I need help editing my essay. ANy help will be great. I think it gets too boring and i'm looking to make it more interesting.
thanks
here it goes:

Stick in one hand and pebbles in my pocket, I was climbing the backyard mango tree on a sunny afternoon. For two hours I had been trying to break a mango from the tree but had little success. Helplessness swept over me but suddenly my hopes went high when I heard the familiar voice, "Viral! Viral! Where are you? Let's go home." It was my sister Purvi. She helped me get the mango. She then held my tiny hand and we walked home together.
“Didi”, as I called her, was someone I looked up to as both an older sister and a parent. She was ten years older than I, and had an admirably caring and supportive nature. She would make me laugh, correct my mistakes, walk me to school, and play with me. Her personality was like her actions: thoughtful and intelligent. Growing up with her, Didi taught me more than she knew.
The day I had feared soon arrived – my sisters wedding. It had arrived before I was ready for it. Only ten years old, I cried all afternoon that day, upset and unable to comprehend the fact that I would be without Didi. Three years later, another major change occurred in my life; my father announced, “We will be moving to America.” With these quick changes in my life, I soon learned to become independent.
In America, my other older sister, Shruti played a critical role in my life. Attending college for three years and working full time she was a busy woman. My parents weren’t yet able to drive; still Shruti encouraged me to take an active role in extra curricular activities. She would drive me to soccer practices and countless club meetings. To me, she was the epitome of hard work; I learned from her to struggle despite the obstacles to reach a goal. I also learned to make good use of my time, keeping myself busy with activities ranging from medical internships to summer courses. The summer after my freshmen year in high school, I eagerly wanted to take a course at college. Despite the lack of ride, I rode my bike 45-minute everyday in the scorching heat to get to class.
It would seem as if my parents took a back seat. But in reality they effectively looked after me making me an independent person. My parents made me responsible and made me think for myself instead of forcing me. My dad would say, “Experience is the best way to learn” and encouraged me to take risks. The first time my class played baseball in Physical Education, I accidentally ran with the bat held firmly in my hand, a funny yet, natural mistake since I was used to cricket. After the incident, I started to make a conscious effort to get accustomed to the new world and its cultural practices. In the midst of discovering my identity, I was helping my parents to reinvent theirs by becoming their cultural interpreter. On the road to this journey, every step was accompanied with motivational values taught by my parents: patience, gratitude, respect for elders, and worship of knowledge.
My family has been a great influence throughout my life. From childhood to present, my life has been a series of rite of passages that have taught me to become independent. I am the person today shaped by my family and I hope to use the values they have taught me to succeed throughout
HelloEmotion: smile

Your first sentence in your opening paragraph needs a dependent word marker to identify it as a dependent clause. Try, "With a stick in one hand..."

Also, watch your comma usage. There are several places where you do not put a comma before the conjunction "but".
Thanks... what else?