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Friends, I am now applying my phd program. The following letter is my phd cover letter. I am not sure if it is OK or not. And I am worrying about my writing English. So it will be very helpful if some friends could correct some mistakes in it. I will appreciate it very much. ^_^

Dear Prof. ***,

I am writing to express my great interest in applying for the PhD program in your research group.

In June xxx, I got the Master degree supervised by Prof. xxx in the xxx Department of xxx University, P. R. China.

During my academic years, I was doing the research on metallic films deposited on liquid substrates. The temperature dependence of formation mechanism and microstructures of the Ag films are studied. AFM research on the microstructures of the Ag and Au ramified aggregates as well as the up and down surfaces of the Au continuous films are presented. These laboratory experiences provide me the training and therefore skills as well as innovations in the experiment of condensed matter physics such as sample fabrication, microstructure analysis and so on.

After my graduation, I worked as an instructor at xxx University, P. R. China for three years. I taught courses on Solid State Physics, College Physics and College Physics Experiment. I gained further understanding of academic principles and experiences in experiment, project application and team-working.
Now I am keenly interested and highly motivated in the field of ***

Your program covers areas of research that match my interests, such as

As well as my good understanding of academic principles, I am a very motivated, hardworking and effective individual. Throughout my career, I obtained a good communication and organizational skills. It makes me confident that I will be suitable for your research team.

Now my curriculum vitae (CV) is enclosed in this email. If further information is needed, please feel free to let me know.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you earlier.

Yours sincerely,
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Comments  
  1. Please read this following thread: http://www.EnglishForward.com/English/SampleLetterMotivationApplication-LetterUniversity/xpzpl/po...
  2. Do you know the professor personally? Does he know you personally?
  3. How much time do you have to write your letter?
  4. Please provide spaces between your paragraphs. You might find it helpful to write some dummy character, and then paste your letter. You can erase the dummy characters afterward.
First thank you very much for your reply.

The article you wrote is very helpful for me.

  1. Do you know the professor personally? Does he know you personally?
    I Just know two professors personally. Should I first introduce myself in the first paragraph when the letter is sent to the professor who I don't konw personally? I am really not sure.
  2. How much time do you have to write your letter?


  3. I have not sent the letter yet. I think my time is enough.

    1. Please provide spaces between your paragraphs. You might find it helpful to write some dummy character, and then paste your letter. You can erase the dummy characters afterward.
      OK. Thanks. Yes, you are right. My writing English is not so good. So I think and find it is the best way to write aticles by putting ready sentences or characters together. Maybe the article is not so good, but it might be better than which I write just by myself.
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Hi,

In reading your letter, a few observations struck me.
  1. Too much discussion about your technical qualifications. This professor has your resume/CV and transcripts?
  2. You state the obvious. That is, you've included your CV.
  3. You don't discuss yourself with any supporting information.
I am a very motivated, hardworking and effective individual. Throughout my career, I obtained a good communication and organizational skills. It makes me confident that I will be suitable for your research team.

Maybe you are a unmotivated, lazy, and ineffective with poor communication and organization skills? There's nothing in this letter to suggest one way or the other.

Because of your degrees, I know you are smart. But the rest remains a mystery.

By combining a part-time job with my studies, I learned effective time management. Now that tells the person has to set priorities and juggled her time. I believe her her statement on time management.

If you are going to say something about yourself, you should provide some evidence.

Previously, I discussed leaving spaces in between your paragraphs. Do these steps:

1) Type "blah" into the top text box.

2) Paste your letter into the text box below "blah".

3) Make sure that you have spaces between your paragraphs.

4) Remove "blah" at the top of the textbox.

Good luck on your revision.
Thank you for your continuing help.

I made a small change to the letter which I will send to the professor who I don't konw personally. Maybe It is also less of evidence. But I want to make it as short as possible.

And in honest, I am wondering on what and how to write for my evidences.

Dear Prof. xxx,

It is a great honor to write to you. I’m xxx. In June 2006, I got the Master degree supervised by Prof. xxx in the Physics Department of xxx University, P. R. China.

I was exciting when I heard from your student xxx that there may have a doctoral position in your group, since I’m interested in low-dimensional materials, especially nonmaterials.

During my academic years, I was doing the research on metallic films deposited on liquid substrates. The temperature dependence of formation mechanism and microstructures of the Ag films are studied. AFM research on the microstructures of the Ag and Au ramified aggregates as well as the up and down surfaces of the Au continuous films are presented. These laboratory experiences provide me the training and therefore skills as well as innovations in the experiment of condensed matter physics such as sample fabrication, microstructure analysis and so on.

After my graduation, I worked as a lecturer at xxx University, P. R. China. I taught courses on Solid State Physics, College Physics and College Physics Experiment. There I gained further understanding of academic principles and experiences in experiment, project application and team-working.

I have built a strong background in condensed matter physics and your program covers areas of research that match my interests. In addition, diligence, persistence, cooperation and honesty are my intrinsic personalities. It makes me confident that I will be suitable for your research team.

Now a copy of my curriculum vitae (CV) is enclosed. If further information is needed, please feel free to let me know.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you earlier.

Yours sincerely,


Dear Prof. xxx, (colon)

It is a great honor to write to you. I’m xxx. In June 2006, I got the Master degree supervised by Prof. xxx in the Physics Department of xxx University, P. R. China. He can read your name at the bottom of the letter. You should tell him why you are writing.

I was exciting when I heard from your student xxx that there may have a doctoral position in your group, since I’m interested in low-dimensional materials, especially nonmaterials. Is that the reason why you are writing?

During my academic years, I was doing the research on metallic films deposited on liquid substrates. The temperature dependence of formation mechanism and microstructures of the Ag films are studied. AFM research on the microstructures of the Ag and Au ramified aggregates as well as the up and down surfaces of the Au continuous films are presented. These laboratory experiences provide me the training and therefore skills as well as innovations in the experiment of condensed matter physics such as sample fabrication, microstructure analysis and so on. (And so, etc. mean that the person writing has exhausted his or her mental abilities and has nothing more to offer. I never use and so on or etc., in formal communication.)

After my graduation, I worked as a lecturer at xxx University, P. R. China. I taught courses on Solid State Physics, College Physics and College Physics Experiment. There I gained further understanding of academic principles and experiences in experiment, project application and team-working. (So what does this mean?)

I have built a strong background in condensed matter physics and your program covers areas of research that match my interests. In addition, diligence, persistence, cooperation and honesty are my intrinsic personalities. It makes me confident that I will be suitable for your research team.

Now a copy of my curriculum vitae (CV) is enclosed. If further information is needed, please feel free to let me know. (If he will see your CV, there's no point on telling him it's there. He has eyes.)

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you earlier. Unless he has a time machine, he won't reply earlier. I think you meant, "soon".

Yours sincerely,

For some ideas, please read a recent thread in its entirety:

http://www.EnglishForward.com/English/MotivationLetter/prrwb/post.htm

It'll give you some ideas on content and structure. From your letter, I don't know much about you, other than you've studied and taught some courses. You want to provide the professor with a more complete picture. Also, be sure to tell him in first paragraph why you are writing.

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Thanks a lot. You are so nice and helpful. I appreciate what you did.

I added another paragraph in my letter. Would you please help me to check if it is necessary or not?

Dear Prof. ***:

It is a great honor to write to you. I’m writing to you in order to find a suitable doctoral position in your esteemed research group. In June 2006, I got the Master degree supervised by Prof. *** in the Physics Department of Zhejiang University, P. R. China.



During my academic years, I was doing the research on metallic films deposited on liquid substrates. The temperature dependence of formation mechanism and microstructures of the Ag films are studied. AFM research on the microstructures of the Ag and Au ramified aggregates as well as the up and down surfaces of the Au continuous films are presented. These laboratory experiences provide me the training and therefore skills as well as innovations in the experiment of condensed matter physics such as sample fabrication, microstructure analysis and low temperature properties measurement.

After my graduation, I worked as a lecturer at *** University, P. R. China, for three years. I taught courses on Solid State Physics, College Physics and College Physics Experiment. There I gained further understanding of academic principles and experiences in experiment.

In December 2009, I resigned from my job and arrived in Japan with my husband who is a post doctor in *** now. In order to fulfill my ambition of taking my research to a new level, I look forward to further my education as a doctoral student in your group.

I have built a strong background in condensed matter physics and your program covers areas of research that match my interests. In addition, diligence, persistence, cooperation and honesty are my intrinsic personalities. It makes me confident that I will be suitable for your research team.

If further information is needed, please feel free to let me know. Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Dear Prof. ***:

It is a great honor to write to you. I am (don't use contractions such "don't" or "I'm" when writing formal letters.) I’m writing to you in order to find a suitable doctoral position in your esteemed research group. In June 2006, I graduated with a got the Master degree supervised by Prof. *** in the Physics Department of Zhejiang University, P. R. China.



During my academic years, I was doing the performed research on metallic films deposited on liquid substrates. The temperature dependence of formation mechanism and microstructures of the Ag films are studied. AFM research on the microstructures of the Ag and Au ramified aggregates as well as the up and down surfaces of the Au continuous films are were presented. These laboratory experiences provided me with the training and therefore skills as well as innovations (training and skills are personal attributes....innovations are something tangible...hard to explain, but these shouldn't be combined as shown) in for peforming the experimention of condensed matter physics such as sample fabrication, microstructure analysis and low temperature properties measurement.

After my graduation, I worked as a lecturer at *** University, P. R. China, for three years., where I taught courses on Solid State Physics, College Physics and College Physics Experiment. There I gained further understanding of academic principles and practical experience experiences in experiment.

In December 2009, I resigned from my job and arrived in Japan with my husband who is a post doctor in *** now. In order to fulfill my ambition of becoming X or achieving Y of taking my research to a new level - might sound popular but it is awlful...yeah dude, I totally understand going to the next level), I look forward to further my education as a doctoral student in your group.

I have built a strong background in condensed matter physics and your program covers areas of research that matches my interests. In addition, diligence, persistence, cooperation and honesty are my intrinsic personalities. It makes me I am confident that I will be suitable for your research team. (The problem with your adjectives is that you provide no evidence. It is like saying you are blonde and blue eyed without showing a picture. Maybe you are, and maybe you are not.)

If further information is needed, please feel free to let me know. Should you want further information, please contact me. Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,
MountainHiker:

I really don't know how I can thank you enough. I will follow your advice to improve my letter.Emotion: smile
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