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Dear Madam Mariam,


Good evening! I am writing to you in reference to the Staff Relocation to (Philippine Villa No. 4). Prior relocating Mr. Ezhil the accommodation in charge sent an email regarding all vacant rooms were listed. So that’s why I chose my room which I felt like I’m much comfortable (Villa 1 SF Room1). The following day Ms. Charlotte QC Assistant called me up, informing me that I am not fit for that room, So I decided to temporarily stay here in Villa 4 FF Room 1 as per her advice, while awaiting in Villa 2 GF Room 1 to become vacant because Ms. Jasmin is about to leave the said room at the end of her contract this coming October.


In addition to that, the reason why I was delayed transferring to Villa 4 is because of Mr. Ezhil, he failed to send me an updated list where in, it should be written there that I could temporarily stay in Villa 4.

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Good evening! <<<<<< Don't say this in an email.

You need to start by telling her clearly and briefly why you are writing to her. If you want her to do something, tell her what it is.


Your whole email seems to be full of unorganized details. Can you organize it better and more briefly?


In my experience, bosses don't like it when you blame another employee for something. eg Mr. Ezhil failed to . . .

Comments  

Sir Thanks anyway but I already send this letter