+0
Dear Sir/Madam,
I would like to express my interest in the PhD position on "fast Bayesian sampling methods for applications in physics" in the Faculty of Electrical Engineering, Mathematics and Computer Science, at AB University.

I am particularly eager to apply for a PhD in Bayesian sampling methods for applications in physics because doing research in this field is very suitable for my academic background. While studying for my BA in mathematics at the +++ University in [country], I took courses in probability and statistics and became familiar with the concepts of probability. Thereafter, I was admitted to the +++ University, [sity] branch for my MSc, and I chose to do it in Applied Mathematics- Numerical Analysis. My master's thesis, under the supervision of Dr. Rab, was on "Using mathematical techniques for solving Fokker-Planck equations" which gave me a deeper knowledge of probability theory and aroused my interest in it. Furthermore, I have always been interested in interdisciplinary activities and researching solutions to real-world problems and Solving problems in physics by using mathematical algorithms appeals to me.


To add the real share of knowledge in probability theory, and Bayesian statistics, and to add something to what I have already experienced in this field, I now wish to advance my academic career with PhD in fast Bayesian statistics, and I cannot imagine a better place to study in this field than the AB University, With your department specializing brings together three disciplines - electrical engineering, mathematics and computer science. this is the ideal place to pursue a PhD.
I am confident that I can complete the research project, because I have already studied for four months and gained experience in this field, and in my master's project related to probability theory and stochastic processes, I gained a thorough understanding of it. I recognise the importance of studying this field. I believe that these skills and experience will allow me to effectively complete a larger-scale project such as a PhD.
After completing the PhD, I intend to pursue a postdoc in Bayesian statistics. With a lifelong interest in probability theory, I am keen to continue my education in this area and to perform my own research in order to help extend the knowledge in this field.
Thank you so much for considering my application.

Yours faithfully,

Mari Mi

‌‌. ‌‌

+0

I would like to express my interest in the PhD position on "fast Bayesian sampling methods for applications in physics" in the Faculty of Electrical Engineering, Mathematics and Computer Science, at AB University.

I am particularly eager to apply for a PhD (The first sentence indicates that this is a job. It is not a degree program. In this sentence, you are applying to study as a candidate for a PhD. It is confusing. ) in Bayesian sampling methods for applications in physics (Do not repeat this again. Use a pronoun.) because doing research in this field is very suitable for my academic background. (That is not very compelling. ) While studying for my BA in mathematics at the +++ University in [country], I took courses in probability and statistics and became familiar with the concepts of probability. (It means that you learned a little about it, not much.) Thereafter, I was admitted to the +++ University, [sity] branch for my MSc, and I chose to do it in Applied Mathematics- Numerical Analysis. My master's thesis, under the supervision of Dr. Rab, was on "Using mathematical techniques for solving Fokker-Planck equations" which gave me a deeper knowledge of probability theory and aroused my interest in it. Furthermore, I have always been interested in interdisciplinary activities and researching solutions to real-world problems and Solving (solving is not a proper adjective.) problems in physics by using mathematical algorithms appeals to me.


To add the real share of knowledge in probability theory, and Bayesian statistics, and to add something to what I have already experienced in this field, I now wish to advance my academic career with a PhD in fast Bayesian statistics, (Are you sure this is the name of a discipline?) and I cannot imagine a better place to study in this field than the AB University, (wrong punctuation) With your department specializing brings together (ungrammatical - poor English) three disciplines - electrical engineering, mathematics and computer science. this (wrong punctuation) is the ideal place to pursue a PhD. (Again, a position is a job with a salary. Can you be clearer on exactly what you are applying for?)


I am confident that I can complete the research project, (Are you the only one who will be working on this project? ) because I have already studied for four months and gained experience in this field, and in my master's project related to probability theory and stochastic processes, I gained a thorough understanding of it. (This is the third time you repeat this, without giving much evidence of your depth of knowledge. Just claiming something does not convince the reader.) I recognise the importance of studying this field. I believe that these skills and experience will allow me to effectively complete a larger-scale project such as a PhD.
After completing the PhD, I intend to pursue a postdoc in Bayesian statistics. With a lifelong interest in probability theory, I am keen to continue my education in this area and to perform my own research in order to help extend the knowledge in this field.
Thank you so much for considering my application.

Yours faithfully,

Mari Mi

Comments  
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

Dear teacher,

thank you for correcting my letter. I changed the parts you specified. I would like to know your opinion about this.

Thank you so much in advance.

---------------------------------------------



Dear Sir/Madam,
I would like to express my interest in the PhD position on "fast Bayesian sampling methods for applications in physics" in the Faculty of Electrical Engineering, Mathematics and Computer Science, at AB University.

I am particularly eager to do project in Bayesian statistics for applications in physics because I want to extend and expand the science I have acquired in the field of Statistics and probability. While studying for my BA in mathematics at the +++ University in [country], I took courses in probability and statistics and learned some fundamental concepts. Thereafter, I was admitted to the +++ University, [sity] branch for my MSc, and I chose to do it in Applied Mathematics- Numerical Analysis. My master's thesis, under the supervision of Dr. Rab, was on "Using mathematical techniques for solving Fokker-Planck equations" which gave me a deeper knowledge of probability theory and aroused my interest in it. By solving the Fokker- Planck equation, a probability distribution function is obtained. Extracting and solving this equation reqires knowledge in the field of stochastic processes and probability theory, and in some cases requires knowledge of continuous Markov process, which is a prerequisite for the Markov Chain Mont Carlo (MCMC) methods. MCMC methods are primarily used to calculate the numerical approximation of multidimensional integrals and since It have passed the course of " Numerical solution of integral equations" with a perfect grade, I have unfficient knowledge in this field, which is very helpful for MCMC methods. Furthermore, I have always been interested in interdisciplinary activities and researching solutions to real-world problems and problems in physics by using mathematical algorithms appeals to me.


To add the real share of knowledge in probability theory, and Bayesian statistics, and to add something to what I have already experienced in this field, I really want to do research at the doctoral level in Bayesian statistics.

I now wish to advance my academic career with a PhD in this area, and I cannot imagine a better place to study than the AB University. And since, the Faculty of Electrical Engineering, Mathematics and Computer Science (EEMCS) brings together three disciplines - electrical engineering, mathematics and computer science. Combined, they reinforce each other and are the driving force behind the technology we use in our daily lives, in my opinion, it is the ideal place to do interdisciplinary projects.


I am confident that I can do the research project successfully, because I have already studied for four months and gained experience in this field, and in my master's project related to probability theory and stochastic processes. I recognise the importance of studying this field. I believe that these skills and experience will allow me to effectively complete a larger-scale project such as a PhD.
After completing the PhD, I intend to pursue a postdoc in Bayesian statistics. With a lifelong interest in probability theory, I am keen to continue my education in this area and to perform my own research in order to help extend the knowledge in this field.
Thank you so much for considering my application.

Yours faithfully,

Mari Mi

It is much better, but still needs improvement. For example (I just made most of this stuff up, but it may give you an idea of how to make this writing (which is rather dull and mundane) a little more compelling.) Tighten up the text, which means to remove all the redundant and repetitive parts.


Dear Sir/Madam,
I would like to express my interest in the PhD position on "fast Bayesian sampling methods for applications in physics" in the Faculty of Electrical Engineering, Mathematics and Computer Science, at AB University.

I am particularly eager to contribute to this project do project in Bayesian statistics for applications in physics because it perfectly aligns with my plans to continue my education and pursue a career in the general area of probability and statistics. In particular, my research would be developing methods which take advantage of cutting-edge technologies such as parallel quantum computing, the Internet of Things, and extremely large distributed databases. want to extend and expand the science I have acquired in the field of Statistics and probability. While studying for my BA in mathematics at the +++ University in [country], I took courses in probability and statistics and learned some fundamental concepts. Thereafter, I was admitted to the +++ University, [sity] branch for my MSc, and I chose to do it in Applied Mathematics- Numerical Analysis. My master's thesis, under the supervision of Dr. Rab, was on "Using mathematical techniques for solving Fokker-Planck equations" which gave me a deeper knowledge of probability theory and aroused my interest in it. By solving the Fokker- Planck equation, a probability distribution function is obtained. Extracting and solving this equation reqires knowledge in the field of stochastic processes and probability theory, and in some cases requires knowledge of continuous Markov processes, which is a prerequisite for the Markov Chain Mont Carlo (MCMC) methods. MCMC methods are primarily used to calculate the numerical approximation of multidimensional integrals and (This clause does not logically fit the sentence.) since It have passed the course of " Numerical solution of integral equations" with a perfect grade, I have unfficient knowledge in this field, which is very helpful for MCMC methods. Furthermore, I have always been interested in interdisciplinary activities and researching solutions to real-world problems and problems in physics by using mathematical algorithms appeals to me.


To add the real share of knowledge in probability theory, and Bayesian statistics, and to add something to what I have already experienced in this field, I really want to do research at the doctoral level in Bayesian statistics.

I now wish to advance my academic career with a PhD in this area, (You have already made your case. Don't repeat it.) and I cannot imagine a better place to study than the AB University. And since, the Faculty of Electrical Engineering, Mathematics and Computer Science (EEMCS) brings together three disciplines - electrical engineering, mathematics and computer science. (Fragment, not a sentence. Besides, this combination is not unusual at all.) Combined, they reinforce each other and are the driving force behind the technology we use in our daily lives, (comma splice error) in my opinion, it is the ideal place to do interdisciplinary projects.

...

Dear teacher, Thank you I really appreciate your help. I rewrote some parts of my letters.

I would be grateful if you could check this letter again.

________________________________________


Dear Sir/Madam,

I would like to express my interest in the PhD position on "fast Bayesian sampling methods for applications in physics" in the Faculty of Electrical Engineering, Mathematics and Computer Science, at AB University.

I am particularly eager to contribute to this project because it perfectly aligns with my plans to continue my education and pursue a career in the area of probabilities and statistics. In particular, my research would be developing new sampling methods which make possible to quickly calculate challenging Bayesian perspective. While studying for my BA in mathematics at the +++ University in [country], I took courses in statistics probabilities (I, II) and learned fundamental concepts. Thereafter, I was admitted to the +++ University, [sity] branch for my MSc, in Applied Mathematics- Numerical Analysis. My master's thesis, under the supervision of Dr. Rab, was on "Using mathematical techniques for solving Fokker-Planck equations" which gave me a deeper knowledge of probability theory. By solving the Fokker- Planck equation, a probability distribution function is obtained. Extracting and solving this equation requires knowledge of stochastic processes and probability theory, and in some cases requires knowledge of continuous Markov processes, which is a prerequisite for the Markov Chain Mont Carlo (MCMC) methods. On the other hand, MCMC methods are primarily used to calculate the numerical approximation of multi-dimensional integrals, which occur in Bayesian statistics and computational physics, etc. Hence, course like "Numerical solution for integral equations" with a perfect grade, give me more efficient knowledge in this field, which is very helpful for MCMC methods. Furthermore, I have always been interested in interdisciplinary activities and researching solutions to real-world problems and problems in physics by using mathematical algorithms be appeals to me.
I now wish to advance my academic career in the international environment with a and I cannot imagine a better be place to study than the AB University with the Faculty of Electrical Engineering, Mathematics and Computer Science ,three disciplines, Combined, they reinforce each other and are the driving force behind the technology we use in our daily lives. In my opinion, it is the ideal place to do interdisciplinary projects.

Considering the content of the master's thesis, combined with knowledge I have stocked from my previous studies, I am confident that I can do the research project successfully. I recognise the importance of studying this field. I believe that these skills and experience will allow me to effectively complete a larger-scale project such as a PhD.

After completing the PhD, I intend to pursue a postdoc in Bayesian statistics. With a lifelong interest in statistics and probabilities and probability theory, I am keen to continue my education in this area and to perform my own research in order to help extend the knowledge in this field. Thank you so much for considering my application.

Yours faithfully,

Mari Mi
Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.