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Ken: I'm so glad to see you. I was so excited when I got your call that you were coming to visit.
I would be so lonely this weekend if you hadn't come.My parents are out of town and my girlfriend is busy with her friend's weddingpreparation.

Amy: I have always wanted to pay you a visit. The moment my mom agreed to babysit my baby and that
my days off was approved, I couldn't wait to see you. Can you believe it's been 3 years since we've met.
Time really flies. I'm now married with a kid.

Are there any mistakes? Thanks in advance!
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Ken: I'm so glad to see you. I was so excited when I got your call that you were coming to visit.
I would be so lonely this weekend if you hadn't come.My parents are out of town and my girlfriend is busy with her friend's wedding preparations.
Amy: I have always wanted to pay you a visit. The moment my mom agreed to babysit my baby and that
my days off were approved, I couldn't wait to see you. Can you believe it's been 3 years since we've met?
Time really flies. I'm now married with a kid.

The sentences are OK, but the dialogue is very unnatural. We do not speak in such uninterrupted streams or well-formed sentences; there is more fragmentation and give-and-take.
Comments  
Thanks for the advice, MM.