In today's society, reading, writing, and math have played an integral role in the education curriculum over time. Nevertheless, some people suppose that computer skill should also become an indispensable subject of this strong advancement. Personally, I am in favor of the notion that computer skill should be added to the list.
First and foremost, computer skill is not an individual technique simply; moreover , it is also an outstanding support to others. Currently, computer ability mostly comes along with any parts as well as aiding people to approach others effortlessly. For instance, without the contribution of the coder or web developer who has profound knowledge in computer skills, we will not have any utilizable website both in learning and workforce. As a result, it may assist people in reading a wide range of books throughout the world for free, checking and suggesting writing ideas, and guiding step-by-step for both novice or experienced people in the online math learning platforms, and other similar things.
Moreover, having a strong computer technique as well as a high-technology one will possibly advance the career path growth. Technology seems to be all around these days, so those who are able to take advantage of this opportunity will catch up with the world's blooming trends efficiently/ successfully. For example, in the marketing section, their strategy almost changed to a digital one by concentrating on social campaigns via posting an advertisement on Facebook with attractive content instead of in a newspaper. Besides, rather than waiting for repeat customers, they would conduct surveys or use some search engine tools in order to gain the client's insight as greatest as possible.
To sum up, I totally agree that computer skill needs to be an essential part of the education list.
Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.
Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
Message body:
Topic: For centuries, important parts subjects in (wrong word) of education have been remained such as reading, writing, and maths. With the advent of (wrong expression) widespread use of computers, some people think that information technology computer skills (wrong form) be made as a fourth subject skill (wrong word) to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree?
My essay:
(Your text here...)
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The task is written in poor English, with lots of unnatural or wrong expressions. Please use a reputable source for your practice essays.
In today's society, Reading, writing, and math have played an integral role in the education curriculum over time. (The two words related to time are in conflict. It does not make any sense to use them in the same sentence.) Nevertheless, some people propose / advocate / suggest suppose that computer skill (wrong expression) should also become another required indispensable (wrong word) subject taught in high schools. of this strong advancement. (That is not good - there is no "advancement'.) Personally, I am in favor of the notion that computer skill should be added to the list.
You did not answer the essay prompt clearly.
The examiner is looking for an answer to this question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
You need to use an adverb of extent in your answer.
It is good to know a good handful of adverbs of extent because this is a very common prompt in IELTS Task 2 essays.
Complete agreement / disagreement:
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completely
fully
totally
wholeheartedly
unreservedly
with no reservations
without reservation
unequivocally
unquestionably
with no hesitation
unconditionally
Partial agreement / disagreement:
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somewhat
partially
partly
to some extent / to a limited extent / to a point
with (some / certain / a few) reservations
conditionally
First and foremost, computer skill is not an individual technique simply; (Not a good phrase. I do not know what you mean. ) moreover , it is also an outstanding support to others. (Other people?) Currently, computer ability mostly comes along with any parts (Not good.) as well as aiding people to approach others (Do you mean it helps you make friends or get close to other people?) effortlessly. For instance, without the contribution of the coder or web developer who has many profound knowledge in You can have a profound knowledge of history, English literature, or chemistry, but not skills) computer skills, we will not have any utilizable website (poor expression) both in learning and workforce. As a result, it (What?) may assist people in reading a wide range of books throughout the world for free, checking and suggesting writing ideas, and guiding step-by-step for both novice or experienced people in the online math learning platforms, and other similar things.
Moreover, having a strong computer technique (That is not good.) as well as a high-technology one will possibly advance the career path growth. Technology seems to be all around these days, so those who are able to take advantage of this opportunity will catch up with the world's blooming trends efficiently/ successfully. For example, in the marketing section, their strategy almost changed to a digital one by concentrating on social campaigns via posting an advertisement on Facebook with attractive content instead of in a newspaper. Besides, rather than waiting for repeat customers, they would conduct surveys or use some search engine tools in order to gain the client's insight as greatest as possible.
Your phrases and collocations are not good English. You need to give better examples.
To sum up, I totally agree that computer skill information technology subjects, such as programming, web page design, networking, as well as how to use office applications, needs to be an essential subject in the high school curriculum. part of the education list.
Thank you for your detailed correction!