Hi Folks,
In Austin Powers III (Goldmember), our hero banters with Michael Caine in their native Cockney. The delivery was fine, but the piece was quite contrived.
Despite this, I had a bash at deciphering it, and got stuck on the last two paragraphs. Any takers?
I include their dialog (as best as I could hear it off the DVD) and subtitles, and my translation. I've also appended a glossary.

Cheers,
Jeremy >-)
dialog subtitle translation

I could of had it away I was about to make I could have screwed with this cracking love to this pretty this gorgeous chick, Julie, my old china. girl my old mate.

Are you telling pork Is this true? Are you telling lies pies and a bag of and nonsense? tripe?
Cos if you are feeling If you were aroused, Cos, if you're feeling quiggley, why not just why didn't you horny, why not just have a J Arthur? pleasure yourself? jerk off?

What, Billy no mates? What, alone? By myself?

Too right youth. Indeed. Damn right, dude.

Don't you remember the Remember the Christmas Don't you remember the crimbo din-din we had dinner with the Christmas dinner we with the grotty Scotch Scottish girl? had with that ugly bint? Scottish chick?

Oh! The one that was The insane one? The mixed-up one? all sixes and sevens?
Yes. She was the She was the wife of Yes. She was the wife trouble and strife of the dancer who lived of the dancer who the Morris dancer who upstairs. lived upstairs. lived up the apples
and pairs.
Yes, she was the A lawyer who became a Yes, she was a lawyer barrister that became policeman in a who became a cop in a a bobby in a lorry... truck... truck...

And they gave her the ??... And they gave her ??? whole lot of muffle tea kettle.
over the Gatling gun
in the Bognor Saint
Regis tea kettle.
And then she shat on shat on a turtle! ??? a turtle!
Glossary (crsl = Cockney rhyming slang)

all sixes and sevens: confused
apples and pairs: stairs (crsl)
barrister: lawyer (SE)
Billy no mates: alone?
bint: woman
bobby: cop
Bognor Saint Regis: ?
china: mate (china plate - crsl)
cracking: outstanding
crimbo: Christmas
din-din: dinner
Gatling gun: ?
grotty: gross
had it away: sex
J Arthur: wank (J Arthur Rank - crsl)
Julie: ?
lorry: truck
Morris dancer: dancer?
muffle : ?
pork pies: lies (crsl)
quiggley: horny?
Scotch: Scottish
shat on a turtle: ?
tea kettle: ?
tripe: nonsense
trouble and strife: wife (crsl)
youth: dude
>>
Is it really true that in UK English that when people mention a Morris Dancer they do not in fact mean a Morris Dancer, but just a generic dancer? That is, the dancer could be a ceilidh dancer, a ballroom dancer, a swing dancer, a Playford dancer, a Scottish Country Dancer, an Irish Step Dancer, ... ?

Richard Maurer To reply, remove half
Sunnyvale, California of a homonym of a synonym for also.
<< (Jeremy Smith) In Austin Powers III (Goldmember), our hero banters with Michael Caine in their native Cockney. The delivery ... ? Richard Maurer To reply, remove half Sunnyvale, California of a homonym of a synonym for also. [/nq]
Morris dancer is more likely to mean chancer i.e. someone who lives off their wits and is maybe more than a little dodgy.

felix
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Richard Maurer filted:
Is it really true that in UK English that when people mention a Morris Dancer they do not in fact ... dancer, a ballroom dancer, a swing dancer, a Playford dancer, a Scottish Country Dancer, an Irish Step Dancer, ... ?

...or Santa's number-two reindeer..r
Hi Folks, In Austin Powers III (Goldmember)

I hope you're properly ashamed for watching this.
our hero banters with Michael Caine in their native Cockney. The delivery was fine, but the piece was quite contrived. ... (as best as I could hear it off the DVD) and subtitles, and my translation. I've also appended a glossary.


And they gave her the ??... And they gave her ??? whole lot of muffle tea kettle. over the Gatling gun in the Bognor Saint Regis tea kettle.

Up to here it made sense, but the above sentence is incomprehensible and probably just intended as a joke. "Bognor Regis" is a town on the south coast, but "Bognor Saint Regis" means nothing to me.
And then she shat on shat on a turtle! ??? a turtle!

That s neither comprehensible nor funny, so I'm lost. Unless there was a real turtle.

David
==
<< (Jeremy Smith) In Austin Powers III (Goldmember), our hero banters with Michael Caine in their native Cockney. The delivery ... dancer, a ballroom dancer, a swing dancer, a Playford dancer, a Scottish Country Dancer, an Irish Step Dancer, ... ?[/nq]
No. I mean, it's not true, all that suggested stuff. A Morris Dancer is one who performs Morris Dancing.

David
==
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<< (Jeremy Smith) In Austin Powers III (Goldmember), our hero ... a Scottish Country Dancer, an Irish Step Dancer, ... ?[/nq]
Morris dancer is more likely to mean chancer i.e. someone who lives off their wits and is maybe more than a little dodgy.

Possible, but the point of rhyming slang is not to be understood, so it would be "Morris", in the same way as "a butchers".

David
==
snip the script
I'd have said that from around the "bobby in lorry" part, they've segued into the rhyming-slang equivalent of nonsense verse.
A few comments on the glossary, though
apples and pairs: stairs (crsl)

Pears rather than pairs; fruit pun.
barrister: lawyer (SE)

Lawyer who can argue cases in court (called to the bar - perhaps a pun going on there), as opposed to a solicitor, who can't. (Well, some can now, but it's a very recent change.)
Billy no mates: alone?

I assumed this was a first-word rhyme for "willy-no-mates"
bint: woman

But a derogatory term; not neutral.
Morris dancer: dancer?

Nope, a Morris dancer. Generally considered a bit of a naff hobby.

Cheers, Harvey
Ottawa/Toronto/Edmonton for 30 years;
Southern England for the past 21 years.
(for e-mail, change harvey to whhvs)
david56 filted:
And then she shat on shat on a turtle! ??? a turtle!

That s neither comprehensible nor funny, so I'm lost. Unless there was a real turtle.

But it *is* funny...a bizarre but literal statement (if one accepts the "translation") in the wake of all the elaborate circumlocutions that precede it..r
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