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This English article is written by my friend and I help correct the mistakes. however, I am not a native English speaker, could you point out whether I make the right corrections for the article and could you help correct the mistakes which are not found out by me. Sorry, I really do not know how to fis the format problem here. can you teach me?

Throughout this century, the role of women (women's roles )within society has changed(have changed a lot), and the majority of people feel that this change(these changes are) is for the better. More women work(get out of their house to work) than ever before, and it is (widely accepted)accepted in Western culture(delete "western culture") that many women now (add "even"here)have (add "their own" )careers. Nonetheless, in my opinion (comma)there is still a great deal of sexual discrimination against women within society(a great deal of sexual discrimination against women still exists within society), and the belief (assertion) that sexual equality has been achieved is not altogether accurate.

To begin with, many women find it very difficult to return to work after having children. The main reason for this(delete "for this") is that there are rarely any provisions (few provisions are)made for childcare in the workplace and, in these cases, women are forced to (have to)find someone to look after the children while they are at work. Obviously, this can prove to be a time-consuming and expensive (time and money-consuming)process(delete process), yet it must be done if mothers are to be able(plan) to resume their careers.

Secondly, the traditional views of the position of women within society are so deeply ingrained that they have not really changed. For instance, not only is the view that women should stay at home and look after their family still widely held, but it is reinforced through images seen (shown)on television programmes and advertisements. An example of this is that few man are ever seen doing housework on television, since this is traditionally though of as “a woman’s job”.

Thirdly, since families often need two (two sources of incomes)incomes in order to enjoy(ensure) a good standard of living, a woman finds herself doing(women often actually do) two jobs: one at home and one (the other)at the office. So, it could be said that a woman’s position(women's position) has, in fact, deteriorated rather than improved, with the result that (as)women carry the burdens of equality but get none of theEmotion: no benefits.

In contrast, there are some people who (some people claim that)claim that the problem of sexual discrimination no longer exists. They point out that women do, after all, (,after all, do)have legal rights intended to protect them from discrimination. In addition, a few women are not (are)beginning to reach top (job positions)positions (such as)as judges, business leaders and politicians, while a number of other previously all-made (man's)professions are opening their ranks(opening their doors) to women. Nonetheless, these examples are not the norm and discrimination (discrimination phenomena are still widespread.)is still very much with us.

Taking these points into consideration, I would say that the position of women has improved only slightly. While rules and laws (Although regulations and laws)have changed, it is the deep-rooted opinion of people within society which are taking a longer time to evolve. (it will take a long time for people to change their deep-rooted bias.) Needless to say, until these attitudes have changed, sexual discrimination will remain a problem which we all need to face and fight against.(Needless to say, sexual discrimination will still remain a big social problem which we all need to face and fight against unless these biases disappear.
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The font in red are the corrections made by you??
yes , the red words are corrected by me. are my corrections correct or better than the original ones? could you help point out the mistakes still hidden in the article. thank you so much. by the way , how to fix the format when I paste the original article from my Word SOFTWARE onto this forum it is a big headache for me