hi all,
please evaluate my essay by providing a BAND score and provide your sugessions are highly acceptable.
Thank You.

topic:In many countries traditional food is changed to international fast food. This has negative effect on Families and societies as well. Do you agree or disagree provide reasons for your opinion.

Old food has been altered to global fast food in great number of nations as well as some Unfavorable results have been appeared on families and communities due to this replacement. Totally I should acknowledge that most of modern kinds of foods are futile or even harmful. I will offer some reasons about this issue.
Formerly customary foods could be found in every home nevertheless; nowadays most of people believe that they are very time-consuming. In the majority of countries most of people work long hours so, they do not have enough time to cook and have to eat fast foods instead. It is more inexpensive than traditional foods in addition help people to save more time for other activities. Based on a recent report of Daily Economy magazine, a portion of customary food averagely costs twice more than a fast food in all over the world. As a result using fast foods are increasing every day.
On the other hand, fast food and canned have a lot of serious and unhealthy ingredients like Micro Acid. Every year a lot of people are died or injured because of it. Scientist shows that eating fast foods more than 5 times in a week can reduce our life about eight to twelve years. Therefore cost of cure and health care that are happened thanks to eating fast foods are more than amount of money that maybe we save due to using cheapness of fast foods. Aside from health, many social relations especially in immediate families have reduced due family members don't meet each other when they spend their meal times in restaurants and fast foods shop. Improvement family's relation is a secondary application of using traditional foods because most of the time people eat this kind of food with each others. Accordingly families are the most prominent part of a society then if families would be in a suitable condition, society would be more efficient and safe.
In conclusion, it should be better for our health, economy and society to pay more attention to look after some old methods of living like traditional eating habits more and more. It gives a big chance to us to use previous generations' experiences.
Hi jkiarash,

The band value of your essay is 3.5 out of 5.5. IELTS essay writing is 5.5 band writing. Why the score is this?

In the starting of your essay, first you should tell about the importance of food and why human wants to change tastes. After some introduction then raise your points about your agreement/disagrement with the question statement. Then, proceed the opinions of others and finally your conclusions.

Apart from this, you have not taken care of the punctuations and the small/capital letters.

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