Heey, could someone please help me with correcting
this Essay that I have to hand in tomorrow...........!!!
thanks in advance
____________________________________________________

The Assignment was to write 3 paragraphs, about
your favourite room. use relatively pronouns and
give a general discription about your room, minimum 250 words
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My Favourite Room
My favourite room would be my own room of course. Throughout the years I have bought and assembled all sorts of silly items to decorate my room. There are posters as tall as you stand, little lights, which are fixed in the ceiling, and a lot of self-made paintings and photographs that all give my room its unique style. Although my room is very small, it easily holds all the stuff I need to relax and feel right at home.

It's a great place to hang out. My room doesn't offer stress related items such as a bumping stereo, computer or a television. My room purely represents relaxation for all that enters the room and for yourself the most, because after you get home from school or if you want to get away from everything around you it's the ideal place to be. In the centre of my room you'll find a big doublesized bed, which is very useful for somebody whose friends come over to sleep almost every week. There lays a large beige spread made of the most soft Egyptian cotton you've ever felt. I have six pillows, that excist from 2 large ones, 3 normal ones and 1 tiny one. One of the most important things in my room is its atmosphere, which exists from the prayers I pray every day. Those prayers are kept in the extra space in the corner heading south in my room where it's absolutely clean.

My room is my haven. Everything I could need and want to have fun in everyday life is in it. Many have complimented me for keeping it so empty and clean without getting a unpleasant feeling.

Written by Faisal

anybody, it's real important
My Favourite Room
My favourite room would be my own room, of course. Over the years I have bought and assembled all sorts of silly [?] items to decorate my room. There are life-sized posters, little lights, which are fixed in the ceiling, and a lot of my own paintings and photographs that all give my room its unique style. Although my room is very small, it easily holds all the stuff I need to relax and feel right at home.

It's a great place to hang out. My room doesn't contain stress-inducing items such as a bumping stereo, computer or a television. My room purely represents relaxation for everyone who enters the room and particularly for me, because after I get home from school or if I want to get away from everything around me it's the ideal place to be. In the centre of my room you'll find a big double bed, which is very useful for somebody whose friends come over to sleep almost every week. On it lies a large beige spread made of the softest Egyptian cotton you've ever felt. I have six pillows in total: 2 large ones, 3 normal ones and 1 tiny one. One of the most important things in my room is its atmosphere, which is created by the prayers I recite every day. My special prayer space is in the south-facing corner of my room which is always kept absolutely clean.

My room is my haven. Everything I could need and want to have fun in everyday life is in it. Many have complimented me for keeping it so empty and clean, yet still maintaining a pleasant [warm, relaxing, welcoming?] feeling there.

Lil' Ruby Rose
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
AnonymousHeey, could someone please help me with correcting
this Essay that I have to hand in tomorrow...........!!!
thanks in advance
____________________________________________________

The Assignment was to write 3 paragraphs, about
your favourite room. use relatively pronouns and
give a general discription about your room, minimum 250 words
______________________________________________________


My Favourite Room
My favourite room would be my own room of course. Throughout the years I have bought and assembled all sorts of silly items to decorate my room. There are posters as tall as you stand, little lights which are fixed in the ceiling, and a lot of self-made ["self-made" implies the paintings and photographs made themselves - rephrase] paintings and photographs that all give my room its unique style. Although my room is very small, it easily holds all the stuff I need to relax and feel right at home.

It's a great place to hang out. My room doesn't offer stress-related items such as a bumping stereo, computer or a television. My room purely represents relaxation for all that enters [people or things?] the room and for yourself [you are talking about "my room" - do not change from the first person] the most, because after you get home from school or if you want to get away from everything around you it's the ideal place to be. In the centre of my room you'll find a big doublesized bed, which is very useful for somebody whose friends come over to sleep almost every week. There lays [better: It is covered by] a large beige spread made of the most soft [soft, softer, softest] Egyptian cotton you've ever felt. I have six pillows, that excist from 2 large ones, 3 normal ones and 1 tiny one. One of the most important things in my room is its atmosphere, which exists from the prayers I pray every day. Those prayers are kept[prayers are not a physical item, so you need to find another way of saying this - maybe "I say my prayers"] in the extra space in the corner heading [facing] south in my room where it's absolutely clean.

My room is my haven. Everything I could need and want to have fun in everyday life is in it. Many have complimented me for keeping it so empty and clean without getting a unpleasant feeling.

Written by Faisal

Some urgent rewriting needed! Otherwise very evocative.