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Recently,scientists and health authorities around the world have been working round the clock to halt the spread of the deadly novel coronavirus emerging in Wuhan,China in December,which has posed a risk to multiple countries by dint of its ability to infect rapidly through respiratory system.Besides taking vigorous action to contain the pandemic, a large number of governments have recommended their residents to take preventive measures rather than fully ride on the treatment provided by health care service.Hence,personally speaking, I am whole-heartedly in agreement with the viewpoint that people benefit more from the before hand prevention than the finding of cure, which lies in two folds.

First and foremost,it is manifest that every single citizen will be the beneficiaries when taking medical precautions,which,yields not only a reduced clinical expenditure but a lower risk of contracting life-threatening diseases.Explicitly,following local health’s guidelines closely and healthy life style, ones are equipped themselves with physical strength along with sufficient basic knowledge about medicine and health care.By this way, not only is the chance of infecting contagious diseases diminished but the immune system is also greatly enhanced.Besides,it goes without saying that prevention hinders inhabitants from catching prevalent ailments,which in turn,help them to reduce medical expenses and enables them to utilize that sum of money for other necessary purposes such as bills,taxes and so on.

Besides,it is an irrefutable fact that the states enjoy arrays of perks when taking precautionary measures against the epidemic with regard to minimized medical expenses and deter wide-scale epidemic.To clarify, there is no doubt that effective prevention is, in the long run, less exorbitant than treatment fees.Hence,allocating funds for raising public awareness of healthcare will definitely induce fewer citizen infecting diseases, thus diminishing the budgets expended on hospitalization and other medical costs.Apparently, this will help alleviate the government's burden of medical care and especially finance with under developed countries.Furthermore,there is no denying that taking preventive measures to bring the pandemic under control proves to be effective in the battle against Covid-19.To illustrate,Viet Nam has kept case numbers relatively low despite its proximity to mainland China with 237 confirmed cases,85 recoveries and 0 deaths.The government's response to the outbreak has received acclaim for its effectiveness and transparency, as well as its low-cost model, in contrast to China,even
to Europe and America where administrators and individuals first ignored the epidemic and now they seem powerless to curb the circulation of the novel coronavirus.
In conclusion,from what mentioned above,I am of the opinion that taking health precautions is more advantageous than investing in the medical treatment.

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You have many spacing errors. Always put a space after a punctuation mark. It is difficult to comment on other problems because when you have a spacing error, there is another error at the same place.

Also, you did not address the topic well. "Prevention is better than cure" is when both options (prevention and cure) are available. This is not the case for the current pandemic. There is no cure.

I suggest that you rewrite this essay. Cut it down to be between 250 and 300 words. Correct the spacing errors and the mistakes noted in the first paragraph.
Post is again in this thread. Then we can work on vocabulary and grammatical errors.



Recently,scientists (spacing error) and health authorities around the world have been working round the clock to halt the spread of the deadly novel coronavirus which emerged emerging in Wuhan,China (spacing error) in December,which (spacing error, missing conjunction) has posed a risk to multiple countries by dint of its ability to infect spread rapidly through respiratory system.Besides taking vigorous action to contain the pandemic, a large number of governments have recommended their residents to take preventive measures rather than fully ride (wrong word) on the treatment provided by health care service.Hence,personally speaking, I am whole-heartedly (no hyphen, one word) in agreement with the viewpoint that people benefit more from the before hand prevention than the finding a of cure, which lies in two folds.

(That does not make sense.)

( The topic is not about finding a cure. )

First and foremost,it is manifest that every single citizen will be the beneficiaries when taking medical precautions,which,yields not only a reduced clinical expenditure but a lower risk of contracting life-threatening diseases.Explicitly,following local health’s guidelines closely and healthy life style, ones are equipped themselves with physical strength along with sufficient basic knowledge about medicine and health care.By this way, not only is the chance of infecting contagious diseases diminished but the immune system is also greatly enhanced.Besides,it goes without saying that prevention hinders inhabitants from catching prevalent ailments,which in turn,help them to reduce medical expenses and enables them to utilize that sum of money for other necessary purposes such as bills,taxes and so on.

.

Comments  

Please post essays in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
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Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the saying ‘prevention is better than cure’. Write an essay of about 250 words presenting your opinions with suitable examples and evident from the war against COVID-19.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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Besides you wrote nearly 450 words. The instructions were to write about 250 words. It is important to pay attention to your instructions.

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ok,thanks for your comment.It's the first time i have used it so i don't know what to do

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.