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Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about his opinion?

The protection of natural species has become a hot topic for many individuals who believed that humans are paying too much attention and allocating too many resources to this issue. In my point of view, I totally agree with this opinion.

On the one hand, I think there are two main reasons why people spend a huge amount of careness protecting wildlife. Firstly, many non-governmental organizations have been established in order to protect animals all over the world. However, they are really worried about the activities which are related to animals in several different fields in global. For instance, the music video named “ROAR” that is performed by Katy Perry was accused as using tiger and elephant image so as to the purchase and sale purposes while she did not mean to. Moreover, these articles write about wild animals are able to be shared in a wink on the Internet. If a bear is caught somewhere, tons of news about this creature will immediately spread in a wide way on social media like Facebook.

On the other hand, the budget for this project is being overwhelmed to save the wild birds. Firstly, any wild bird’s protection projects need to require a large amount of money to be carried out. Besides, infrastructure and research’s for conserving the DNA of wild birds, the handier for expenditure. Secondly, the expense for these protection projects is in a relatively unnecessary limit. Meanwhile, the source of capital can be built to enhance living standards in some regions contrasts with the investment in protecting many breeds of birds seemed to waste of money.

In conclusion, while I do not refuse the argument for the conservation of wildlife, I believe that it should attract less attention and fewer resources from the public.

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I did not understand a lot of your text. It is not good English. You do not use vocabulary words correctly in context.


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The protection of natural species has become a hot topic (This is memorized text. There is nothing in the essay instructions about "hot topics" or debates. Do not memorize your answers.) for many individuals who believed (Past tense?) that humans are paying too much attention and allocating too many resources to them. this issue. In my point of view, ("Agree" is a point of view, so this phrase is redundant.) I totally agree with this opinion.

On the one hand, I think there are two main reasons why people spend a large huge amount of time and effort careness (wrong word) protecting wildlife. Firstly, First, many non-governmental organizations have been established in order to protect animals all over the world. However, they are really worried about the activities which are related to animals (I do not understand this.) in several different fields in global. (Global is an adjective. It cannot be used this way.) For instance, the music video named “ROAR” that is performed by Katy Perry was accused as using tiger and elephant image so as to the purchase and sale purposes while she did not mean to. (That is very poor English. I do not understand. What is the problem with a picture of a tiger or a picture of an elephant? That is not controversial.) Moreover, these articles (Wrong word. An article is a short piece of writing. Articles do not write.) write about wild animals are able to be shared in a wink (Unnatural, ungrammatical sentence) on the Internet. If a bear is caught somewhere, tons of (Casual, Do not use "tons of" in formal essays.) news about this creature will immediately spread in a wide way on social media like Facebook.

On the other hand, the budget for this project is being overwhelmed (Wrong words. I do not understand this.) to save the wild birds. Firstly, First, any wild bird’s protection projects for wild birds need to require a large amount of money to be carried out. Besides, infrastructure and research’s (wrong form) for conserving the DNA of wild birds, the handier for expenditure. (wrong expression. I do not understand how infrastructure, that is hospitals, airports, rail systems and roads is related to DNA of wild animals.) Secondly, Second, the expense for these protection projects is in a relatively unnecessary limit. (That does not make sense.) Meanwhile, the source of capital can be built to enhance living standards in some regions contrasts (Ungrammatical.) with the investment in protecting many breeds (wrong word - breeds is for domesticated animals like dogs.) of birds seemed to waste of money.

In conclusion, while I do not refuse the argument for object to the conservation of wildlife, but I believe that it should attract less attention and fewer resources from the public.

Comments  
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Hương Giang 7711are given in the protection

to would be a more natural choice.

Hương Giang 7711wild animals and birds.

Wild animals include birds so, it is not necessary to mention them separately.

Thank you very much for your help. Your correction gives me a better understanding. I will try to use the right words and collocation.

Thank you so much. Yours is really helpful.

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