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HI, I"m sending an email to a professor who doesn't know about me to ask about her research that I'm reading. Please help me correct this draft. I put blanks or the letters in some scientific phrases. THank you.

I'm an undergraduate student who is supposed to give a presentation on a scientific paper and I decided to go with one of the papers written by you, titled __________ . I have some questions about that research that I hope you will give it a brief answer or hint.

My first question is, one of the highlight findings is that ___A__. How is that finding different from the other two, which are that B and that C ? I think these two findings are enough to conclude that A.

I also have to come up with some limitations for the study. I think one of them could be not ____. I don't have much deep knowledge about immunology so please correct me if there are any things wrong. I would appreciate it if you could spend time helping me with those questions. Bests,XX.
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My first thought is that you are asking this professor to do a lot for you. I think you need to add a great deal more politeness to this email.

My second thought is that she is unlikely to spend time helping an undergraduate she does not even know with one of his assignments.

Finally, I think you need to add information about what your major field of study is. And what university you are attending. Is it the same as the professor's?

If you want to make some revisions and then repost, I'll be happy to comment further.

Clive


PS - I just noticed that you ended by saying

Bests,XX.

This is totally inappropriate. Save it for when you are emailing your pals or your girl-friend.

XX indicates you are sending 2 kisses!


Start with Dear Professor Smith

and end with Yours sincerely, Tom Jones.

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Here is my revised draft. I will just ask the first question as I don't want to make it long.

I'm an undergraduate student majoring in Biology at a school in South Carolina and is supposed to give a presentation in a biology class on a scientific paper and I decided to go with one of the papers written by you, titled __________ . I have a question about that research that I hope you will give it a brief answer or hint.

My question is, one of the highlight findings is that ___A__. How is that finding different from the other two, which are that B and that C ? I think these two findings are enough to conclude that A.

Sincerely,

Susan.

I'm an undergraduate student majoring in Biology at a school in South Carolina<<< I would give the actual name and I am supposed to give a presentation in a biology class on a scientific paper I have chosen one of your papers entitled __________ . I have a question about that research that I hope you will be kind enough to answer.

My question is, one of the highlight findings is that ___A__. How is finding A different from the other two, which are B and C ? I think B and C are enough to conclude A. d be grateful if you would point out my mistake.

Sincerely,

Susan. Add your last name

You need to start formally.

You need to add more gratitude and politeness.


Isn't there someone at your own university that can help you with this??

Clive.