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I just like to know if there are any mistakes here:

"Mommy and Daddy went to a family friend, leaving Amy and Linda alone in the house. While waiting for Chelsea (babysitter), a tall man started knocking at the door. The tall man asked Amy, if she could open the door for him; so that he can deliver the surprise, Mommy and Daddy asked him to give to Amy. Amy gets stuck in a dilemma: whether or not she has to open the door for the stranger. Linda started to bark, which triggered Amy's memory of what Mommy said - “Don’t let anyone in, except for Chelsea.”

Thanks and kind regards.
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Yes, there are.
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"Mommy and Daddy went to a family friend, leaving Amy and Linda alone in the house. While waiting for Chelsea (babysitter), a tall man started knocking at the door. The tall man asked Amy if she could open the door for him, so that he can deliver the surprise Mommy and Daddy asked him to give to Amy. Amy gets stuck in a dilemma: whether or not she has to open the door for the stranger. Linda started to bark which triggered Amy's memory of what Mommy said - "Don't let anyone in, except for Chelsea."

-How about this sir?
I don't think you are in the right forum. This is for grammar questions, not proofing paragraphs. I'm new as well, so I don't know where the proper forum is. But look around, I think there is one!
Bender is right-- next time you should post this kind of thing in the Essay-writing forum.

Mommy and Daddy went to visit a family friend, leaving Amy and her dog Linda alone in the house. While they were waiting for Chelsea, the babysitter, a tall man knocked at the door. He asked Amy if she would open the door for him, so that he could deliver the surprise Mommy and Daddy had asked him to give her. Amy was caught in a dilemma: whether or not to open the door for the stranger. Linda started barking, which triggered Amy's memory of what Mommy had said: "Don't let anyone in except for Chelsea.
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