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(A picture of a small sailboat to the left)I remember sailing in a boat this size. Actually the boat I used to sail in was probably a bit larger and carried a crew of two, a skipper and crew. The skipper steers the boat and the crew member handles the jiff. Once, I was fortunate to get an opportunity to sail alone after my partner dropped out of the class. The instructor, at first, was relunctant to let me handle it alone for fear of capsizing the small delicate boat and having to rescue the boat and me. After long consideration and the assistant instructor suggesting removing the jiff, I sailed out to the calm lake. However things turned ugly shortly after that. The calm weather, all of a sudden, turned violent. I was not far from the dock as I'd just left. The other boats were rocking and I could hear some students shouting. In a matter of minutes, a boat capsized and the two students were in the water treading. In less than five minutes, another boat followed. As I was struggling to keep my boat steady and sail back to the dock, the assistant instructor on a jet ski rode to rescue while another assistant jumped into a motorboat and followed. Luckily, no one was hurt. It was a great experience to me.

Please correct any mistakes. Thanks in advance!
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The language is quite good.

I'm not sure if you mean to imply that the picture is of a one-man boat. The way the sentence flows, you expect both statements to relate to comparing the size. I've never been sailing. Does the term "skipper" specifically refer to the person who handles the tiller? We use it as a friendly term for the captain, or the person in charge. "The skipper" = "The captain." You address him casually as "Skipper." I could be wrong, but I think "crew" always refers to a group of more than one. I guess you could say, "a crew of one," like "a party of one." I believe "crewman" or "crew member" would refer to one individual. (I note you use "crew member" the second time, but the first time might be a problem.)

How about paragraphs? May we occasionally have a new paragraph? The thing about the partner and the class comes out of the blue, or "off the wall." You need to somehow introduce that you're taking a class. Otherwise we say, "What the heck is this?"

Re the "After long" sentence, you at least need a comma after "consideration." It was difficult for me to parse on my first try. It's sort of a compound introductory phrase - one prepositional, and one participial. I'm not sure if it would be better, were they of the same genre. It may be considered an error that "after long consideration" appears to refer to you, and I don't believe it really does. (After long consideration, I sailed)

There's a small time-frame problem in the next non-paragraph. You had sailed out to the calm lake. From whence? It sounds like it might have taken a while. If it's a large lake, and we commence from a dock at the edge of it, we'd say, "I sailed out into the lake." If, on the other hand, our dock is located on some kind of an inlet, we could say "I sailed out to the lake [proper]. Either way, it sounds like you covered some distance. The weather changed abruptly "shortly after that." Then you say, "I was not far from the dock, as I'd just left." It doesn't "add up."

"The calm weather, all of a sudden, turned violent." This interruption in the flow of the sentence spoils the urgency of it. Try, "The calm weather suddenly turned violent," or "Suddenly the calm weather turned violent."

Re "the two students," there's not really a clear antecedent (wrong word). I'd say, "and its two students were in the water." The expression is "treading water," but you can't say "water" twice. You need to work something else out.

Re "another boat followed," I know what you mean, but "followed" is ambiguous here (followed you around?). How about, "another boat met the same fate."? (Moby Dick: "and all save one shall follow")

"on a jet ski" set off with commas. "rode to the rescue"

To me, it was a great experience. OR It was a great experience for me.

Best wishes, - A.
Thanks, Avangi. I have made some changes based on your comments. Could you please review to make sure it's all right now?

I remember sailing in a boat this size. Actually the boat I used to sail in was probably a bit larger and carried a crew of two, a skipper and crew member. The skipper steers the boat and the crew member handles the jiff.

Once, I was fortunate to get an opportunity to sail alone. It was one of my summer long sailing course and my partner dropped out halfway for reason I can't recall. The instructor, at first, was relunctant to let me handle it alone for fear of capsizing the small delicate boat and having to rescue the boat and me. After long consideration by the instructor, and the assistant instructor suggesting removing the jiff, I sailed out into the calm lake.

However things turned ugly . The calm weather suddenly turned violent. I was not as far from the dock as the other students as I left later due to the debate. The other boats were rocking and I could hear some students shouting. In a matter of minutes, a boat capsized and its two students were in the water, all soaked and waiting for help. In less than five minutes, another boat suffered the same fate. As I was struggling to keep my boat steady and sail back to the dock, the assistant instructor on a jet ski, rode to the rescue while another assistant jumped into a motorboat and followed. Luckily, no one was hurt. It was a great experience.
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Hi N2g,

It was one of my summer long sailing course and my partner dropped out halfway for reason I can't recall.

It was during one of my summer long sailing courses, after my partner had dropped out in mid course for some reason I can't recall.

The instructor, at first, was relunctant to let me handle it alone for fear of capsizing the small delicate boat and having to rescue the boat and me. After long consideration by the instructor, and the assistant instructor suggesting removing the jiff, I sailed out into the calm lake.

The instructor was at first reluctant to let me handle the boat alone. He feared the small, delicate craft might capsize, leaving him with the task of rescuing me as well as the boat. The instructor's assistant suggested that removing the jiff would make the sailboat easier for one man to handle. After long consideration, they decided it would be safe to go ahead with the plan, and I was finally allowed to sail out into the calm lake.

I forgot to mention earlier that "calm" is not a word to which sailing folk take kindly.

However things turned ugly . The calm weather suddenly turned violent. I was not as far from the dock as the other students as I left later due to the debate.

Meantime, the other students had left me far behind. Fortunately for me, I had not progressed very far from the dock when things decided to turn ugly. The calm weather suddenly became violent. (better not to repeat "turned")

Best wishes, - A.

The instructor, at first, was relunctant to let me handle it alone for fear of capsizing the small delicate boat and having to rescue the boat and me.

Avangi, thanks for the rephrasing. Could you help me understand why the above sounds unnatural? I believe that's the reason you rephrased it entirely.
The instructor, at first, was relunctant (1) to let me handle it (2) alone for fear of capsizing (3) the small delicate boat and having (5) to rescue the boat and me. After long consideration by the instructor, and the assistant instructor suggesting removing the jiff, (6) I sailed out into the calm lake.

The instructor was at first reluctant to let me handle the boat alone. He feared the small, delicate craft (4) might capsize, leaving him with the task of rescuing me as well as the boat. The instructor's assistant suggested that removing the jiff would make the sailboat easier for one man to handle. After long consideration, they decided it would be safe to go ahead with the plan, and I was finally allowed to sail out into the calm lake.

(1) If the interrupted flow of a structure serves no purpose, and may be replaces with a smoother structure having the same meaning, go for it.

(2) "It" has no antecedent. Also, the sentence is too dang long, or has too many different ideas in it.

(3) "The instructor" is the subject of the sentence. The fear is his, but not the capsizing. This is a transitive, active construction. Who is going to capsize the boat?? With no information to the contrary, we have to assume it's the instructor. We can solve this by switching to passive, or middle voice (intransitive?), if you've been following that magnificent thread.

(4) Use "craft" to avoid repeating "boat."

(5) After changing "capsizing," we can no longer use the parallel structure "for fear of capsizing and having." "Craft" is now the subject of the clause, which has two actiions, capsizing and leaving. (You could probably say the "leaving" phrase refers to "capsizing.")

(6) You completely fail to integrate the business about the assistant instructor and the jiff. What has it to do with the outcome of the story?
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(3) "The instructor" is the subject of the sentence. The fear is his, but not the capsizing. This is a transitive, active construction. Who is going to capsize the boat?? With no information to the contrary, we have to assume it's the instructor. We can solve this by switching to passive, or middle voice (intransitive?), if you've been following that magnificent thread.

AHA. Now I see why!!! Good points. So, it would be
The instructor, at first, was relunctant (1) to let me handle it (2) alone for fear of the small boat being capsized and having (5) to rescue the craft and me.

I think we can live without being 100% parallel all the time right? Thought it may not be elegant I've seen it done many times. I'm not arguing but trying to see whether the possibility exists.

(6) Without the go-ahead from the instructor, I couldn't leave the dock. The two clauses are related, aren't they?
New2grammarI think we can live without being 100% parallel all the time right? Thought it may not be elegant I've seen it done many times. I'm not arguing but trying to see whether the possibility exists.

This is surely true. I would object only when it makes a long sentence difficult to read or understand. (I almost wrote "I would only object when . . . " but I remembered MrWordy.)

(6) Without the go-ahead from the instructor, I couldn't leave the dock. The two clauses are related, aren't they?

True again. What I objected to was that you didn't give the assistant enough credit. But on the other hand, maybe I gave him too much. But I think it makes a better story if his suggestion is acted upon and has some bearing on the decision to let you go out alone. Your version leaves the reader wondering what really happened. You need to say they took the bloody thing off.

- A.

Thanks, Avangi. I think I know why you made the corrections now.

By the way, I don't quite remember what Mr. Wordy said. I know he said something about the position of only changing the meaning.

I would interpret either version the same. IS there any difference? Thsi is off topic of course.
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