+1

Dear sir or madam,

I am writing to express my keen interested in the reception staff position which I saw advertised on your website.

I had some experience of this work, and I am enthusiastic about developing a career in this field. Now I am in my final year at Hanoi Metropolitan University, and my major is English language, so I can speak English proficiently. Moreover, besides learning at school, I have worked as a waiter at some famous restaurants, during that time, I have had more chances to meet and communicate with many people who come from a lot of different countries. Therefore, now I am quite confident when I converse with foreigners or talk in front of a crowd.

As you will see from my CV, I have relevant experience from voluntary work which I carried out at a small hotel last summer. During my time at the hotel, I was responsible for customer services. Every day, I had to deal with guests' requests or handle their problems. Especially, I had been instructed by experienced staff. They trained me some necessary skills such as teamwork skills, customer service skills, and organizational skills.

I believe I meet all the requirements listed in your advertisement.

Actually, I am always willing to work at any one of three locations.

I hope I have shown that I am an ideal candidate for this position.

I look forward to hearing from you. However, if there is any further information you require in the meantime, please let me know.

Yours faithfully,

+0

Dear Ssir or Mmadam,

I am writing to express my keen interested in the reception staff position which that I saw advertised on your website.

I had have some experience of this work, and I am enthusiastic about developing a career in this field. Now, I am in my final year at Hanoi Metropolitan University, and my major is English language, so I can speak English proficiently. Moreover, besides learning at school, I have worked as a waiter at some famous restaurants. (period), Dduring that time, I have had more chances to meet and communicate with many people who come came from a lot of different countries. Therefore, now I am quite confident when I converse with foreigners or talk in front of a crowd. (What is the topic sentence of this paragraph?)

As you will see from my CV, I have relevant experience from voluntary work which that I carried out at a small hotel last summer. During my time at the hotel, I was responsible for customer services. Every day, I had to deal with guests' requests or handle their problems. Especially, I had been instructed by experienced staff. They trained me with some necessary skills such as teamwork skills, customer service skills, and organizational skills. (These prior two sentences are clumsy.)

I believe I meet all the requirements listed in your advertisement.

Actually, I am always willing to work at any one of three locations.

I hope I have shown that I am an ideal candidate for this position.

I look forward to hearing from you. However, if there is any further information you require in the meantime, please let me know.

Yours faithfully,


Your letter is okay for a person just out of university. But you should try to improve so that you stand out from the crowd. I will quickly provide a draft letter.


Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my keen interesting in your reception staff position that you advertised on your website. I am available to work at any of your three locations.

I am an enthusiastic person with a strong knowledge of English. On June 30 (whatever date), I will graduate from Hanoi Metropolitan University with a major in English.

Complementing my academic studies is my work experience. (The prior sentence is optional. The reader will soon know that this paragraph is "work experience.") I was a waiter at some famous restaurants where I met and spoke with people who came from different countries around the globe. I also worked on a voluntary basis at a small hotel last summer where I was responsible for customer service. I dealt with (or addressed) their concerns. The hotel staff provided training on teamwork, customer service, and organizational skills.

As demonstrated by my enthusiasm, academic qualifications, and prior work experience, I am a strong candidate for this position.

I will contact you in one week's time (or by X date) to discuss my application.

Your faithfully (sincerely or whatever),

You


What is good about this letter as opposed to your version?

In the opening paragraph, we say why we are writing and we let them know that you are available for all three locations. That's good.

The second paragraph is academic. You've covered that topic.

The third paragraph is work experience. We bridged the work experience to the academic with "Complementing my academic studies . . . "

The fourth paragraph, we say that we are a strong candidate. No point being bashful. You want to seem confident in your abilities.

The fifth paragraph is that you will contact him or her (you should find out who he or she is before you write this letter). If you want this job, show some initiative and contact him or her.

I hope this draft helps you as you think about your future applications.

Good luck!

Comments  
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
Thanks a lot .

I appreciate the thanks. When we respond to or correct an essay or a letter, we put a lot of work into our response. So, we appreciate when others say thank you.