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Hi,

I was asked by my supervisor to draft a letter to his co-equal in another department. I'm not sure about my grammar here. may I ask for your help. Please see the draft below. Thank you.


This is to bring to your attention the clogging of the canal in the hallway going to PSB at the ground floor due to the accumulation of grease, which according to our maintenance personnel, comes from the downspout PVC pipe of your canteen at the roof deck.

Said canal together with the improvised urinal at the back of your Security Guard's barracks emits foul smell that causes people passing by that hallway to complain.

We request that appropriate action be taken by your office on this matter.

Thank you very much.

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red olive 901This is to bring to your attention the clogging of the canal in the hallway going to PSB at the ground floor

I don't understand "canal in the hallway".

Canals are man-made waterways for barges (transport vessels). They are not found inside buildings. A hallway is a corridor in a building.

I don't understand "PSB."

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I'm sorry, Sir. canal is like a drainage where accumulated grease together with the water flows.

Maybe I'll just use drainage. PSB is an acronym for the name of the organization whose office is also located in the building. Thanks.

What about the other sentences, Sir?

How about this , Sir:

This is to inform you of the clogging of the drainage pathway in the corridor going to PSB at the ground floor due to the accumulation of grease, which according to our maintenance personnel, comes from the downspout PVC pipe of your canteen at the roof deck.

Said drainage pathway together with the improvised urinal at the back of your Security Guard's barracks contributes to a foul smell that causes people passing by that corridor to complain.

We request that appropriate action be taken by your office on this matter.

Thank you very much.

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red olive 901co-equal

This is strange and unfamiliar. Do you mean this https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/counterpart ?

red olive 901canal in the hallway

Drain would be a better choice here.

Thank you for that, i'll just use drain. On the co-equal, you're right, counterpart is what I mean. I edited again the letter. Is it good already?

This is to bring to your attention the accumulated grease that is clogging up the drain at the corridor going to PSB at the ground floor, which according to our maintenance personnel, comes from the downspout PVC pipe of your canteen at the roof deck.

The foul smell of the grease together with the odor of the improvised urinal that is installed at the back of your Security Guard's barracks causes people passing by that corridor to complain.

We request that appropriate action be taken by your office on this matter.

Thank you very much.