Hi, everybody. I wrote an essay to practise for the fce exam (I'll take it next year) and I would like you to read it and comment anything you think that should be written differently. Thanks in advance.

[Informar letter]

Dear Sean,

I'm writing because I knew you were looking for a pen friend in my country and I thought that we could get on well with each other.

Let me introduce myself. My name's Fernando Almeida and I'm nineteen years old. I'm a university student from UTFPR and I'm going to be a mechanical engineer. The thing I most like to do in my life is to meet my friends and my girlfriend because I feel happy when I'm with them. I like to listen to music, as well. In fact, I like all kinds of art, from sculptures to theatre.

I live with my parents in a great gold city called Curitiba. By the way, my parents are really nice. My mother's always looking after me and my father's always telling us things about his life. They're awesome! Besides, they respect me and I feel confortable when they're around.

Look, I was just wondering, I think it would be great to meet you in the future. What do you think about it?

All the best,

Fernando Almeida
This is the first thread I created here and I hadn't noticed that there is a specific forum for letters. I tried to post there, after posting here, but my message was published here. Anyway, I would really be happy if anyone could help me.
I am the one who wrote the letter above and I noticed that I posted it in the wrong place, as I said in my last message, so could any of the moderators please move this thread to the 'Letters' forum? I would be very grateful.
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The essay you had wroten is great,but you must more practise.
Thank you, anonymous, for your comment, I was looking forward for an answer. And of course I will practise more Emotion: smile

Could anyone else help me with my text, too? I would be grateful.
Anonymous
Hi, everybody. I wrote an essay to practise for the fce exam (I'll take it next year) and I would like you to read it and comment anything you think that should be written differently. Thanks in advance.

[Informar letter]

Dear Sean,

I'm writing because I knew you were looking for a pen friend in my country and I thought that we could get on well with each other.

Let me introduce myself. My name's Fernando Almeida and I'm nineteen years old. I'm a university student from UTFPR and I'm going to be a mechanical engineer. The thing I most like to do in my life is to meet my friends and my girlfriend because I feel happy when I'm with them. I like to listen to music, as well. In fact, I like all kinds of art, from sculptures to theatre.

I live with my parents in a great gold city called Curitiba. By the way, my parents are really nice. My mother's always looking after me and my father's always telling us things about his life. They're awesome! Besides, they respect me and I feel confortable when they're around.

Look, I was just wondering, I think it would be great to meet you in the future. What do you think about it?

All the best,

Fernando Almeida

Dear Sean,

I'm writing you this letter because I know you are looking for a pen friend from my country and I think that we could get on well.

Let me introduce myself. My name's Fernando Almeida and I'm nineteen years old. I'm a university student from UTFPR and I'm going to be a mechanical engineer. What I like most is to go out and stay with my friends and my girlfriend because I feel really (otherwise seems that you can't be happy without them) happy when I'm with them. I like to listen to music (write which kind of music you like), as well. I like all of the different kinds of art, in fact I like watching sculptures and going to the theatre.

I live with my parents in a great golden (are you referring to its brightness?) city called Curitiba. By the way, my parents are really nice. My mother's always looking after me and my father's always telling us things about his life. They're awesome! Besides, they respect me and I feel confortable when they're around.

Look, I was just wondering, wouldn't it be great if we could met in the future?

I hoped this helped... You made just a few mistakes... Check the spelling of the grey word...

Best wishes,

=YoHf=
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Yohf, thank you for your comments, you really helped me a lot Emotion: smile

Best wishes,

Fernando
i like your essay. and it helps me