The bar charts compare the figure for marriages and divorces from 1970 to 2000, and the percentage of adults in the marital status in the USA over the in two of the years.

Overall, it is clear that the proportion of marriages was significantly higher than the figure of divorces in the USA between 1970 and 2000.

In 1970 and 2000, the number of divorces in the USA was 1 million. However, the figures increased suddenly to 1,4 million in 1980 and decreased to 1.1 million in 1990. In contrast, 2,5 millions of americans got married in 1970, and this rate remained in 1980. While, there was un drop in the proportion of marriages in the USA in 1990 and 2000, to 2,4 millions and 2 millions respectively.

The percentage of americans who never got married, was 13% in 1970 and 20% in 2000, compared to 70% and 59% of americans who got married in 1970 and 2000 respectively. Otherwise, the rate of americans who were in the divorced and widowed status was much lower in both 2 years, at under 10% .

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic:

The charts below give information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. Summarise the information by...

Copy all the instructions accurately and completely. The "subject" line is not long enough for all the instructions.

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https://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseWritingTask1/bnzbnq/post.htm


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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The bar charts compare the figure (wrong word. Besides "the figure" is one thing. Is there only one data item on the bar chart?) for marriages and divorces from 1970 to 2000, (wrong expression. "from 1970 to 2000" means the continuous period: 1971, 1972, 1973, 1974..., 1991, 1992, 1993.... 1999, 2000) and the percentage of adults in the marital status (That is one marital status. Which one?) in the USA over the in (ungrammatical) two of the years.


Your first paragraph is incomplete. What are the different marital statuses? What two years are shown? "Figure" is very used wrongly in Task 1. Read my advice for Task 1 on vocabulary, structure, and content.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post


Overall, it is clear that (Avoid such it-clauses. They do not contain any information about the data.) the proportion (wrong word - a proportion is part of something. It can be a percentage or a fraction.) of marriages was significantly higher than the figure (wrong word) of divorces in the USA between 1970 and 2000. (wrong expression. "Between 1970 and 2000" means the continuous period: 1971, 1972, 1973, 1974..., 1991, 1992, 1993.... 1999, 2000)

In 1970 and 2000, the number of divorces in the USA was 1 million. However, the figures (wrong word ) increased suddenly (wrong word - Suddenly is a very very short time. A decade, 10 years, is not a short time) to 1,4 million in 1980 and decreased to 1.1 million in 1990. In contrast, 2,5 millions (wrong form) of americans (Americans is a proper noun.) got married in 1970, and this rate (wrong word - read my vocabulary advice. ) remained was the same in 1980. While, (wrong punctuation) there was un drop in the proportion (wrong word ) of marriages in the USA (You should not repeat this phrase. You write it once in paragraph #1.) in 1990 and 2000, to 2,4 millions (wrong form) and 2 millions (wrong form) respectively. (The last sentence is a fragment, not a grammatical sentence. "While" is a subordinator. It introduces a subordinate - dependent - clause.)

The percentage of americans who never got married, was 13% in 1970 and 20% in 2000, compared to 70% and 59% of americans who got married (wrong verb phrase. "get married" means they had a marriage ceremony in that year. More than half of all Americans did not have a wedding ceremony in 1970. ) in 1970 and 2000 respectively. Otherwise, the rate (wrong word. There are no rates on the charts. ) of americans who were in the divorced and or widowed status was much lower in both 2 (Both means two. You wrote "two two", which is redundant.) years, at under 10% .


Here is how to write the numbers: "million" as a determiner (modifier) never changes to the plural form.

One million American adults.
Five million American adults.

2.4 million hamburgers.


Example essay:

Paragraph 1: Describe the figure completely.

The two bar charts together give information about marriage and divorce in the USA. The first chart plots the numbers of marriages and divorces in four years, 1970, 1980, 1990 and 2000. The second bar chart plots the proportion of adults who were in each of four categories ( never married, married, widowed and divorced ) in 1970 and 2000.

Paragraph 2: Write about two or three main features.

Overall, there were marriages than divorces in this time frame and the majority of adults were married. The number of marriages and the percentage of adults who were married were both smaller in 2000 than in 1970.

Paragraph 3: Write about some details. Focus on comparisons

In detail, the number of marriages generally were on the decline, from 2.5 million in both 1970 and 1980 to 2 million in 2000. Divorces were close to one million in each of the four years except 1980, when it reached about 1.4 million. Regarding marital status, 70% of adults were classified as married in 1970 and about 10% less in 2000. A small minority of adults fell into the categories of widowed and divorced; however, the percentage of divorced adults rose by a factor of about 4, from 2% in 1970 to 8% in 2000. The proportion of adults who were never married went up from 15% in 1970 to 20% in 2000.

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Thank you so much for your corrections. Many thanks. That helps me a lot. I can well undertand these words.