Gallrein Farms

There is a small, unassuming sign on the right side of the road that tells you this is the place, turn here. For half a mile there is nothing but grass, sky, and a paved lane. No city noise just country quiet. After driving over a small rise, straight ahead: civilization! About 100 feet away, are rows upon rows of vehicles, parked in the grass on the left side of the lane. In front of the vehicles, is a fairly large fenced off area that contains animals. In behind the kennel is what appears to be a greenhouse. To the right of the greenhouse is a building, which I later found out is the Produce Market. Off in the distance, there is a corn field spreading from your left circling around behind the market.

Even before I observed the lay of the land, I noticed the hay. A ten foot high hay stack, shaped like a pyramid, graced the clearing on the right side of the lane. It was great in itself, but what made it magnificent was the children. Kids were everywhere! What came to mind watching them was swarming bees on honey. They were racing up one side, jumping from bale to bale down another side, running around and around on the tiers of the pyramid. All of them were constantly dodging each other so they wouldn’t get hit. One poor kid must’ve got hit or tripped, because he was rolling down the pyramid! At the bottom, he picked his self up and took off right back up again. A few yards in front of the pyramid was a hay pit, a bunch of loose hay surrounded by small bales of hay. Children were doing gymnastic type moves over the hay bale barrier and landing in the soft hay. They were laughing, giggling, and shouting! Just having a good ol’ time! It was a kid’s paradise. For me it was allergy central, but I enjoyed playing in the hay with my babies.

Gallrein Farms, commonly known as just Gallrein’s, is situated on 1,000 acres of land and is family-owned and operated. The family grows vegetables, fruits, flowers, and raises beef cattle. 1 of the 5 greenhouses is located right next to the market. The greenhouses house begonias, marigolds, impatiens, geraniums, and newer varieties that you probably would not find anywhere else. All the greenhouses are now almost empty. Most of the flowers are sitting in front of the market, so they can be sold before it gets cold. They are not wilted, brown, and dead looking like mine tend to be. They are very healthy looking, beautiful flowers

There is also a small petting zoo, which happens to be free of admission. There is a small fenced in chicken coop with different species of chickens. Eeyore, the Sicilian donkey; Patrick, the miniature pony; and there was a llama, some rabbits, and a couple of goats that live there. The one thing I noticed was that a lot of moms were complaining afterwards because there was no hand disinfectant or sink nearby to wash little hands.

The big money maker for the farm is their Produce Market. The Gallrein’s have a market on-site where they sell the produce directly to the customer. Corn is probably the biggest seller. On any morning, during the summer months, you can see workers out in the yard sorting through corn. Customers will be buying it faster than what the sorters can sort. From experience I can tell you this is the best corn around, nothing compares. Other produce they sell are berries, peas, squash, green beans, tomatoes, okra, lima beans, Amish preserves, pumpkins and other fall produce, and farm crafts.

In between all of this action there was a steady stream of parents, coming from the direction of the pumpkin patch, pulling wagons full of kids and pumpkins up to the checkout line.

My family and I went into the Produce Market to buy some fresh corn, but they were already sold out for the day. So we stood in line for 15 minutes to buy some squash. The line was out the door, so even though the corn was sold out, Gallrein’s still did good business. While the cashier was ringing up our purchase, I glanced at the chalk board that the store uses to announce specials of the day and that sort. There was a note stating that next weekend there would be a horse drawn hay wagon ride that takes you to the pumpkin patch. I noticed on the way into the market that the pumpkin patch was just on the right. I asked the cashier why they had a horse drawn wagon when the patch was so near. The lady said that they get to the pumpkin patch by a round about way. On the hay ride they take you on kind of a mini tour of the farm. They also show you farmland that is currently being worked to raise wheat, corn, alfalfa, hay, and soybean. The chalkboard also read that a four acre corn maze would be open then also.

On the way back to the van the babies wanted to see the ducks and geese that were swimming in the pond. So all six of us stood on the dock and threw them dog food that came out of a twenty-five cent dispenser. At first all that could be seen were little shadows under the water. Eventually one of the boys noticed that the shadows were catfish and that they were coming up to the surface to feed. The family thought that feeding the fish was so fascinating that we actually stood there and watched for about as long as we were playing in the hay.
No city noise -- add a comma
About 100 feet away, -- no comma
are rows upon rows of vehicles,-- no comma
In front of the vehicles, -- no comma
Off in the distance, -- no comma
spreading from your left and
A ten foot high hay stack,-- no comma
shaped like a pyramid, -- no comma
swarming bees on honey. -- bees don't swarm on honey; they swarm on the queen or on the comb.
picked his self up -- himself
a hay pit, a bunch of loose hay surrounded by small bales of hay.-- three hays in a row: very boring; rephrase
over the hay bale barrier and landing in the soft hay.-- two more hays; time to find a new word
The family grows vegetables, fruits, and flowers, and raises beef cattle
One
of the five greenhouses
dead-looking...healthy-looking
There is also a small free petting zoo -- don't blather
fenced-in

different species of chickens -- there is only one species of chicken, Gallus gallus; there are many varieties
and a couple of goats that live there
-- and the others are just visiting? Don't blather; cut unnecessary words
On any morning,
-- no comma
during the summer months, -
- no comma
buying it faster than the sorters can sort it.
the best corn around, -- semicolon
In between all of this action there was a steady stream of parents,
-- no comma
the pumpkin patch and pulling wagons

sold out for the day, so we stood in line
and that sort of thing.
horse-drawn
horse-drawn
roundabout

o
n a mini-tour

soybeans

four-acre
swimming in the pond, so

dog food from a twenty-five cent dispenser
as long as we had been playing in the hay.


Your story is very interesting and pleasantly told, but seems unfinished. The language is slightly too casual and the sentences too casually formed for a written account. Not enough hyphens and too many commas. Commas slow down a narrative badly, and should be used only when absolutely necessary.
Thanks! This is my 2nd essay for ENG101. I am really struggling with this one though. I really like the beginning of the observational essay, but I'm not happy with the rest. If you have any other suggestions on how to make it better I would greatly appreciate it!

Thanks again!