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Several homes have been swept away in the Midwest as a result of serious flooding. A five million mansion is among those that sufferred the ill fate. According to locals, flooding of this magnitude has not been seen in almost 100 years. The recreation industry was impacted as well when a man-made lake which makes billions of dollars a year from tourism drained empty when its levees broke. Now, one can walk on the lake and look for valuables like what those metal detector guys do

Are there any mistakes?

Thanks
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Several homes have been swept away in the Midwest as a result of serious flooding. A five million mansion is among those that sufferred the ill fate. According to locals, flooding of this magnitude has not been seen in almost 100 years. The recreation industry was impacted as well when a man-made lake which makes billions of dollars a year from tourism drained empty when its levees broke. Now, one can walk on the lake and look for valuables like what those metal detector guys do

Several homes have been swept away in the Midwest as a result of serious flooding. Okay

A five-million-dollar mansion was among those that sufferred the ill fate.

According to locals, flooding of this magnitude has not been seen in almost 100 years. Okay

The recreation industry was impacted as well when a man-made lake which contributes millions of tourism dollars a year to the economy drained empty when its levees broke.

Now, one can walk on the lake bottom and look for valuables, just like what those guys with the metal detectors do.
A five million dollar mansion

sufferred = suffered

I think most native speakers would skip "ill" (fate).

People and businesses make money, not lakes. Maybe, "lake, which brings billions of tourism/tourist dollars into the area"

I think "completely drained," or "emptied," is more natural than "drained empty."

The guys don't do valuables. Maybe, "look for valuables, the way those metal detector guys do."
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It's always good when we agree! (I just type a bit more quickly!)
GG, thanks for the corrections.

I have one question, why "which makes billions of dollars a year from tourism" is incorrect?

I learned the style from somewhere and I did a search and found the following. I agree, millions is better than billions in this context.

The tobacco industry makes billions of dollars from selling a major cancer causing product. Furthermore

Edit: Please ignore this question as Avangi has answered it. Instead I have another question ...coming up
"The guys don't do valuables. Maybe, "look for valuables, the way those metal detector guys do."

Avangi, I don't understand your first sentence. I think your comment is related to GG's change of striking out 'what' before 'those metal detector guys'

Actually, I don't understand why 'what' is wrong and I believe that's what this comment is about.
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Grammar GeekIt's always good when we agree! (I just type a bit more quickly!)
It was all that tricky bassoon fingering in the early years. I was playing trombone, so I'm still slippin' an' slidin' around.

Best wishes, - A.
Hi New2, Re "the guys don't do valuables," I'm too pooped right now to get a handle on it. Maybe later. There's something about the transition from one thought to the other that doesn't quite work. I can hear it conversationally with an abrupt stop after "valuables."

. . . . looking for valuables - you know - the way those metal detector guys do. My wisecrack alluded to the fact that without the comma, what followed felt like it was supposed to modify valuables. Anyway, it doesn't quite flow - or it flows when it should stop. I'll try to explain it later. "Valuables" is really the end of the sentence, structurally. The thing about the guys is sort of parenthetical, structurally - although it's really your main point.

- A.
Grammar Geek A five million mansion is among those that sufferred the ill fate.
A five-million-dollar mansion was among those that sufferred the ill fate. Hi GG, just being my usual obstreperous self, but isn't it still among 'em? (I know it's probably not still worth 5 M.)

Best wishes, - A.

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