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I am writing a letter to apply for a position. Would somebody read my draft and help me with this?


Dear Dr. [surname]

I am a PhD candidate at [name of university] working under supervision of prof. [surname]. I am writing to you to express my interest and apply for the postdoctoral position available in your group. I am completing my PhD and expect to graduate in [approximate date of graduation]. I am particularly interested in [area of interest]. I have followed some of your works (or papers?) in [area of interest]. I would be interested in working with you for my postdoctoral research program (or postdoctoral training?) to further my understanding.
You will receive two letters of reference from prof. [surname] and Dr. [surname] under separate cover.I am enclosing herewith my curriculum vitae and summary of research statement as attachmentfiles for your perusal. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.I look forward to hearing from you. Best Regards, My surname.
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It is not very specific and does nothing to attract the professor's interest in you.



I am a PhD candidate at [name of university] working under supervision of Prof. [surname]. I am writing to you to express my interest and apply for the postdoctoral position available in your group (Where did you learn about the opportunity?). I am completing my PhD and expect to graduate in [approximate date of graduation]. I am particularly interested in [area of interest]. I have followed your research some of your works (or papers?) in [area of interest]. I would be interested in working with you for my postdoctoral research program (or postdoctoral training?) to further my understanding. (How boring! give a good reason or two why this particular program excites you.)
You will receive I am sending you two letters of reference from Prof.. [surname] and Dr. [surname] under separate cover.I am enclosing herewith my Attached is my curriculum vitae and a statement summarizing my research interests. summary of research statement as attachmentfiles for your perusal. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.I look forward to hearing from you. Best Regards, My surname.

Comments  
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

Thank you for your time and useful comments. I thought, because I am attaching my cv and research statement, I don't need to be more specific. I also wanted my email to be short. I tried to improve my letter. I will be grateful if you read and tell me whether it needs revision or not.

Dear Prof. [surname]

I am a PhD candidate at the [name of university] working under the supervision of Prof. [surname]. I am writing to you to apply for the postdoctoral position available in your group that was advertised on the website [address of web- I dont know, do I need to write the address or not-]. I am completing my PhD and expect to graduate in [approximate date]. I am interested in [area of my interest]. In my master program, I worked with [name of model] model. In this study, after solving the [name of equation] equation, I calculated the [name of quantity]. In my PhD program, I started to work with [name of framework] where I investigated the effect of [some parameter] on the [other quantity]. In my second and third project I focused on the [short description of work]. These works are described in more details in my accompanying (or attached?) research statement. I have followed your research and I am particularly interested in [area of his research that I am interested]. Recently, I have focused on [area (which has overlap with his recent research) ] as part of my fourth PhD project. I would be interested in working with you for my postdoctoral research to deepen my understanding [area outlined in advertisement].
I arranged two letters of reference which will be sent by Prof. [surname1] and Dr. [surname2] separately.Attached is my curriculum vitae and a statement summarizing my research interests . Thank you very much for your time and consideration.I look forward to hearing from you. Best Regards, my surname

One paragraph is not professional.

anonymousthe website [address of web- I dont know, do I need to write the address or not-].

the XYZ University website.

anonymousThese works are described in more details in my accompanying (or attached?) research statement.

This work is described in more detail in the attached statement of research.

AlpheccaStarsOne paragraph is not professional.

do you mean, one paragraph describing my work in not enough? or other part of letter?

how much do I need to write about it ?

I really appreciate your help.

Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies

Paragraphs show the logic of the writer's thought process. Each paragraph has one main idea. Good paragraphing is one of the keys for effective communication.