I am practicing writing a paragraph only. Can you help me correct all my mistakes. Thank you so much.
1. Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?
Providing online courses can indeed help students in multiple ways. For people who live far away from their school or even in remote areas, it might be hard for them to come to school, so if they have a chance to study online, this could help them have a better learning experience without making them go a long distance that probably takes a lot of time and effort. Similarly, for handicapped students who going to school is considered a challenge for them, they might get a chance to be educated which is useful to get a job later on by joining online courses. Another point is that these classes are way cheaper compared to traditional classes so it allows people who do not have a lot of money to participate. This is a really good thing because many gifted students with limited budgets can unleash their true potential and have a brighter future.
2: Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?
Providing an exercise period during working hours has more benefits to employees than anyone can think of. First, working for long hours can make anyone tired but sparing a little time standing up and doing some moves can help them get healthier. As a result their performance will get better, with a strong body both physically and mentally, you can be sure that they will be more productive in the work that was given to them. Second, this can also prove that the company actually cares for its employees and want the best for them not just trying to exploit their labor for their own good. Such activities like this can promote loyalty between the company and the workers which helps to keep the quality staff to stay and dedicate more to their work.
3: Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It cannot be denied that the resources we have on Earth are limited but that does not mean we should stop discovering the universe because it actually brings so many benefits to our planet. By exploring space, we can have an early detection of the things that can harm our Earth like small planets or meteorites. After that, scientists can figure out a way to solve the problems, they can try different methods to stop these from crashing into the Earth by firing a missile that changes its flight trajectory. Another advantage is to find a new planet where humans can live on it as the globe is dealing with the risk of being destroyed by so many environmental issues. In these recent years, we all know the rising of global warming and other pollution problems have affected our planet negatively and it is understandable if someday we can no longer stay on this Earth and have to find another place out there in space to survive and this can only be done if our scientists have a chance to study the universe.
4: Some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper books will never disappear. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Paper books have existed for so long and through many generations that they can never disappear from our daily lives, but it is time we move forward and realize that E-books also have ít own benefits and it would be a waste if we do not take advantage of them. Firstly, people can read anywhere they want because it is easier for them to store multiple books inside a small device. Imagine you are on a trip and want to read some books but cannot because you did not bring any as it is too heavy to put all those books in your luggage. With E-books that is not a problem anymore because all you need is a smartphone or an iPad. Secondly, in the traditional way, you have to go through a lot of books to find a piece of information that is useful for you which obviously takes a lot of time and effort, but now with the help of the Internet, you can search for whatever you want and the result will come much faster. Lastly, buying multiple books can be really expensive, while E-books can give you an alternative solution, instead of spending a large amount of money for several books you can pay for monthly subscriptions and read as many books as you like.
5: Some people think that you can never become fluent in a language unless you have spent time living or working in that country. To what extent do you agree?
Mastering a language is a hard thing to do, while I agree that you can get better by studying hard but to become fluent you have to spend time in that environment. By surrounding yourself with people who speak the native language you can get used to the sound of it. They clearly have better pronunciation than people outside their country so by constantly listening to it every day, you can improve your speaking and listening skills. Moreover, since it is their mother tongue they tend to use authentic language rather than the language that we learn in school in their daily conversation. If you speak to them regularly you will learn the phrases or the slang they normally use, then you will sound much more natural and more like a native.
Hai Duong1. Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your writing is excessively wordy, ideas are repeated and you stray off-topic. You can express the same amount of information in fewer words.
Providing online courses can indeed help students in multiple ways. For people who live far away from their school or even in remote areas, (redundant) it might be hard for them to come to school, so if they have a chance to study online, this could help them have a better learning experience without making them go a long distance that probably takes a lot of time and effort. (That just repeats the same idea in different words.) Similarly, for handicapped students for whom who going to school is physically challenging, considered a challenge for them, they might get will have a better chance to be educated. which is useful to get a job later on by joining online courses. (repetitious and off-topic) Another point is that (wordy ) Furthermore, these classes are way cheaper compared to traditional classes so it allows people who do not have a lot of money to participate. For all these reasons, it is a positive development This is a really good thing because many gifted students with limitations of distance, abilities and limited budgets can unleash their true potential and have a brighter future.
Note how the last sentence is a short summary of all the arguments. It "wraps up" the paragraph nicely.
Hai Duong2: Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?
Providing an exercise period during working hours has more benefits for employees than almost anything else. anyone can think of. First, working for long hours can make anyone tired but sparing encouraging a little time to stand standing up and doing some moves can help them be get healthier. As a result their performance will get better, (comma splice error. Ungrammatical sentence) with a strong body both physically and mentally, you can be sure (too casual) that they will be more productive in the work that was given to them. Second, this can also prove that the company actually cares for its employees and want the best for them not just trying to exploit their labor for their own good. Such policies activities like this can promote the workers' loyalty between the company and the workers (verbose) which helps to keep retain the quality staff to stay and convince them to dedicate more to their work.
Hai Duong3: Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It cannot be denied that (Avoid these rather useless dummy-it clauses. They just add words, not any meaningful content.) The resources we have on Earth are limited but that does not mean we should stop discovering the universe because it actually brings so many benefits to us. our planet. By exploring space, we can have an early detection warning of asteroids or comets that could hit us. the things that can harm our Earth like small planets or meteorites. (wrong word - When a meteoroid survives a trip through the atmosphere and hits the ground, it's called a meteorite. Many tons of meteorites impact the Earth every day. They do no harm to the Earth, but very large ones could destroy a city!) After that, scientists can figure out a way to solve the problems, they can try different methods to stop these prevent the dangerous ones from crashing into the Earth. by firing a missile that changes its flight trajectory. Another advantage is to find a new planet where humans can live on it as the globe the Earth / our world is dealing with the risk of being destroyed by so many environmental issues. In these recent years, We all know the rising of that global warming and other pollution problems have affected our planet negatively. Your sentences are run-on and out of control. Put one idea in each sentence.) and it is understandable if Someday we can no longer stay on this Earth and have to find another place out there in space to survive and this can only be done if our scientists have a chance to study the universe.
You will get more answers and faster answers if you put only one paragraph in each post.