Dear All,

I need to apply for an abroad internship. I started my cover letter but could you revise my cover letter ?

I underwent for 3 years a Bachelor in economics and finances within the Université Catholique de Lille (France). I studied financial analysis and accounting. I have joined SKEMA Business School in September. I develop my knowledge on corporate finance and strategy.
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This program is incorporated within the framework of working in the financial sector. I have an interest in finance for 9 years. It is characterized by the creation of a virtual fund with the objective to grow it. In order to maximize the capital gain, I learned the basis of the financial analysis such as the income statement, balance sheet or the cash flow statement. I joined in 2014 the financial club of my University. This student association was a forum, where students can share about the financial topic. I was in charge of the mentoring in the financial mentoring (investment decisions and macroeconomics). This year, I was responsible for the financial development in a sustainable project at SKEMA Business School. My teamwork and I have created a sustainable project which is a solution to keep the body heat. I supervised all the financial flows in our project.
Through all these projects, I was able to show my stress resistance and my reactivity.

I thank you in advance for your reply.
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Dear All,

I need to apply for an internship abroad. I started my cover letter but could you revise my cover letter ?

Note: I have made some suggestions, but the letter is not very organized. It wanders for one subject to another. There is a lot of repetition.

I studied for three years towards a Bachelor's degree in Economics and Finance within the Université Catholique de Lille (France) where I studied financial analysis and accounting. I have joined SKEMA Business School in September and am developing my knowledge on corporate finance and strategy.
.
.This program (which program?) is incorporated within the framework of working in the financial sector. I have had an interest in finance for nine years. It (?) is characterized by the creation of a virtual fund (I don't understand this. Do you mean a fictitious corporation or mutual fund?) with the objective to grow it. In order to maximize the capital gain, I learned the basis of the financial analysis such as the income statement, balance sheet or the cash flow statement. In 2014, I joined the financial club of my university. This student association was a forum, where students could share (what? ideas, information, personal experiences?) about the finance. I was in charge of the mentoring in the financial mentoring investment decisions and macroeconomics. This year, I was responsible for the financial development in a sustainable project at SKEMA Business School. My team and I have created a sustainable project which is a solution to keep the body heat (Do you mean something like a parka?). I supervised all the financial flows in our project.
Through all these projects, I was able to show my stress resistance and my reactivity. (? I don't know what you mean. A person who is reactive is not usually a good business person.)

I thank you in advance for your reply.
I thank you for your reply. In bold you will see my new words. For your note, I added titles in order to be clearer (This will not be in my letter).

My educational background
I studied three years towards a Bachelor’s degree in Economics and Finance within the Université Catholique de Lille (France) where I studied financial analysis and accounting. I joined SKEMA Business School in September and am developing my knowledge on corporate finance and strategy.

My "financial" background at school
This educational backgroung is incorporated within the framework of working in the financial sector. I have had an interest in finance for nine years. This leisure is characterized by the creation of a virtual mutual fund with the objective to grow it. In order to maximize the capital gain, I learned the basis of financial analysis such as the income statement, balance sheet or cash flow statement. I joined in 2014 the financial club of my university. This student association was a forum, where students could share their experiences or their ideas about finance. I was also in charge of mentoring in investment decisions and macroeconomics because some students had difficulties in these academic subjects. This year, I was responsible for the financial development in a sustainable project at SKEMA Business School. My team and I have created a sustainable project which is a solution to keep the body heat. I supervised all the financial flows in our project.
My personnality
Through all these projects, I was able to show my stress resistance and my self-control.
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It is much improved.

My educational background
I studied three years towards a Bachelor’s degree in Economics and Finance within the Université Catholique de Lille (France) where I studied financial analysis and accounting. I joined SKEMA Business School in September and am developing my knowledge on corporate finance and strategy.

My "financial" background at school
This educational background is incorporated within the framework of working preparing me for a career in the financial sector. I have had an interest in finance for nine years. In my leisure time, I created is characterized by the creation of a virtual mutual fund with the objective to grow it, . In order to maximizing the capital gain. (Most mutual funds stress total return, the combination of dividends and growth.) I learned to pick stocks (?) on the basis of financial analysis such as the income statement, balance sheet or cash flow statement. In 2014, I joined in 2014 the financial club of my university. This student association was a forum, where students could share their experiences or their ideas about finance. I was also in charge of mentoring in students on their investment decisions and macroeconomics because some students had difficulties in these academic subjects. This year, I was responsible for the financial development in a sustainable project at SKEMA Business School. My team and I have created a sustainable project which is a solution to keep the body heat. (What do you mean by "keep the body heat"? Is that some sort of winter coat made of fur or wool?) I supervised all the financial flows in our project.
My personality
Through all these projects, I was able to show my adaptation to stress resistance and my self-control.
The first thing the reader will want to know is 'Why is this person writing this letter?'

I'd begin by saying eg I am writing to apply for an internship.

Are you also going to send your resume or CV?

Clive
Thank you all for your replies. This weekend I spent a lot of time on my cover letter (in bold, it is my new script). Please could you give some feedbacks on it ? I sincerely appreciate your work and your patience.

For Clive, of course, I am also going to send my CV.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Sir,

I am currently looking for an internship in the financial sector. I saw your traineeship offer on my education portal for a junior financial analyst. It is a great opportunity to apply for this position because I could reconcile my pleasure for the foreign exchange and for the corporate finance in a multinational corporation.

I studied three years towards a Bachelor’s degree in Economics and Finance within the XXXXXX (France) where I studied financial analysis and accounting. I joined XXXX Business School in September in Lille (France) and am developing my knowledge on corporate finance and strategy. I choose this school for its reputation in finance.

This educational background is preparing me for a career in the financial sector. I have had an interest in finance for nine years. In my leisure time, I created a virtual mutual fund with the objective to grow it, maximizing the capital gain, on the foreign exchange and on the . I learned to pick stocks on the basis of financial analysis such as the income statement, balance sheet or cash flow statement. In 2014, I joined the financial club of my university. This student association was a forum, where students could share about finance. I was in charge of mentoring in investment decisions and macroeconomics.

During my Bachelor’s degree, I did an internship at XXXXXX which is an accounting firm. I was in charge of computing the invoices on the Cegid software and performed banking reconciliations. In 2014, I did an internship at XXXXx where I monitored and analysed the financial markets.

Through all these projects, I was able to show my adaptation to stress and my self-control. I hope these qualifications and qualities would match your requirements.

Enclosed is a copy of my resume, which provides more details about my qualifications for the position.

I look forward to meeting you. I will contact you to confirm that you received my application and to answer any questions you may have. Thank you, in advance, for your consideration.
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leplusfortPlease could you give some feedbacks on it ?
Feedback is a non-count noun. Don't use the plural form.

Dear Sir,

I am currently looking for an internship in the financial sector. I saw your traineeship offer (junior financial analyst) on my (? I don't understand - wouldn't it be on your university's site or the employer's site?) education portal. It is a great opportunity to apply for this position because it combines I could reconcile my fascination with currency trading pleasure for the foreign exchange and my career objective with for the corporate finance in a multinational corporation.

I studied three years towards a Bachelor’s degree in Economics and Finance within the XXXXXX (France) where I studied financial analysis and accounting. I joined XXXX Business School in September in Lille (France) and am developing my knowledge on corporate finance and strategy. I choose this school because of for its reputation in finance.

This educational background is preparing me for a career in the financial sector. I have had an interest in finance for nine years. In my leisure time, I created a virtual mutual fund with the objective to grow it, maximizing the capital gain, (in real local currency?. Did you practice currency-hedging strategy?) on the foreign exchange and on the . I learned to pick stocks on the basis of financial analysis using published corporate financial data from documents such as the income statement, balance sheet or cash flow statement. In 2014, I joined the financial club of my university. This student association was a forum, where students could share about finance. I was in charge of mentoring students in their investment decisions and study of macroeconomics.

During my Bachelor’s degree, I did an internship at XXXXXX, an accounting firm. I was in charge of computing the invoices on the Cegid software and performed banking reconciliations. In 2014, I did an internship at XXXXx where I monitored and analysed the financial markets.

Through all these projects, I was able to show my adaptation to stress and my self-control. I hope these qualifications and qualities would match your requirements.

Enclosed is a copy of my resume, which provides more details about my qualifications for the position.

I look forward to meeting you. I will contact you to confirm that you received my application and to answer any questions you may have. Thank you, in advance, for your consideration.
Thank you for your reply. I adjusted my cover letter.

I am currently looking for an internship in the financial sector. I saw your traineeship offer (junior financial analyst) on my school’s website (Yes, I found this offer on my university’s site). It is a great opportunity to apply for this position because it combines my fascination with currency trading and my career objective in a multinational corporation.

I studied three years towards a Bachelor’s degree in Economics and Finance within the ***********(France) where I studied financial analysis and accounting. I joined ***** Business School in September in Lille (France) and am developing my knowledge on corporate finance and strategy. I choose this school because of its reputation in finance.

This educational background is preparing me for a career in the financial sector. I have had an interest in finance for nine years. In my leisure time, I created a virtual mutual fund with the objective to grow it, maximizing the capital gain, on the foreign exchange and on the stock market (I don’t practice currency-hedging strategy but I know it). I learned to pick stocks on the basis of financial analysis using published corporate financial data from documents, such as the income statement, balance sheet or cash flow statement. In 2014, I joined the financial club of my university. This student association was a forum, where students could share about finance. I was in charge of mentoring students in their investment decisions and study of macroeconomics.

During my Bachelor’s degree, I did an internship at ********* which is an accounting firm. I was in charge of computing invoices on the Cegid software and performed banking reconciliations. In 2014, I did an internship at ******* where I monitored and analysed the financial markets.

Through all these projects, I was able to show my adaptation to stress and my self-control. I hope these qualifications and qualities would match your requirements.

Enclosed is a copy of my resume, which provides more details about my qualifications for the position.

I look forward to meeting you. I will contact you to confirm that you received my application and to answer any questions you may have. Thank you, in advance, for your consideration.
Enclosed is a copy of my resume I'm glad you added this. The basic purpose of a cover letter is to alert the reader that something is enclosed. Without that, it's not called a cover letter.

You have been given good feedback. Let me just add this.

I will contact you to confirm that you received my application and to answer any questions you may have.
I find this too 'aggressive'. I would ask politely for an interview, and leave it at that.

Clive
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