Task 1:
The given chart illustrates the figures of motorbike usage in eight nations among a thousand residents in the year 1990 and 10 years later.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that there are two main features. While some countries tend to be increased in their motorbikes usage in 10 years, the opposite was true for the remaining candidates during the same period.
What stands out first is a significant increase in the amount of two-wheel vehicles recorded in Brazil and Romania. This number, which was only 55 and 68 in the year 1990, made a dramatic rise to 13580 and 8012 at the end of the period, respectively. Besides, the year 2000 also witnessed a slight climb in the figures of the rest of this group, including Chile, Jordan, Luxembourg, and New Zealand.
On the other hand, the opposite classification saw a loss in their motorcycle number. The data of this transport fell from 235 to 187 in Bahamas islands in 2000. Notably, Cambodians almost did not use motor vehicles, which numbers remained unchanged after 10 years, in their daily life anymore.
Task 2: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, technology devices have become more and more smart, dragging on the worries of many parents about their children spending too much time on them. While this trend is beneficial in some respects, its drawbacks are more significant for the followers of this trend. This essay will discuss the advantages of the way in which smart amenities affect the sparse time plans of growing people, followed by the disadvantages of this problem.
To begin with, there are a lot of drawbacks that exist when some youngsters waste their sparse time on smartphones or computers. Firstly, these devices would be the cause of the rising number of young social network addicts. One of the most developed mobile applications, Facebook, has revealed their data about the amount of time four age groups, ranging from 15 to over 65 years old, use this app. Surprisingly, a group of people between 15 and 17 years old occupied more than a half of the remaining lineup. In addition, some children who immerse themselves in an useless thing such as a phone will forget to care about their families and friends, promoting their real-life relationships as well.
Nevertheless, people all over the world cannot be refused that those smart devices make our lives more convenient and enjoyable. Many kids who learn how to live in a high-tech world properly have performed well in their study results, as well as the extent of their knowledge from online sources. Furthermore, these high-tech devices also bring more entertainment creators to teenagers, helping them to reduce stress after exhausting class-time.
In a nutshell, although these devices bring many convenience factors to their users, it is still too soon to conclude that they create more benefits than drawbacks.
Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:
IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice
Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post
The given (Unnatural. Do not use "given" or "provided" or any similar words.) chart (wrong word. That is not a chart.) illustrates (poor word choice Read my advice.) the figures (wrong word. Read my advice.) of motorbike (wrong word.) usage in eight nations among a thousand residents (unnatural, incorrect reporting.) in the year 1990 and 10 years later.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that there are two main features. (That is useless information. Just report the main features.) While some countries tend to be increased (wrong verb form) in their motorbikes (wrong word.) usage in 10 years, the opposite was true for the remaining candidates (wrong words) during the same period. (That is too vague. It is useless. Some increased and some decreased. That is no information at all.)
What stands out first is a significant increase in the amount of two-wheel vehicles (wrong reporting) recorded in Brazil and Romania. This number, which was only 55 and 68 in the year 1990, made a dramatic rise to 13580 (That is preposterous. The value is completely outlandish and wrong. This task has mistakes in it.) and 8012 at the end of the period, (There is no period. There are only two years, with no data in between.) respectively. Besides, the year 2000 also witnessed (wrong word. Read my advice. Only people can witness things. Years have no brains, feelings or eyes. They cannot perform this action.) )a slight climb in the figures (wrong word.) of the rest of this group, including Chile, Jordan, Luxembourg, and New Zealand.
On the other hand, (wrong expression.) the opposite classification (wrong word.) saw (wrong word. Read my advice. Only people can see things. Categories have no eyes. They cannot perform this action.)a loss in their motorcycle number. The data of this transport (wrong expression.) fell from 235 to 187 in the Bahamas islands in 2000. Notably, Cambodians almost did not use motor vehicles, which (wrong word. ) numbers remained unchanged after 10 years, in their daily life anymore.
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Comments
This task has invalid information. There is no way that every single person in Brazil would own 13 cars, truck, motorbikes or four-wheelers.
Fixed the mistakes:
Sample essay (based on the corrected values. The value for Cambodia is very suspect, however.)
The table lists a measure of the prevalence of motor vehicles, that is, the number per thousand people, for eight different countries in two years, 1990 and 2000.
Overall, the countries can be grouped into those with high values, Luxembourg and New Zealand; those with low values, Brazil, Chile, Cambodia and Jordan; and one in between, The Bahamas. Except for The Bahamas and Cambodia, the measures increased between 1990 and 2000.
In detail, the country with the highest prevalence was Luxembourg with 548 in 1990 and 728 in 2000. New Zealand was a very close second, with 531 and 557. In a very distant last place, Cambodia had only one per thousand residents in both years. The cluster of three countries with values between 50 and 68 in 1990 included, from highest to lowest, Chile, Brazil, and Jordan. All increased but Jordan went up the most, by more than 100, or a factor of three. The Bahamas, with 235 in 1990, was in the middle of the pack, and it dropped to 187 in 2000.
Thank you so much!!!
The main mistake you made was not knowing what "motor vehicle" is.
A vehicle carries people. A motor vehicle is one with an engine. It includes vans, trucks, cars and motorbikes.
When you pick out main features, you have to be specific and mention the categories.
Group categories together. That is a good way for comparisons.