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The graph below shows the rate of smoking per 1000 people in Someland from 1960 to 2000.

The line graph provides information about the proportion of male and female smokers per 1000 residents in Someland over the period of four decades starting from 1960.

As can be seen from the graph, it’s evident that the rate of men who smoked witnessed a downward trend. Meanwhile, the rate of women’s in Someland experienced a upward trend despite some fluctuations over the given year.

In 1960, there are about 600 men who smoked per 1000 people. Overtime, the rate of male smokers rend to go down. From 1960 to 1985, the ratio of men who smoked in Someland decline nearby 200 people each 1000 citizents. Between 1985 to 2000, it’s bottom out at about 150 residents. In 2000, there are 250 male smokers.

Whereas, in 1960, there are 100 female smokers each 1000 residents. In 1975, the rate of women who smoked in someland reach a peak at approximate 300 people. The remaining period, it’s mildly decline from 300 to 200 females smokers per 1000 citizents.

Please attach an image of the graph. We need to see what you are writing about.

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Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

The line graph provides information about (That is very vague. "Information about" could be a lot of different things. In Task 1, it is very important to be objective, mathematical and precise. ) the proportion plots / gives / shows the number of male and female smokers by gender per 1000 residents in Someland over the period of four decades starting from 1960.

As can be seen from the graph, it’s (Do not use contractions in IELTS essays. It is not proper academic form) evident that (Those words do not give the reader any information.) Overall, the rate of men who smoked had witnessed (Only living creatures witness things.) a downward trend. Meanwhile, The rate of smoking among women increased women’sin Someland experienced (Only living creatures experience things.) a upward trend despite some fluctuations over the given year. (Which year?)

The second sentence is not very good. You need to study the line graph and notice the two different sections: 1960-1975 / 1975-2000. There was a peak, or an inflection point in 1975.

The rate of smoking among women had an upward trend from 1960 to 1975, but that reversed to a declining trend over the remainder of the period.

This is an important overall observation:

Although the smoking rate among men was less than half at the end of the period as it was at the start, it more than doubled among women.

In 1960, there were are about 600 men who smoked per 1000 people. Overtime, (wrong word) the rate of male smokers went down. rend (wrong word) to go down. From 1960 to 1985, the ratio (Avoid synonyms in Task 1. In statistics, math and science, words have very specific definitions. Synonyms do not have exactly the same meaning. Learn to use pronouns effectively.) of men who smoked in Someland (You do not need to repeat this. You already told the reader the country these people are from.) it declined nearby (wrong word) 200 people each 1000 citizents. Between 1985 to 2000, it’s bottom out (wrong expression) at about 150 residents. (That is incorrect.) In 2000, there are 250 male smokers. (Incorrect. the country has more than 1000 male citizens.)

In 1960, 60% (600 in 1000) of the males smoked. There was a steady decline from that point to the end of the period, ending at about 25% in 2000. However, there were differences in the rate of decrease over the four decades. In the first decade, there was only a minor drop, less than 5%. In the next fifteen years, there was a more significant decrease, 20%, resulting in a value of 40% in 1985.

Whereas, in 1960, there were are 100 female smokers per each 1000 residents. In 1975, this number the rate of women who smoked in someland reached a peak at approximately 300 people. per 1000. During the remainder of the The remaining period, it’s mildly declined from 300 to 200 females smokers per 1000 citizents.