guys could someone take a look at my pre-writing for an essay and make some suggestion....

Bill Gates' Impact on my Life
Pre-Write

1 Ideas:
1- Do I like Bill Gates or Not?
2- Bill Gates' influence on my work day
3- Microsoft Office's impact on my work (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, etc)
4- Email clients and calendars (Microsoft Outlook vs Thunderbird and others)
5- Exchange Server vs other Mail Servers
6- Windows or Macs
7- Linux vs Windows
8- Web development and internet (Apache vs IIS)
9- Internet Explorer vs Firefox (browser wars)
10- ASP or PHP(web dev)
11- Standard applications in my everyday life
12- Microsoft Office or Google Apps
13- Bill Gates' impact on my work life (better or for worst)
14- Bill Gates and everyday IT (evolution)
15- A Computer in every desk
16- Maintenance of servers at work
17- Automation of software and apps
18- Is Microsoft a monopoly?
19- Bill Gate's Antitrust (US v. Microsoft)
20- Bill Gates' monopoly coming down in recent years

2 Grouping
Paragraph 1: 1, 2, 3, 11, 12, 13
Paragraph 2: 4, 5
Paragraph 3: 6, 7
Paragraph 4: 8, 9, 10
Paragraph 5: 14, 15, 16, 17
Paragraph 6: 18, 19, 20

3 Main Ideas for Paragraphs
Paragraph 1: Bill Gates' influence on my work day.
Paragraph 2: How Microsoft communication application compare to others
Paragraph 3: The Operating System war, how Windows stacks against MAC and Linux.
Paragraph 4: Is Internet Explorer better than Firefox? How Microsoft's web server compares to other server like Apache from Linux.
Paragraph 5: How Bill Gates has changed Information Technology and IT Support in the past 10 years and the effects on my professional life.
Paragraph 6: Microsoft is a monopoly and some of its downfalls.

4 Thesis:
Bill Gates has change the way I do computing in my everyday life.

Thanks for the help
-JV
Hi,

This seems like an almost mathematical approach to organizing an essay but, if it works for you, I guess that's OK.

My general reaction is that most of these points appear to deal with Microsoft and its products, while not very many seem to deal with the impact on you. Isn't the latter what you should focus on?

In addition, are you assuming that Bill Gates and Microsoft are really synonymous? Have you considered Bill Gates as a man, and what his personal qualities are? eg His vision, his originality, his determination, his charity. Have these influenced you?

Best wishes, Clive
I think you're completely right... I'm approaching the essay from a technical point of view on Microsoft's product that have nothing to do with Bill Gates or his impact on me... I guess like you said I should focus on his qualities as a person and the things he's done that have impacted me....

I'll pre-write it again and repost....

thanks for the help

-JV