Can someone check my Narrative essay? I know it had a lot mistake there. So please help me.Thanks in advance.

The Life of My Brother

I know life become harder and harder each day. Every one of us had experienced the hardship and struggling in life. In my life time I never forgot my brother had sacrificed his life for us. It been almost nine years but I never forgot the day he dropped out the school. After my dad passed away he decided to drop out of school just to help my mom with our expenses of daily life. In the , June is the month of the children goes back to school. Before the school started he, my younger sister, and me went to school to register the classes. Suddenly he said to me that he will stop of schooling because he wanted my sibling and I go to the good school. So he needs to help my mom for the tuition to pay for us in school. In the you need to pay the tuition for your schooling, it doesn’t matter it elementary or high school but you need to pay before go to school. It not like in here it free. After I heard that I was shocked and speechless. I can see the tear from his eyes are going to rolling down. I can felt how his feel. I know it really hard to him to choose that, but I don’t know what to do to comfort him.

I felt that I’m useless because I didn’t doing anything good to him. Every time I see him I feel guilty because he has sacrificed most of his valuables thing in life just to sent his sibling to the good school. I know it hard to give up our education but he don’t have any choose. I always said to myself why he has been in tragic life, why our family had too many problems to overcome? I been asking those question to myself again and again when I’m sad. When he dropped out of school he take my mom to go to work everyday. Since my mom don’t know how drive so she need him for that. Sometimes he took us to school and picked us after school too. He always reminder three of us to be good in school’s so that we will have a good life in the future. When my dad passed away he became the head of the household. I know that the responsibility is so tough, but he handle it pretty well.

He is really important to me because he help me a lot in life. He taught me how to respect and to be a good girl to my mom. He taught me how to myself and independent. He such a great brother to me and is kindhearted to everyone too. He treads everyone like his brother. My mom always said to us to be good to him and respect him. She said without him I can’t go to school. Yeah I agreed what my mom had said. I have been thankful that I had a good brother like him. Thanks to him that I know my knowledge in school. I think without him I will literally. Even now he not live with us but I still love him and missed him when he still with us. He always was asking me about my general life. I know it really hard to speak it out to thanks the entire thing he had done for us but I know one day I will speak that word out loud. I really appreciate all of the kindness and sacrifice that he has given to us. I’m so proud that I have a kind brother like him.

Can someone check this essay please?
The Life of My Brother(correction)



I know life becomes harder and harder each day. Every one of us has experienced the hardships and struggles in life.  In my life time, I never forgot how my brother had sacrificed his life for us. It has been almost nine years but I have never forgotten the day he dropped out of school.  After my dad passed away, he decided to drop out of school just to help my mom with our daily life expenses. In the Philippines, June is the month when the children go back to school. Before the school started my brother, my younger sister, and I went to school to register for the classes. Suddenly he asked me to help tell mom that he wanted to stop schooling so that my sibling and I could get better schools. So he needed to help my mom to pay our tuition. In the Philippines you need to pay tuition for your schooling. It doesn’t matter whether it’s elementary or high school but you need to pay before you go to school. It’s not like in here where it is free. After I heard that, I was shocked and speechless. I would see the tears from his eyes rolling down. I could feel how he felt. I knew that it was really hard for him to choose that, but I didn’t know what to do to comfort him.



I felt that I was useless because I didn’t doing anything good for him. Every time I see him I feel guilty because he has sacrificed most of the valuable things in his life just to send his sibling to a good school. I know it was hard for him to give up his education but he didn’t have any choice. I’ve always asked myself, “Why he has he led such a tragic life? Why does our family have too many problems to overcome?” I’ve been asking myself those questions over and over when I’m sad. When he dropped out of school he sent my mom to work every day. Since my mom didn’t know how to drive, she needed him for that. Sometimes he took us to school and picked us up after school too. He always reminded the three of us to be good in school so that we could have a better life in the future. When my dad passed away he became the head of the household. I know that the responsibility was so tough, but he handled it pretty well.



 He is really important to me because he helped me a lot in life. He taught me how to respect and to be a good girl to my mom. He taught me how to be myself and independent. He is such a great brother to me and he is kindhearted to everyone too. He treats everyone just as he would his brother. My mom always asked us to be good to him and respect him. She said without him I couldn’t go to school. Yeah I agreed with what my mom said. I am very thankful that I have had such a good brother. It is thanks to him that I now gain my knowledge in school. Even now he does not live with us but I still love him and I miss him. He always asks me about my general life. I know that it is really hard to speak it out and thank him for what he did for us but I know that one day I will tell him out loud. I really appreciate all of the kindness and sacrifice that he has made for us. I’m so proud to have a kind brother like him.

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The Life of My Brother(correction)

I know life becomes harder and harder each day. Every one of us has experienced the hardships and struggles in life.  In my life time, I never forgot how my brother had sacrificed his life for us. It has been almost nine years but I have never forgotten the day he dropped out of school.  After my dad passed away, he decided to drop out of school just to help my mom with our daily life expenses. In the Philippines, June is the month when the children go back to school. Before the school started my brother, my younger sister, and I went to school to register for the classes. Suddenly he asked me to help tell mom that he wanted to stop schooling so that my sibling and I could get better schools. So he needed to help my mom to pay our tuition. In the Philippines you need to pay tuition for your schooling. It doesn’t matter whether it’s elementary or high school but you need to pay before you go to school. It’s not like in here where it is free. After I heard that, I was shocked and speechless. I would see the tears from his eyes rolling down. I could feel how he felt. I knew that it was really hard for him to choose that, but I didn’t know what to do to comfort him.

I felt that I was useless because I didn’t doing anything good for him. Every time I see him I feel guilty because he has sacrificed most of the valuable things in his life just to send his sibling to a good school. I know it was hard for him to give up his education but he didn’t have any choice. I’ve always asked myself, “Why he has he led such a tragic life? Why does our family have too many problems to overcome?” I’ve been asking myself those questions over and over when I’m sad. When he dropped out of school he sent my mom to work every day. Since my mom didn’t know how to drive, she needed him for that. Sometimes he took us to school and picked us up after school too. He always reminded the three of us to be good in school so that we could have a better life in the future. When my dad passed away he became the head of the household. I know that the responsibility was so tough, but he handled it pretty well.

 He is really important to me because he helped me a lot in life. He taught me how to respect and to be a good girl to my mom. He taught me how to be myself and independent. He is such a great brother to me and he is kindhearted to everyone too. He treats everyone just as he would his brother. My mom always asked us to be good to him and respect him. She said without him I couldn’t go to school. Yeah I agreed with what my mom said. I am very thankful that I have had such a good brother. It is thanks to him that I now gain my knowledge in school. Even now he does not live with us but I still love him and I miss him. He always asks me about my general life. I know that it is really hard to speak it out and thank him for what he did for us but I know that one day I will tell him out loud. I really appreciate all of the kindness and sacrifice that he has made for us. I’m so proud to have a kind brother like him.

Hi Scott! thank you so much for correction my essay. i really appreaciated it. By the way my name is trixie and nice to meet you.
you're welcome Emotion: smile anytime you need an essay correction, you know where to find me...c ya Emotion: wink
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thanks! if you have time can you check this essay for me please?

Dear Supervisor,

First of all I would like to thanks for sending the information and DVD about the military. After I had read some information about this I decided not to join in this activity. So I would like to let you know that, that is why I wrote this letter to you. I want you to remove my name and address in your list. I also want you to let your recruiters know about this, because they kept following me every time I’m at campus. Can you guys stop calling me because it so annoying and I know you know that. I been avoided the call every time you guys calling me. I hope you will understand me. That is my private life if I don’t want to join the military. I hope you guy can respect other decision.

Here why, I don’t want to join in this activity because I think it not the right time for me to join. I have a lot thing to do beside this. I know everyone of us had different though and decision what the right thing to do. We human being have the freedom to choose which is good to do because it our life. You guys can’t force us to join the military if we don’t want to. I have personal life to do beside this that is why I’m planning not to join. I know that I had given you my address and my name to you but I really want all my information removes on your list.

Other thing than that, I was confuse that time and didn’t really know what to do in my life, so I give my address and name for your military recruiting. When I found out some information about the military I was confuse to join or not because I want to serve the government too. But I was an only child in my family and I don’t want to far way my parents. As I read about the military I need to training for several months that is why I don’t to join because I don’t want to away from my parents and friends that long.

Another reason I’m not join in the military is because I want to made my dream come true to be a doctor. I don’t want to give it up easily and that also my parents dreams too. I don’t have too much time to spend in the military and in school together. I know in the military they pay for your tuition and things you need in school but I want to pay by myself. That is why I need to work to support my education. I know some folks want to join in the military because that they dream to be and other people join it because they don’t know what they want. So they decide to join in this activity.

I hope you will understand what I mean in this letter. I know you guys want us to join the military to serve the government. That is good too but everyone of us have privacy in life to do beside that. I know you had received a lot about this letter but I hope you can understand me and remove my name and address in your list. Sorry if I disturbing you but I need to let you know what my though was. Anyway thank you for sending the DVD and the information about the military. But now I’m interesting anymore that is why I write this letter to let you know. Well I hope you can understand my feeling and kindly remove all my information in your list too. Once again thank you and have a great day.