I couldn't make up my mind, where to post it - to the "song writing..." forum, or here. Then I thought that still it was a poetic translation, not a new song, and it suited here betterEmotion: smile

The song is originally in German, it's Rammstein's composition, and I especially like this song because of its music and words...

The reason why I submit this translation now is that I'm not sure, whether it sounds consistent in English. I mean, whether it uses the right words in the right places etc. Just read it as if it were a usual poetic piece and say, if you'll find some slips there, a wrong preposition, strange tense form or something of this kindEmotion: smile
And if here we have some German-speaking people, I could submit the original for them to compare.
-----------------------------------

Amour, Amour

Love is a savage brute,
It breathes you; it looks for you,
It makes its nests in broken hearts
and by the light of candles, kissing, hunts…
strongly sucking on your lips,
It’s fiercely digging through you ribs.

Falling down like gentle snow,
First it is hot, then cold,
And lastly, causes throe

Amour, amour,
All people want for sure
To tame you
Amour, amour,
It ends
With getting caught between your fangs

Love is a savage brute,
It bites, and claws, and tramples me under foot,
Tightly holds with thousands hands
Dragging me into its love nest,
It gobbles me down with skin and hair,
As time goes by, it throws me out again.

Falling down like gentle snow,
First it is hot, then cold,
And lastly, causes throe

Amour, amour,
All people want for sure
To tame you
Amour, amour,
It ends
With getting caught between your fangs

Love is a savage brute,
It breathes you; it looks for you,
It makes its nests in broken hearts
and by the light of candles, kissing, hunts…
It gobbles me down with skin and hair,
As time goes by, it throws me out again

Falling down like gentle snow,
First it is hot, then cold,
And lastly, causes throe

Amour, amour,
All people want for sure
To tame you
Amour, amour,
It ends
With getting caught between your fangs

Love is a savage brute,
Into its trap you get allured.
It stares into your eyes, and lured
You’re getting, when you meet its look.

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Hello Fairlady

Rammstein sure do have a way with wordsEmotion: smile I have alway wondered what their lyrics meant.

Amerika is a great songEmotion: smile

Not everybody's cup of tea, as they say in England.

Possible susggestions: Into its trap you are allured.

lured by its staring eyes. Causes throe, should probably "courses through" perhaps?

Apparently Alpha Female wolves are just big puppy dogsEmotion: smile
Thanks for reviewing it!

I agree with your suggestions. As for the word "throe" ( it should be throe - it means pain)- I'm not sure about the word, I found it in a dictionary (http://www.cogsci.princeton.edu/cgi-bin/webwn2.0?stage=1&word=throe) - but I suppose it's archaic and usually used in Plural rather than in Singular. I took it for I didn't have another rhyme meaning "causing pain" (that's what the original says). Could you suggest something else to replace it? I don't like this "throe" either, its sounding is similar to the word with the unpleasant meaning...

And who are Alpha Female wolvesEmotion: surprise ?
Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
Noone in particular. Apparently there are is a pack of North Americam wolves in the UK, and I ahve heard very pleasent things about themEmotion: smile I am afraid I can't help with the word throe, as an alternative to pain. Sometimes archaic words do fit.

When I read the Rammstein lyrics it reminded me of lyrics by Suzanne Vega - a song called undertow. It may compliment and even help to understand the lyrics above.

Undertow - Suzanne Vega

I believe right now if I could
I would swallow you whole
I would leave only bones and teeth
We could see what was underneath
And you would be free then

Once I thought only tears could make us free
Salt wearing down to the bone
Like sand against the stone
Against the shoreline

I am friend to the undertow
I take you in, I don't let go
And now I have you

I wanted to learn all the secrets
From the edge of a knife
From the point of a needle
From a diamond
From a bullet in flight
I would be free then

I am friend to the undertow
I take you in, I don't let go
And now I have you

I wanted to see how it would feel
To be that sleek
And instead I find this hunger's
Made me weak

I believe right now if I could
I would swallow you whole
I would leave only bones and teeth
We could see what was underneath
And you would be free then

I am friend to the undertow
I take you in, I don't let go
And now I have you

I am friend to the undertow
I take you in, I don't let go
And now I have you
A nice song! I like this mood... I don't know how to define it [:^)]
But I'm sure you understand me Emotion: wink