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Dear, Experts.

I am making attempts on writing as best responses to double data source Task 1 questions I could. So, please make comments and correct this essay if you could.

Thank you so much in advance.

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Here's the question:

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And here's my response:

The first line graph compares the percentage of London's inhabitants getting to work by five different means of transport; while, the second shows the speed of their travel over five decades since 1970. Overall, the exchange of the ways they go to work resulted in a gradual decrease in their travel speed.

In detail, the percentage of people in London travelling to work by car started by far the highest at 41% in 1970, increased considerably to 48% after two decades, then fell dramatically to just 34% by the year 2010; meanwhile, travelling by bus saw a slight decrease from 23% in 1970, then reached a plateau at 17% over the second half of the period. The pattern for subway travelling at first moved in tandem with that of bus, falling slightly from 32% in 2010 to 28% in 1990, then rose significantly to 38% in by 2010, which was slightly higher than that of car in the same year. Although cycling and walking made up small portions of the total, their very gradual increase together with the rise, stability and dramatic decline in underground, bus and car use respectively contributed to the exchange in the ways Londoners got to work, which led to a noticeable reduction in the speed of travel from 24 mph in 1970 to only 15 mph by the year 2010.

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The first line graph compares the percentage of London's inhabitants getting who get to work by one of five different means of transport [ 1] ; while, [ 2] , while the second shows the speed of their travel [ 3] motorists on A roads over the same period. [ 4] five decades since 1970. Overall, the exchange [ 5] of the ways they go to work resulted in a gradual decrease in their travel speed.

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[ 1]: List them.

[ 2]: Note the correct punctuation around “while”.

[ 3]: No. The second graph is not closely related to the first. It just shows the speed of car drivers on A roads. You should notice that “A” is capitalized, which means we are talking about a particular kind (classification) of road, and the diagram also adds that they are “locally managed”.

[ 4]: If you put the time-frame phrase here, it is confusing, because the reader may think it refers only to the second graph. It would be better to put it before “while”. Also, “since” connects the past and the present (now), but here we are talking only about the past (1970-2010). Therefore, use an alternative phrase.

[ 5]: “exchange” and “change” mean different things! Also, as I’ve mentioned above, the two graphs are not actually directly co-related.

Finally, your text is 225 words, which is too long! In the exam, you do not have enough time for that. Write fewer words (aim for a maximum of 180); cut out waffle and repetition, and break the main part into two or three paragraphs. You do not need to write long sentences about every detail. Focus on the important features, and summarize as much as possible. Revise and post below.

Thank you so much, Teechr, for your detailed comments, corrections and guide.

As you can see, I found this double data source type so confusing that I mixed everything up in details.

I am making efforts to write a response as brief as possible to this kind of question.

All your guide is so valuable for me, especially

teechr[ 3]

for I completely forgot that 'A' is a name of a type of roads in London. This is a piece of key information for me in order not to get off-topic, though I did. I will memorize this to analyze the question as thoroughly as possible.

Regarding this, I am so aware of that; however, I was not able to compose a writing of more than 150 words (<=180) to this kind of question as it includes 2 different data sources. So, I must give it another try to figure out how to respond to this type of question effectively.

teechrsummarize as much as possible

I assure you I will do that if I wish to write a more than 150 and less than 180 word response to this question.

I am going to rewrite it right away and hope it will be better.

Thank you.

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jennifertranfor I completely forgot that 'A' is a name of a type of roads in London

"for" is incorrectly used here. I don't understand what you mean by it. Start your sentence with a subject and a verb.

a type of + singular noun

Teechr, sometimes I use “for” instead of “because”.
Does it sound unnatural? I guess the answer is ‘yes’ because you don’t understand it. I will never use it that way again.

teechr

a type of + singular noun

Thank you for your correction. Sometimes I find myself confused with this kind of grammatical structure. Is the part in red here correct? The feeling when I employ what you teach me is always great. Thank you for that, Teechr.

jennifertran Is the part in red here correct?

Yes it is, but the word before it is not.

You need "confused by", because "confused with" has a different meaning.

jennifertran Thank you for that, Teechr.

You're very welcome.

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teechrYes it is, but the word before it is not. You need "confused by", because "confused with" has a different meaning.

Thank you so much, Teechr.

I used to be always confused by this phrase.

From now on, I should not have "confused by" confused with "confused with" anymore.

It is so funny, right?

Here is my another composition, Teechr.

Is it better than the one above?

The first line graph compares the trends people in London travelled to work by four means of transport (car, bus, subway, bicycle) and on foot over four decades since 1970; while, the second shows the average traffic speeds of 'A' roads within London over the same period.

Overall, there was an increase in Londoners' use of public vehicles, bicyle and walking to work; whereas, the speeds of travel of London's main roads significantly fell.

In detail, going by car started at 41% in 1970, peaked at 48% in 1990 before falling dramatically to just 34% by 2010. In contrast, the opposite pattern for subway travel slided from 32% to 27%, then rose significantly to more than 48% of the car respectively at the points given above.

The use of bus declined from 23% in 1970 to 17% in 1990, where it levelled out over the remaining decades.

Despite small portions of cyling and walking, their figures gradually climbed from 2% in 1970 to 4% and 8% respectively. They together with public means of transport contributed to the noticeable reduction in vehicles' speeds in 'A' roads of London from 1970 to 2010.

Is it better than the one above?

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I see that you’ve completely ignored the changes I made to the start of your text above, and I don’t understand why you’ve done that.

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