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Excited about the news, I hurried to her house and broke it to her. She got all excited, jumped up and down and eventually jumped on me. Losing my balance, I fell back on the ground and she flipped half a turn, landing above my head face up.

Is the above confusing? Do you imagine us ended up lying on the group head to head forming a straight line? If not, which part has thrown you off?

Thanks.
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Comments  (Page 2) 
Does it convey the idea that we were in a straight line, at least? I'm having difficulty picturing behind with the human reference lying as I always associate behind with being behind the back of the guy who's standing.

By the way, is my additional description in my previous post clear to you, meaning not ambiguous? Just want to make sure we're on the same page.
Hi,
It's all rather hard for me to picture precisely.
Try to describe it again, if you wish.
Clive
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New2grammarDoes it convey the idea that we were in a straight line, at least? I'm having difficulty picturing behind with the human reference lying as I always associate behind with being behind the back of the guy who's standing.

By the way, is my additional description in my previous post clear to you, meaning not ambiguous? Just want to make sure we're on the same page.

Yep, your description is clear.

I agree that "behind" is not usual when someone is lying down, but to me it sounds more natural here than "above". To me, it conveys the general idea that she tumbled right over you, without raising the spectre of one person floating above another. It does not, however, precisely describe a head-to-head straight-line configuration of bodies. I can't think of any simple and elegant way to do that. I think I'd end up with a more technical-sounding description that uses rather more words, a little like you did.
Let me rephrase it a bit. I think we pretty much agree to some of the adverbs.

She tumbled head over heels, her head to mine, together formed a straight line.
Hi,
She tumbled head over heels, her head to mine, together formed a straight line.

Still not clear to me. You also need to describe what was happening to 'me', ie where I am during this event. Otherwise, it sounds like her head is next to mine while the tumbling is occuring. You also need to indicate that we both end up on the ground, and that we are both on our backs. In addition, it's more the bodies that form a straight line. Heads don't make much of what you could call a line.

Not an easy thing to describe. Do you want to try again?
You might try saying 'we ended up on the ground, on our backs, . . . . . . . '

Clive
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Thank you, Clive. Let me try again.

Excited about the news, I hurried to her house and broke it to her. She got all excited, jumped up and down and eventually jumped on me. Losing my balance, I fell back on the ground, sending her tumble head over heels. We landed face up on the ground, her head to mine, together we formed a straight line.

I'm using face up instead of on our backs and 'sending' to indicated my falling and her flying occurred at the same time, and I use we to indicate our bodies form a straight line. How do I do know?
New2grammarExcited about the news, I hurried to her house and broke it to her. She got all excited, jumped up and down and eventually jumped on me. Losing my balance, I fell back on the ground, sending her tumble head over heels. We landed face up on the ground, her head to mine, together we formed a straight line.
I think "together we formed a straight line" sounds odd. How about:

Losing my balance, I fell back on the ground, sending her tumbling head over heels. We landed lying in opposite directions, face up on the ground, her head to mine.
There seems to be hundreds of combinations and only one correct combination Emotion: sad

Thanks, Mr. Wordy.
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Hi,
There are two things that seem odd to me about your descriptions so far.

1. There seems to be no real description of how she flipped, ie how her head went down and her heels came up. If she jumped on me as you have described, I would just expect to fall on my back and her to land on top of me, ie "toe to toe and head to head".

2. What you are describing is so unusual, so extreme and so potentially dangerous that I would expect you to mention that at the start.
eg A very extreme thing happened when she jumped on me. We were lucky that neither of us were badly hurt.

Best wishes, Clive
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