Okay. Spoilers, I guess.
Question one:
You are the curator of the Louvre and you have just been shot and seriously wounded by an albino monk.
You would then:A) Scrawl on the floor in invisible ink a row of fibonacci numbers, an anagram the letters of which, when re-arranged spell out, "Da Vinci Mona Lisa, then go to the Mona Lisa and scrawl on it (also in invisible ink) So dark the con of Man which is also an anagram for Madonna of the Rocks, another Da Vinci painting, behind which you then hide your secret Priory of Sion bank vault key, then return to the place where you scrawled the original message, take off all your clothes, draw a big circle on the floor in your blood, then draw a pentacle on your chest in your blood, then lie down in the middle of the circle such that your genitals are concealed from view by a bright beam of light, spread out your arms and legs so that you resemble another Da Vinci drawings and then die.
Or
B) Call for an ambulance.
Question Two:
You are a member of the Catholic church and have just discovered that Jesus actually married Mary Magdalene and after the Crucifixion she went off to France (France?) where she gave birth to Jesus's daughter, thus presumably indicating that Jesus wasn't really divine because, as we all know, God can't impregnate a mortal woman (or can he?) and that since that time a mysterious secret society has been protecting the blood line of Christ since that time.
You would then:
A) Form your own secret society within the Church devoted to tracking down and killing the members of that other secret society, killing all of those Jesus descendants, and ruthless suppressing the secret at all costs and irrespective of the risk.
Or
B) You just wouldn't believe it and would simply go on about your business realizing, of course, that even if, by some incredibly remote twist of fate it were possible to connect somebody living today back to the literal Mary of Magdalene how in the world would anybody be able to make the leap from her to Jesus? Because somebody hinted at it in a rejected book of the Bible?
Question Three:
You are an incredibly wealthy Holy Grail expert who has come to believe that the Holy Grail actually represents the living blood line of Christ.
You would
A) Secretly infiltrate the evil Secret Catholic society, rising to one of the top Secret Catholic Society spots, thus using them to track down the actual location of the Grail i.e., the living descendant of Jesus, klling lots of nuns and curators and other innocent people along the way, so that, once the possessor of the bloodline was found, you could then convince him/her to reveal the truth so that everybody would stop being a Christian (and also presumably keeping him/her from getting killed by the Evil Catholics whom you were helping).
Or
B) You would get a life.
How did you do?
If you answered the questions above "A" then you must be a fan of the Da Vinci Code.
If you answered "B" then you must think this thing is just about the most enormously stupid piece of ***, not to mention the most enormous testament to the general lack of both intelligence and taste of the reading/viewing public since "In Search of Noah's Ark" hit the theatres.
NMS
Question one:
You are the curator of the Louvre and you have just been shot and seriously wounded by an albino monk.
You would then:A) Scrawl on the floor in invisible ink a row of fibonacci numbers, an anagram the letters of which, when re-arranged spell out, "Da Vinci Mona Lisa, then go to the Mona Lisa and scrawl on it (also in invisible ink) So dark the con of Man which is also an anagram for Madonna of the Rocks, another Da Vinci painting, behind which you then hide your secret Priory of Sion bank vault key, then return to the place where you scrawled the original message, take off all your clothes, draw a big circle on the floor in your blood, then draw a pentacle on your chest in your blood, then lie down in the middle of the circle such that your genitals are concealed from view by a bright beam of light, spread out your arms and legs so that you resemble another Da Vinci drawings and then die.
Or
B) Call for an ambulance.
Question Two:
You are a member of the Catholic church and have just discovered that Jesus actually married Mary Magdalene and after the Crucifixion she went off to France (France?) where she gave birth to Jesus's daughter, thus presumably indicating that Jesus wasn't really divine because, as we all know, God can't impregnate a mortal woman (or can he?) and that since that time a mysterious secret society has been protecting the blood line of Christ since that time.
You would then:
A) Form your own secret society within the Church devoted to tracking down and killing the members of that other secret society, killing all of those Jesus descendants, and ruthless suppressing the secret at all costs and irrespective of the risk.
Or
B) You just wouldn't believe it and would simply go on about your business realizing, of course, that even if, by some incredibly remote twist of fate it were possible to connect somebody living today back to the literal Mary of Magdalene how in the world would anybody be able to make the leap from her to Jesus? Because somebody hinted at it in a rejected book of the Bible?
Question Three:
You are an incredibly wealthy Holy Grail expert who has come to believe that the Holy Grail actually represents the living blood line of Christ.
You would
A) Secretly infiltrate the evil Secret Catholic society, rising to one of the top Secret Catholic Society spots, thus using them to track down the actual location of the Grail i.e., the living descendant of Jesus, klling lots of nuns and curators and other innocent people along the way, so that, once the possessor of the bloodline was found, you could then convince him/her to reveal the truth so that everybody would stop being a Christian (and also presumably keeping him/her from getting killed by the Evil Catholics whom you were helping).
Or
B) You would get a life.
How did you do?
If you answered the questions above "A" then you must be a fan of the Da Vinci Code.
If you answered "B" then you must think this thing is just about the most enormously stupid piece of ***, not to mention the most enormous testament to the general lack of both intelligence and taste of the reading/viewing public since "In Search of Noah's Ark" hit the theatres.
NMS
@reader1.panix.com:
Yeah, "B" makes more sense, but as a book or movie, it's downright boring! )
cd
The difference between immorality and immortality is "T". I like Earl Grey.
If you answered the questions above "A" then you must be a fan of the Da Vinci Code. If ... general lack of both intelligence and taste of the reading/viewing public since "In Search of Noah's Ark" hit the theatres.
Yeah, "B" makes more sense, but as a book or movie, it's downright boring! )
cd
The difference between immorality and immortality is "T". I like Earl Grey.
Okay. Spoilers, I guess. Question one: You are the curator of the Louvre and you have just been shot and ... lack of both intelligence and taste of the reading/viewing public since "In Search of Noah's Ark" hit the theatres. NMS
I answered "Akiva wrote it, Ron made it, must be good."
But thanks for the laughs. The movie was a good ride even at 2.5 hours.
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a
a
a
Beach Book, "nuf said"
a
a
Beach Book, "nuf said"
If you answered "B" then you must think this thing is just about the most enormously stupid piece of ... general lack of both intelligence and taste of the reading/viewing public since "In Search of Noah's Ark" hit the theatres.
$77 million on the opening weekend.
What do you expect from a nation whose citizens spend good money touring the European sites mentioned in Brown's book and feel ripped-off when they're not as described?
This should be a lesson to all serious screenwriters. "If you REALLY want to succeed in America, get a lobotomy."
(Skippy thought it was excellent. See what I mean?)
Okay. Spoilers, I guess. Question one: You are the curator of the Louvre and you have just been shot and ... legs so that you resemble another Da Vinci drawings and then die. Or B) Call for an ambulance.
I know it's just a movie/supermarket novel and I should sit back and enjoy the ride, but questions like these were pounding in my head the whole time. I sat there imagining the first meeting of the secret society:
"Okay, so we need to keep this thing a secret, so we'll hide the body here."
"Wait, what if we forget where it is?"
"Oh, I don't know, I guess we'll create this poem which cryptically reveals the location."
"What if we forget the poem?"
"We'll write it down."
"What if some brilliant person reads the poem and is able to decipher what it means?"
"Oh, we'll put it in a box guarded by a password."
"What if we forget the password?"
"We'll have an elaborate series of clues that lead to the password."
"What if we forget where the clues are?"
This continues for another two or three hours, ending with:
"What if, in a thousand years or so, one of our members is hanging around the Louvre and gets chased and shot down by an evil albino monk?"
"Hide the key, write down a bunch of anagrams and drawings that lead to it and illustrate its purpose (bonus points for tying in Da Vinci), and find the one person in the universe who will be able to make all these connections. Any questions?"
"No, I think that pretty much covers it. Thanks."
Stephen Mack
"Nobody's smart enough to be wrong all the time." -Ken Wilber
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writing issue, that is!
It's very common for writers to construct elaborate, creaky plots instead of sitting down and asking "what's the most likely response from this person at this point." Because it's HARD WORK to make the most likely response interesting, fresh, surprising...
Misdirection does not = outlandish..
I fear having to read dozens of impossible-to-believe stories in scripts in the coming two years because the DaVinci Code did it.
there's a great docu on the History channel debunking the source material for Holy Blood Holy Grail. it's all a simple con by a specific person, and you can't shake that into people's head..
Mysti
It's very common for writers to construct elaborate, creaky plots instead of sitting down and asking "what's the most likely response from this person at this point." Because it's HARD WORK to make the most likely response interesting, fresh, surprising...
Misdirection does not = outlandish..
I fear having to read dozens of impossible-to-believe stories in scripts in the coming two years because the DaVinci Code did it.
there's a great docu on the History channel debunking the source material for Holy Blood Holy Grail. it's all a simple con by a specific person, and you can't shake that into people's head..
Mysti
Okay. Spoilers, I guess. Question one: You are the curator ... and then die. Or B) Call for an ambulance.
I know it's just a movie/supermarket novel and I should sit back and enjoy the ride, but questions like these ... who will be able to make all these connections. Any questions?" "No, I think that pretty much covers it. Thanks."
What really fascinates me about a lot of posts on this is that as writers you don't comments on the real facts:
- Book sold over 40 million copies so far
- Movie made around $250 million opening weekend worldwide
Is the story true? Not much of it probably is.
But what happened to your writing ambition? I'm thinking hmm... what could I do to get that kind of response.
It's fine for bitter idiots like Dale/Paulo to write nasty diatribes about "Skippy" and his other self-imposed demons, but what about the fact of how much money and readers Dan Brown has accumulated?
there's a great docu on the History channel debunking the source material for Holy Blood Holy Grail. it's all a simple con by a specific person, and you can't shake that into people's head..
Saw it. The apropos part of it is, once they ask the right people, it's no longer even a mystery. They had the skill to tell that the documents were forged, and had known about it for a long time.
Blair
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