+0
hello ! I'm french and I need some help.
here is an essay I have to do for monday. could you correct it ? thank you very much !!!!
merci beaucoup !!!

______________________________________________________________________

Relate a nightmare you had.

The story I am going to relate is about a nightmare I had when I was 7.
It takes place during the night, around midnight, in a shadowy and deserted grave-yard. The weather is stormy and I can see several flashes of lightening coming across the misty sky. I am walking quietly but I’m very anguished. I feel that something terrible is going to happen… There are some strange and creepy noises: sturdy sounds of footsteps, rustles of autumn leaves, the moaning of the wind, clap of thunder and suddenly…a very strong howl. I want to run, however my legs are paralyzed and the intriguing creature is bringing nearer… All of a sudden, my sister appears. She looks odd, unbalanced and very unusual. I am very disturbed owing to her sparkling eyes. She takes my hand and brings me into a bleak wood with gloomy high trees. Then I see impressive shadows coming from behind the trees: it is all my family… next, they all turn into werewolves. I scream but no sounds leave my mouth. They take me on a hill just in front of a weird and isolated mansion. When we arrive they start surrounding me so that they can bite me. They all look at me in a very insane way with their shiny eyes. They come closer and closer… and suddenly… I wake up!
In this nightmare, I felt a feeling of fear and anxiety and it was very unpleasant. I think that I made this dream because one of my worst fears is to lose my family. Consequently I had been quite traumatized after this dream…
+0
Hi Guest,

I have made a few minor alterations to your excellent story, so that it reads a little better in English. the adjectives you chose were very good, but I wonder if the ones I've substituted give more mystery to your story. Please look them up so that you are satisfied with their meaning.

I have also altered the word order of "sturdy sound of footsteps" - this should be "sound of sturdy footsteps" because it is the footsteps which are sturdy, not the sound.

In English, we don't "make a dream", we "have a dream", so I have altered that too.

The story I am going to relate is about a nightmare I had when I was 7.
I dream that it is night time, around midnight, and I am in a shadowy and deserted grave-yard. The weather is stormy and I can see several flashes of lightning coming across the misty sky. I am walking quietly but I’m in a state of distress. I feel that something terrible is going to happen… There are some strange and eeirie noises: sounds of sturdy footsteps, the rustle of autumn leaves, the moaning of the wind, a clap of thunder and suddenly…a piercing howl. I want to run, but my legs are paralyzed and the mysterious creature is coming nearer… Suddenly, my sister appears. She looks odd, unbalanced and very strange. I am very disturbed by her sparkling eyes. She takes my hand and leads me into a bleak wood with high gloomy trees. Then I see imposing shadows coming from behind the trees: it is all my family. Then they all turn into werewolves. I try to scream but no sounds leave my mouth. They take me on a hill just in front of an eccentric and isolated mansion. When we arrive they start surrounding me so that they can bite me. They all look at me in a very insane way with their shiny eyes. They come closer and closer… and suddenly… I wake up!
In this nightmare, I felt a feeling of fear and anxiety and it was very unpleasant. I think that I had this dream because one of my worst fears is to lose my family. Consequently I had was quite traumatized after this dream…

Hope all goes well
+0
Hello Guest, why not register?

Your questions will then appear on the forum as soon as you ask them.

Also, of course, you would then have the option of choosing a memorable screen name. (If you're quick, you may find that FrenchGirlNeedsHelp is still available...)

MrP