I´m getting prepared to take the IELTS test. I wrote an essay, could you correct it?
Thanks!!! margarita

To succeed, you should focus more on cooperation than on competition.

When you start a new business you will be probably loooking forward to suceed. There are different behaviours that could help you more on having success. It is said that both, cooperation and competition, are neccesary, but cooperation could be more important. I don´t agree with this belief; in my opinion, competition is the clue to suceed.
Competition makes you always try to be better than others and obligue you to beat yourself. You will work on giving your best; therefore, you will be always making your best effort. Consequently with that, you will succed. You will never stay the same, you will be always becoming better, improving yourself.
Cooperation is important, I can realize that, but isn´t the clue for suceed. As you help other ones, they will help you; however no one can make you successfull, it is on you. Cooperation makes you focus on the group, not in your objective that is to suceed. Cooperation could be helpful and satisfactory but without competition it makes you forget where are you going to, what you want to get.
I will write about a personal experience to exemplify my opinion. When I got graduated from school I had to take an exam for going to university. All my classmates that got graduated from school the same year that I did, had to take the exam as well. We got prepared for the exam forming a study group that met every evening. Each one of that group brought their own notes from classes and different books and taught the other ones, so we can all learnt more about the subject we were studying. This shows how cooperation could be important; nevertheless this was not enough for getting a mark in the exam that let you go into university. All of us wanted to go to university but there were less vacants than postulators. I needed to get a better mark than many students to be accepted in the faculty I wanted to be in. That´s why me and all of us watched out closely other ones progress. If my classmate got a better mark than I got in an essay fot the exam, I would work harder to get the same or better mark. Therefore, I was always studying more for getting better marks and I was always trying to do my best. In that way, I was really prepared at the time of taking the exam and I got a really good mark, so I was admitted in the top university of my country.
The clue to succed was competition, cooperation helped but wasn´t the most important. Focusing on competition makes you give your best; therefore, it conduces you straight into success. Remeber, when you start a new business never to forget to have a look on your competition, try to beat them and you´ll be successfull.
Go through it and stop using succeed when you mean success and check all the spelling.
I looked in the dictionary and realize the real difference between "sucess" and "suceed" (one is the noun, the other is the verb) I tried to fix my essay, also I corrected the spelling as I could. Is it better now? What else do I have to change?
Thanks a lot
margarita

To succeed, you should focus more on cooperation than on competition.

When you start a new business you will be probably looking forward to succeed. There are different behaviours that could help you more on having success. It is said that both, cooperation and competition, are neccesary, but cooperation could be more important. I don't agree with this belief; in my opinion, competition is the clue to sucess.
Competition makes you always try to be better than others and obligue you to beat yourself. You will work on giving your best; therefore, you will be always making your best effort. Consequently with that, you will succed. You will never stay the same, you will be always becoming better, improving yourself.
Cooperation is important, I can realize that, but isn´t the clue for sucess. As you help other ones, they will help you; however no one can make you successful, it is on you. Cooperation makes you focus on the group, not in your objective that is to succeed. Cooperation could be helpful and satisfactory but without competition it makes you forget where are you going to, what you want to get.
I will write about a personal experience to exemplify my opinion. When I got graduated from school I had to take an exam for going to university. All my classmates that got graduated from school the same year that I did, had to take the exam as well. We got prepared for the exam forming a study group that met every evening. Each one of that group brought their own notes from classes and different books and taught the other ones, so we can all learnt more about the subject we were studying. This shows how cooperation could be important; nevertheless, this was not enough for getting a mark in the exam that let you go into university. All of us wanted to go to university but there were less vacants than postulators. I needed to get a better mark than many students to be accepted in the faculty I wanted to be in. That´s why me and all of us watched out closely other ones progress. If my classmate got a better mark than I got in an essay fot the exam, I would work harder to get the same or better mark. Therefore, I was always studying more for getting better marks and I was always trying to do my best. In that way, I was really prepared at the time of taking the exam and I got a really good mark, so I was admitted in the top university of my country.
The clue of success was competition, cooperation helped but wasn't the most important. Focusing on competition makes you give your best; therefore, it conduces you straight into success. Remember, when you start a new business never to forget to have a look on your competition, try to beat them and you´ll be successful.
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When you start a new business, you will be probably looking forward to success. The way you conduct business helps you achieve success.It is said that both cooperation and competition are necessary, but competition is more important. I think the key to success is competition rather than cooperation. It always compels you to do better than others in anything. by competing, you will show your best. Moreover, you will look for the weak points, try to correct them and consequently, you can work on improving your abilities and potentials.

Cooperation can do you nothing except helping others who will do nothing that helps you excel at your job. For example, when I graduated from university, I had to sit for a placement test to get admission to the college I applied for. My school mates had to sit for the same test. Preparing for the exam, we formed a group to study together. Each group member brought his or her notes and papers, which helped us all to learn more about the test material. This shows how important cooperation is. However, this was not enough for us to get accepted by the university as we all wanted to join the same university. There were not enough seats for us all. Therefore, I used to study by myself because I wanted to be better than the rest of my class mates. So I got accepted to the university.

In conclusion, I think that competition is more important than cooperation. This, of course, does not mean by any means that cooperation is a vice thing. On the contrary it is something positive and fruitful in most cases.
Actually i also think that competition is far better than co-operation.... when our friends get good marks than us then we think that if we would have studied than we would also have good marks..... nd many a times it happens that we teach to our friends and they get good marks then us,at that time we think that if we would not taught him/her then they could nit have got such marks....... so its better to have competition among your friends...... don't leave co-operarion but to focus on your future you need competition...
thankyou
AnonymousActually i also think that competition is far better than co-operation.... when our friends get good marks than us then we think that if we would have studied than we would also have good marks..... nd many a times it happens that we teach to our friends and they get good marks then us,at that time we think that if we would not taught him/her then they could nit have got such marks....... so its better to have competition among your friends...... don't leave co-operarion but to focus on your future you need competition... thankyou
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