I am a self-study candidate for the Advanced Level Exams in Hong Kong, and I don't have any teachers to give me feedbacks for my passages. So I found this site and hope you all can spend a few minutes to read my passage and give me some comments to help polish my English because I really really want to have a better English standard..Thanks....I am desperate so I asked for help here Emotion: sad
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Topic: Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's society, people everywhere are talking about equality, and some suggest that universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every single subject. This, in my opinion, is wrong. In fact, I believe that this saying will not help our society in achieving balance between two genders’ rights, but only jeopardizing this.

To begin with, youngsters should learn how to tackle problems from extreme situation. If in case there is only one female student in the whole subject, she should not blame, harbour resentments or have a feeling of being alienated, instead, she should ask herself to be an outgoing person to be friend with everyone in the subject. It is very true that we have to learn how to adapt to various environments, and bare in mind that in the real society, no company or organization will change its system for one person, the only thing we need to do is to make ourselves become and capable of competing with others in the social university.

This advice is in fact harmful to the balance of equality. A recent research revealed that there are less male in Hong Kong and even in the entire world. If one male student is capable of getting into one course academically, but due to the “fairness” of the number of male and female students admitted, a less able female student is admitted instead, would this be fair? Obviously, this suggestion is basically against what our society has been asking for, equality.

More importantly, every one of us has totally different characters, no one is identical to other mentally. It is not yet proved one female and male student cannot achieve a intimidate friendship as two female students do. And female cannot be as successful as a male does. We should not confine our friendships only in the classroom but outside the world. For instance, the first female student in Medical studies of the University of Hong Kong, did not self-pity herself when all of her classmates are male, number of male students in class did not affect her ability to shine, not long after her graduation, she became an assistant and be promoted to the chairlady of the faculty.

A friendship, one’s capability and equality of rights are not solely dependent on the number of male and female involved. It is an urgent need for the advisers to think critically and broadly. Give youngsters a chance to prepare themselves for extreme situation instead of jeopardizing them , help them to learn how to be a feasible person and capable of facing challenges, that’s the kind of people our society needs.

Emotion: stick out tongue
You grammar and spelling is all very good. However, you should look into

how to write an essay. You need better structure.
Clee879You grammar and spelling is all very good. However, you should look into

how to write an essay. You need better structure.
Thanks CLEE879!! How can I learn to write sentences with better structure?
Some people said that I am mmmmmmuuucccchhhh out of the topic. Is it true???
I am worried, they said i am going to fail >.<