Experts, Please Help Me With My Task 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear, Experts.

Please comment and correct as much as possible.

Thank you so much in advance.

------------

Here's the question:

-------------

Here's my response:

Nowadays, housing is increasingly concerned over the world. Although in many countries, people tend to rent a house, in some there is a significance of having one as it shows their stability and social position.

First, an accommodation to many people in some nations is their own property, which means they can return to whenever they want. Contrary to this, a rent one can be taken away by its homeowner at any given time. For example, people, particularly in China, usually prioritize their earnings to afford a house as soon as possible rather than contemplate renting one in the long run as their own home gives them a feeling of settling down in life so as to be able to fully focus on their work or study.

On the other hand, in some countries one of the conditions of high-status social position is recognized if someone has their own assets such as a house. Renting a house mostly means people are unable to affort to own one, which is the reason they are demoted to lower social status. Take Korea as an example. There is a clear discrimination between people who own a house and those who don't. The former ones are more regarded than the latter when it comes to social status.

In conclusion, owning a house brings about numerous benefits to its owner; however, it doesn't matter if someone is incapable of buying one. What is crucial is people's morality towards what they are doing. So to speak, people have their own right to decide whether to own an apartment or rent one.