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task 2


In the last seventy years we have seen a great improvement in life expectancy in many parts of the world due to the state-of-art technology available. However, bad habits are threatening many achievements of the human being related to public health. For this reason, some hypotheses have been formulated.

Some people state that public health can be improved, increasing the number of sport facilities. Nowadays, children and teenagers prefer to lay in bed, eating junk food rather than being involved in social activities. This sedentary lifestyle leads to an increase of diseases such as obesity and diabetes which have a great monetary impact for public health as well as for the life expectancy of people.

On the other hand, people affirm that is not sufficient to increase the number of sport facilities to improve the quality of the healthcare system since the effect would be minimal. In particular, the money which would be used to build these new facilities could be reinvested in order to promote new assumptions or to fund research and development in different fields of medicine.

I am of the opinion that sport facilities can be a good tool in order to fight social problems such as obesity and promote a healthy lifestyle. However, this is not enough to reach this objective. In fact, some campaigns promoting sport activities in school as well as information regarding diseases deriving from sedentary lifestyle and a wrong diet, could be effective against these problems. Nevertheless, investments should also be made in the healthcare system of each state which demonstrated to be weak and unprepared against some shocks like the Covid-19 pandemic.


thank you in advance!

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In the last seventy years we have seen a great improvement in life expectancy in many parts of the world due to the state-of-art technology available. (I do not understand this part.) However, bad habits are threatening many achievements of the human being (Which one human being do you mean?) related to public health. For this reason, some hypotheses have been formulated. (What hypotheses are you talking about? Hypotheses about state-of-the-art-technology and life expectancy? The bad habits? Your opening paragraph does not relate to the essay topic.)

(In your first paragraph, you need to directly address the essay prompt.

In this case, it is "discuss both views and give your opinion"

You did not mention sports facilities in the first paragraph. You did not mention the two viewpoints.
You did not give an opinion.
For this reason, you will lose a lot of points on "task completion". Task completion is worth 25% of your score.)


Some people state that public health can be improved by increasing the number of sport facilities. (That is the main point of your paragraph, yet you do not follow it with any logical argument. You must present arguments why this action will make the public health better. You will lose points for "coherence and cohesion." "Coherence and cohesion" is worth 25% of the score..) Nowadays, children and teenagers (The topic did not mention children and teenagers.) prefer to lay in bed, eating junk food rather than being involved in social activities. This sedentary lifestyle leads to an increase of diseases such as obesity and diabetes which have a great monetary impact (I do not understand this point. It does not seem to be related to the overall health of the population.) for public health as well as for the life expectancy of people.

On the other hand, people affirm that is not sufficient to increase the number of sport facilities to improve the quality of the healthcare system (That is off-topic. The essay topic does not mention hospitals, health insurance, doctors, and other parts of the healthcare system.) since the effect would be minimal. In particular, the money which would be used to build these new facilities could be reinvested in order to promote new assumptions (I do not know what this means. ) or to fund research and development in different fields of medicine.

I am of the opinion that sport facilities can be a good tool in order to fight social problems (Off-topic. The topic is not social problems such as bullying in schools or protests on the streets. ) such as obesity and promote a healthy lifestyle. However, this is not enough to reach this objective. In fact, some campaigns promoting sport activities in school as well as information regarding diseases deriving from sedentary lifestyle and a wrong diet, could be effective against these problems. Nevertheless, investments should also be made in the healthcare system of each state (Off topic) which demonstrated to be weak and unprepared against some shocks like the Covid-19 pandemic.


Your essay lacks a conclusion paragraph. In the conclusion paragraph, you restate your thesis from the first paragraph and summarize the points in the body paragraphs. You will lose points on "task achievement."

Do you know how these essays are scored?

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