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The first chart illutrates the numbers of zebras and buffaloes while the second charts depicts the amount of rainfall, in millimetres, at the Nboro Nature Reserve from 2005 to 2011.

Overall, the figure for buffaloes experienced an upward trend throughout the period, whereas there appears to be a correlation between the number of zebras and rainfall.

In 2005, there were more zebras than buffaloes with 50 compared to 40 respectively. However, after that, the buffaloes outnumbered the zebra in most years, and reaching its highest point of nearly 120, which is almost trible those at the beginning of the period. Beside, the number of zebras fluctuated for the subsequent six years, and then stood at more than 80.

During the same period, the amount of rainfall at Nboro Nature Reserve started at around 650 millimetres in 2005. Then, the figure witnessed a sharp increase, to about 1100 millimetres of rainfall by 2007. Nevertheless, in 2009, it dropped dramatically to the relatively same level as it was in 2005 before recovering significantly to 1200 millimetres of rainfall in the end of the period. Obviously, when there was more rainfall, there were more zebras.

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Where are the charts?

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Sorry I forgot. After fixing my essay, can you give me the band of it? Thank you in advance!

Sorry I forgot. After fixing my essay, can you give me the band score for of it? Thank you in advance!

The first chart illustrates the numbers of zebras and buffaloes, while the second charts depicts the amount of rainfall in millimetres, at the Nboro Nature Reserve from 2005 to 2011.

Overall, the figures for buffaloes and zebras experienced an upward trend throughout the that period, whereas there appears to be a correlation between the number of zebras and the rainfall fluctuated a little but rose overall.

In 2005, there were more zebras than buffaloes, with at 50 compared to 40 respectively. However, after that, the buffaloes outnumbered the zebras, with numbers of both increasing. By 2011, there were almost 120 buffaloes in the nature reserve, while the number of zebras had increased to around 85. in most years, and reaching its highest point of nearly 120, which is almost trible those at the beginning of the period. Beside, the number of zebras fluctuated for the subsequent six years, and then stood at more than 80.

During the same period, the amount of rainfall at Nboro Nature Reserve started at around 650 millimetres in 2005. Then, the figure witnessed a sharp increase, to about [ 1] 1,100 millimetres of rainfall by 2007. Nevertheless, in 2009, it dropped dramatically to the relatively almost the same level as it was in of 2005, before recovering significantly to [ 1] 1,200 millimetres of rainfall in the final year of that end of the period. Obviously, when there was more rainfall, there were more zebras.[ 2]

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[ 1]: We use the comma as the thousands separator. It makes numbers easier to read.

[ 2]: That is not an obvious inference.

Thank you for help! Can you please give me the band score of this essay(before and after you fix it)? Beside, I also have a few questions:

1 In my overview, if I change it into like:”Overall..that period.Beside, there appears to be a correlation between the number of zebras and the rainfall”, will it be suitable?
2 In the sentence:”By 2011, there were… 85”. Can you explain why there were both past simple and past perfect tense?
3 How can I use the sentence “When there were more rainfall, there were more zebras” in my essay?

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16- Đặng Công Khải-11.9Thank you for help! Can you please give me the band score of this essay(before and after you fix it)?

I'd say 7 or 7.5 before the edit.

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16- Đặng Công Khải-11.91 In my overview, if I change it into like:”Overall..that period.Beside, there appears to be a correlation between the number of zebras and the rainfall”, will it be suitable?

OK.

16- Đặng Công Khải-11.92 In the sentence:”By 2011, there were… 85”. Can you explain why there were both past simple and past perfect tense?

Think of the past perfect there as the present perfect backshifted.

16- Đặng Công Khải-11.93 How can I use the sentence “When there were was more rainfall, there were more zebras” in my essay?

You can if you want.