Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "Nothing.". I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV.&n bsp; He seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later, he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.


Iowa lost today, but at least I got laid.

In view of the "but" phrase in the first paragraph, I'd be inclined to say, "I thought he might be upset by*** etc." (optional)

I'd delete "that" after "suggested."

I don't think you "keep absent." I'd suggest "but he seemed quiet and absent," OR "but he kept quiet and seemed absent."

comma splice after "I loved him." Use two sentences, or a conjunction, or some other device.

Some would discourage the semicolon after "behavior," but it's okay by me.

Not sure I'd use a comma in "I love you, too." You use so few commas, it seems out of place, or out of style.

Probably a dash after "as if I had lost him." Most likely the sentence as is would be considered ungrammatical.

I think "absent" is rare. I wouldn't use it twice in such a short span.

In your last paragraph, the first sentence is too bloody long. Well, maybe not too long. It expresses a series of three or four different actions (or thoughts) taking place over a period of time. Let the reader catch his breath.

You have three "I decided's" in the last paragraph - a little monotonous.

Also, I'd suggest beginning a new paragraph with the second "I decided."

Running the "but he had fallen asleep" into the previous sentence spoils the drama. You need some kind of a break or bridge between.

English is your native language, Right? Good stuff! The diary thing shows that your really do have a sense of drama - and irony. - A.

*** Edit. I'm not sure what to advise here. "At" would go with the adjective and "by" would go with the passive verb. It depends how you look at it. I guess that means you may use either "at" or "by."
- Personally, I preffer the first joke ''xD

Huahua I'm joking ^^
But I knew this, but in Portuguese o/
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Welcome to English Forums, ecopsy. Thanks for joining us!

Best wishes, - A.