Essay - Agree Or Disagree: Young People Enjoy More Life Than Older People Do.

Essays are highly structured formal texts, and that is what the teacher/examiner expects from you. Structure is very important!

Always plan out your essays before you start writing them.

In the introduction paragraph, you need:
- A general statement: This introduces the topic to the reader.
- Background: 1 or 2 sentences to provide some details about the topic.
- Your thesis/purpose statement: Explains your position regarding the essay question.

Then you need some body paragraphs in which you persuade the reader to agree with your position. Each paragraph should deal with only one point/idea.

In each body paragraph you need:
- A topic sentence: This introduces the point you want to explain in the paragraph. It must relate to the essay topic too.
- Supporting sentences: These elaborate on and explain the point.
- Example sentences: These give specific examples to prove the point.

Finally, there's the conclusion.
- First sentence: This restates your position, and typically starts with "In conclusion,"
- One or two sentences summarizing the findings of your body paragraphs.

Hi teechr,
Thanks for your reply. Its a great help. If possible could you please also point out the mistakes i did in this essay, so that i can come up with a better version.
Thanks again for our help!

I think it would be much better for you to rewrite your essay first. Here's one hint: Always capitalize the personal pronoun "I" regardless of its position in the text.

Here is the new version of essay i wrote as per your guidelines. I know it's really not in good shape, but I am having hard time forming sentences. Please have a look and tell me how to make it better.

It is true that people grow old with each passing day of their life. But the growing age does not mean that they are enjoying their life less than they did before. In my opinion, there is no age barrier for enjoyment. It's just one's choice how they utilise and manage their time to enjoy and how they keep themselves happy.
There is no denying to the fact that young people have less responsibilites as compared to old people. Thus, they can spend more time on their hobbies than people who are working all day long and have to look after their children in evening, get their homeworks done, and other household activities. But nonetheless, most of them enjoy the work they are doing, they have the jobs they wanted, and they love their family and children and love spending time with them.
Moreover, young people are healthy and they can go out for adventure sports, tough hikes,road trips with friends, explore new places and have life full of adventure. While, older people may have some health related issues and their health may not permit them to go out for adventure activities but they have worked hard all through their life and saved enough money to spend on leisure trips. They can just go out on holidays with family and children, can stay in a luxurious hotel or some peaceful place they like and can enjoy watching sports on TV.
In addition to that, as we are living in digital world, youngesters are more technically advanced as compared to senior citizens. Young individuals pass their leisure time in playing games on xbox, kinect or their mobile phones and tablets. They are connected on social media and love chatting with their friends all over the world. On the other hand, senior citizens are happy even in simplest things of life, like having a cup coffee with a buddy, going out for a walk with their friends and reading news papers.

So in a nutshell, age does not stop anyone to enjoy their life. Everyone has their own way of enjoying life. Older people enjoy their life as much as youngsters do.

RachelGIt is true that people grow old with each passing day of their life.

That's not a good opening statement for your essay, and it's somewhat off topic. You could have opened with, e.g.,
"Life is there to be enjoyed."

You then need to elaborate on that and give some relevant background, e.g.,
"This applies to everybody, young and old."

After that, you introduce the issue/problem you want to discuss, e.g.,
"However, some argue that younger people enjoy life more than older people do."

Then you clearly state your position, e.g.,

RachelGIn my opinion, there is no age is not a barrier for to enjoyment. It's just one's choice how they utilise and manage their time to enjoy their life and how they keep themselves happy.

Your body paragraphs are still quite disorganized. What theme or idea do you want to explore in each?

Hi Teechr,
Thanks for your response. In body paragraphs of this essay, I wanted to explain following ideas :

para 2: I wanted to explain that although old people have more responsibilities, but they find enjoyment in their daily activities, while taking care of their responsibilities.

para 3: for older people, health related issues does not stop them to have a nice vacation.

para 4: old people find enjoyment in simple things even though they are not tech savy.

I am not sure how relevant these points are but I am not able to write down my thought the way i want it to be.
I will try to write another essay today, on a different topic than this. Lets see how it comes out to be.

Let's take them one paragraph at a time.

RachelG Although older people have more responsibilities, but they can still find enjoyment in their daily activities.

Use that as the topic sentence of your first body paragraph, then include what you wrote before to complete that paragraph. Try to follow a general-to-specific structure, giving concrete examples at the end.