I want to know the meanings of marriages in different countries.......
1. Do you think a beautiful 18-year-old girl + a 81-year-old grandsire are good united? Do you think most of them are united only for love?
2. If you haven't found your Mr./Ms. Right, how would you deal with sexual temptation?
3. If you haven't found your Mr./Ms. Right, but you are growing older and older, it seems maybe you'll never meet the Right in your life...... Would you find a pass-by to marry with?
4. Will your parents help you to find a person to marry with?
5. Did you have sexual experience before get married?
6. Would you live with your parents after marriage?
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Well...I don't think that there is just one meaning of marriage in each country..different people from the same country might well answer your questions very differently. Also, marriage is a matter of choice for most people in the Uk, if you want to you get married, but it is perfectly acceptable to live together without marriage. But for what it's worth from someone in England:

1) No. He must have loads of money.

2) There is nothing unusual about having sex when you are not married. It is a matter of personal choice, I think most people would just have sex with Mr/Mrs not Right but cute! A lot of people are not looking for their permanent partner. Some people are in a relationship that may or may not result in marriage, it is common to have sex with a boyfriend/girlfriend. Some people have 'one night stands', which is sex with a stranger you meet that night.

3)I'd rather not be married (or live with someone/go out with someone) I don't really want to be with, I'd sooner have no-one than the wrong one!

4)Not really...they did once keep trying to get me to be 'friendlier' with one of my brother's friends, but I knew he was gay...they just couldn't accept that until they met his boyfriend! that was the only time though.

5)Yes. You got to try it before you buy it!

6)Definitely not, nor for long before marriage! I left home when I was 18, and that is not particularly unusual in the UK.
Me replying to this is probably pointless (I'm 14) But I still won't pass up a chance to voice my opinion.Emotion: smile But I guess I can be the first person the answer from the States

1. I think very few of them are united for love, mainly riches.
2. That's not been too much of a burden at this point...
3. No!
4. They'll probably wind up having a big influence on who I'll marry, since they're the type who like to know what I'm doing at every moment
5. I wouldn't, don't think it's right
6. If worst came to worst

Sarah[bah]
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Hi Nona, Sarah,

thank you for the reply. It seems the questions are interesting for you too.Emotion: smile

I know different people from the same country are quite different from each other. I wonder the opinion of a "typical" or "traditional" people of the country. I think i am a typical one have the typical opinion. How about you?

All of us agree that 18 girl + 81 grandsire only united for money, and we won't live with our parents after we grow up, but we will visit them.Emotion: smile

I agree the opinion of Sarah's on sex ------ sex is related with marriage, I'll be painful when I thought about my husband made love with another woman, so will he.

Nona, love is exclusive, why making love is not?

I don't agree the opion of yours on "no one than the wrong one". In my opinion, a suitable one is not good as a loved one, but better than no one. I'll be lonely if I live alone, and my friends and my colleagues and the "society" will think I am unnormal. if I can't find a husband before I grew too old, I may lose some of my friends, and I may meet unexpected difficuties when I seeking a new job.

"A suitable one" is the man whose health, habits, temper, wealth and background is equal to you, but maybe you would never fall love with him. To find a suitable one is much easier than to find the true love.

On the other hand, most chinese are not as wealthy as european or american, we must be united to make a money to buy our house and feed a child. Emotion: stick out tongue

By the way, Nona, Sarah, how do you think about the opinions of your parents and the "society"? How do they think about your sex before marriage (if it occurs) and when to be marriaged? Would they agree to "try it before you buy it"? Would the opinions of theirs influnce your mood or life?

Most our Chinese parents will agree to "check it carefully before you buy it", but they only agree to check the health, habits, temper, wealth, background..... they don't care about sexual ability. Emotion: stick out tongue And they are firmly opposed to have sex with someone you haven't decided to married with.
I think the opinions of my parents would influence my decisions much more so than those of society's. They wouldn't agree with "try it before you buy it", simply because that's just what we believe. Yes, if my parents absolutely hated my husband, I would find it hard to be as happy as I would be otherwise.

-Sarah[bah]
Hi, I think this is an interesting topic so I thought I'd give you my opinion. I'm an Australian, but I am only 15 so I'm not exactly going to get married soonEmotion: wink However, I believe I will have the same values regardless of my age.

I agree that all people from the same country might not necessarily have the same views, girls from my school have sexual relationships already while others would never until they are married. I'll just talk about my attitudes to your question though.

1. I don't think that this is acceptable as the 81 year old is reaching the end of his life while the 18 year old is just beginning on her life journey. I am not opposed to age differences, but one that extreme is not reasonable. I would have to agree that the girl is probably only interested in material things...I suppose there could be exceptions though.

2. I personally wouldn't sleep with anyone that wasn't right, except I don't think you need to be married for them to be right. I believe that there should be the closeness and love of a marriage before engaging in relations, so I suppose I would just have to live with my temptation.Emotion: smile

3. I would NEVER settle for second best. A lot of people around me think you need to be married to be happy, but I disagree. I use the same principle for choosing my friends. At various points in my life I have had no friends because I left the ones that weren't right for me. My mother and father are divorced aand my mother and I alot happier now we are alone. Because mother is a bussinesswoman so we stil wealthy, but this would not be true if we were in other countries.

4. No. My grandma tries but I make my own choicesEmotion: wink Most people's parents are protective of their children, especially daughters, and 'help' them find the right ones.

5. Not yet....bu I probably will. I would have to be in a long termrelationship of a few years though so the idea of marriage wouldn't be strange.

6. No, because I would be at least 30 and fully capable of supporting myself.

Phew, I wrote alot!Emotion: smile
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Is it necessary to even get married?
Hi Jumaji,

Your question about whether my parents would agree with my suggestion to 'try it before you buy it' brings up a good point. There are a lot of different opinions and older people do tend to be more conservative about these things, but I do not think many people are virgins when they marry in the UK. And indeed a lot of people live together without marriage at all. It is quite normal and acceptable here. I think that most people who wish to remain virgins before marriage do so from their religious beliefs and of course I respect that.

In my parents' day it was a bit different, but still, a lot went on but people were just quieter about it! Plenty of shotgun weddings (girl pregnant) during the second world war! My parents knew I was sleeping with my husband before we married but preferred to pretend they didn't know (mind you I was only 19 when I got married so perhaps that was understandable) but now I'm divorced and they don't expect me to live like a nun, I've been seeing my boyfriend for nearly 3 years and we virtually live together and they are fine with that. They like him, whereas they never really liked my husband but kept quiet until we split up then boy did they say what they thought!

I would say it is mainly people with strong religious views and some (but not all) people over perhaps 70 years old now, who still think everyone should stay a virgin.

Put it this way, my 17 year old son has his 18 year old girlfriend to stay in his room, and likewise at her house, and as parents all we are worried about is that they use good birth control and practise safe sex to avoid STDs. Does this make us terrible parents or just realistic ones?
Hi, I'm from the south of Italy, Naples, and I'm 26, and my boyfriend is 38, as my parents.

I'd like to answer this nice questions.

1. Do you think a beautiful 18-year-old girl + a 81-year-old grandsire are good united? Do you think most of them are united only for love?

Absolutely not! It would be just a fact of money (for the girl) or sex (for the man)!!

My boyfriend and me have 12 years difference but, as I seem older and he seems to be maximum 30, both physically and mentally, the difference is not a problem at all. On the contrary, sometimes he seems to be younger than me!!!

2. If you haven't found your Mr./Ms. Right, how would you deal with sexual temptation?

First, I have to say that u don't always know if u've found the Mr/Mrs Right. Sometimes, it happens that u believe to have found him/her but it's not so easy. Anyway, sex is, for me, always attached with feelings: there must be something special between two persons when they make love, also if it's not LOVE, but just attraction. Lots of relationship begin in this way and they become love. There's not a rule in love. So it's not possible to say "I'll never love someone without sex" rather then "I'll neve make sex without love".

3. If you haven't found your Mr./Ms. Right, but you are growing older and older, it seems maybe you'll never meet the Right in your life...... Would you find a pass-by to marry with?

Maybe, this may happen but I think there are two cases:

1) u know u will marry somebody u don't really love: in this case, one day, not so far, u'll repent and u'll find out u have thrown away your life;

2) u want to believe u really love him/her: one day, u'll find out it's not worth to lose your life just to try to make somebody else happy living with him/her and desiring to be elsewhere

4. Will your parents help you to find a person to marry with?

Never!!!!!!!!!!!

5. Did you have sexual experience before get married?

Yes, I did. But it's not such a particular thing to talk about it. I mean, is this so particular? I read and know about 15 girls who are already mothers!!! I'm not saying I agree with this 'cause sex is such an important thing that shoud be done when u really want it and I don't know if a 15 girl/boy really understand its importance.

6. Would you live with your parents after marriage?

Never!!! Here, in my city, it's very difficult to find a job, in Italy itself, and buy a house is the most important thing for a just-married couple. Infact, u first buy a house and then u get married, in general. That's why, when a couple is in particular conditions (exemple, they have a baby before get married), it may happen that they live with their parents, but most of time, it's a temporary situation.

Regards.
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