Hi all,

Encouraged by the responses I got for my previous post, I am presenting my second contribution to the Forum. Needless to add, comments are most welcome.

If you are seeking
forgiveness for the past,
Find the place where
the past seems to exist and
notice it is
Empty..

If one looks and sees nothing
but vast space, forgiveness
has already been granted, and
dark clouds of guilt evaporate
in the sky of mercy.

Thanks & Regards
Shankar
1 2
This was very inspiring. very glad you shared.
Beautiful meaning! Keep going....
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Thanks
Glad that u liked it
I like the rhythm of the first 6 lines; the last 5 lines seem a little weaker. Do they make the thought too explicit, I wonder?

MrP
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A good one KS. But a suggestion,

If one looks and sees nothing
but vast space,

maybe this should be deleted as it is the same idea as 'empty' and so seems repetitive. Just a suggestion that you could begin the second stanza with ... 'then forgiveness has been granted..." Or you could try, "then the emptiness clears the dark clouds of guilt into the.....' which implies that forgiveness is given but is not explicit. Just a suggestion!
Yes Mr. P, I too get a similar feeling now.. May be I was hard concentrating on bringing my thoughts to its logical conclusion, which rendered it to be noticeably explicit.

Thanks
Shankar
Thanks Anita. Mr. P has also been echoing the same sentiment. Yes I realise it now..

Regards
Shankar
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