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Dear All,

I need to apply for an internship abroad. I started my cover letter but could you revise my cover letter ?

Dear Madame, Dear Sir,

I am currently studying in the first year of a Master at "name of my school/university". I am looking for an internship inside a financial department in a multinational company, as "name of the company" is, for a period of six months from January 2016. I would like to contribute to the financial development and sustainability of "name of the company".

I have a Bachelor’s degree in Economics and Finance from the "name of my school/university", in which I also had financial analysis and accounting as a part of my curriculum. I "name of my school/university" in September and I am learning corporate finance and strategies. I chose this school because of its reputation in finance and its corporate finance program.

I have a strong interest for figures and it brings me the curiosity in order to analyse my environment. I would like to join the next year the corporate finance program inside my school that is why I purpose you my services. Passionate by cooking, and especially baking, I am in the habit of using "name of the company"’s products because they always satisfy my friends. Moreover, I would like to progress in a worldwide environment and your company meets this expectation.

Enclosed is a copy of my resume, which provides more details about my qualifications for the position.

I look forward to meeting you. Thank you for taking the time to consider this application and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future. Thank you, in advance, for your consideration.

I thank you in advance for your reply.
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Dear Madame, Dear Sir,

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am currently studying in the first year of a Master a first-year master's student at "name of my school/university", and I am looking would like to apply for an internship inside a with the financial department in a multinational company, as "name of the company" is, for a period of six months from starting in January, 2016. I would like to contribute to the financial development and sustainability of "name of the company".

I have a bachelor’s degree in Economics and Finance from the "name of my school/university", in which I also had financial analysis and accounting as a part of my curriculum. I "name of my school/university" started my master's studies at XYZ in September, and I am learning corporate finance and strategies. I chose this school because of its reputation in finance and its highly regarded corporate finance program.

I have a strong interest aptitude for figures and it brings that makes me the curiosity in order curious to analyse my environment. Next year, I would like to join the next year the corporate finance program inside at my school, after hopefully completing the internship with your financial department. that is why I purpose you my services.

I have a passion ate by for cooking, and especially baking, and I am in the habit of love using "name of the company"’s products because of the excellent quality. they always satisfy my friends. Moreover, I would like to progress in a worldwide environment and your company meets this expectation.

I will endeavour to make the best of the internship if I am accepted by you, as I see this as a unique opportunity for me to gain valuable experience in a leading company with a multinational and multicultural environment.

Enclosed is a copy of my resume, which provides more details about my qualifications for the position.

I look forward to meeting you. Thank you for taking the time to consider this application, and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future. Thank you, in advance, for your consideration.

Yours faithfully,

ABCD
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Thank your for your reply. I added a new sentence in your correction but could you check it ? Thank you in advance for your reply.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am a first-year master’s student at "name of my school/university", and I would like to apply for an internship with the financial department in "name of the company" for a period of six months starting in January, 2016.

I have a bachelor’s degree in Economics and Finance from "name of my school/university", in which I also had financial analysis and accounting as a part of my curriculum. I started my master’s studies at "name of my school/university" in September, and I am learning corporate finance and strategies. I chose this school because of its reputation in finance and for its highly regarded corporate finance program.

I have a strong aptitude for figures that makes me curious to analyse my environment. Next year, I would like to join the corporate finance program at my school, after hopefully completing the internship with your financial department. I would like to work in the financial department because there are no routine and an intellectual stimulation.

I have a passion for cooking, and especially baking, and I love using "name of the company"’s products because of the excellent quality.

I will endeavour to make the best of the internship if I am accepted by you, as I see this as a unique opportunity for me to gain valuable experience in a leading company with a multinational and multicultural environment.

Thank you for taking the time to consider this application and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

Yours faithfully,
No, your new sentence doesn't make it better.
Ok thank you for your reply. But do you think I can add something in order to improve my cover letter ?
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
What is meaning of ABCD Emotion: smile)) i coud not understandEmotion: embarrassed last word should finish with "Yours faithfully" or not?