The bar chart compares some type of housing interested by British people of the survey in 2009.

Most of people in Liverpool was attracted to the apartments. While semi-detached houses were preferred by interviewers in both London and Manchester. Almost UK people pay little attention to terraced houses.

The percentage of people fascinated with apartments was highest.,about 60%.But the opposite was true for the figures of semi-detached houses, just around 20%. The proportion for semi-detached houses in London and Manchester were equal, below 40% but apartments in the former were more interested than in the latter, at about 29% and 19%.

The numbers of people liked detached houses in Manchester was around 35%,which was about 10% and 20% higher than in comparison with that of London and Liverpool respectively. Meanwhile, not many people preferred terranced houses in UK, about 19% in London and above 10% in Manchester. Only 9% of people in Liverpool took to this type of housing.

The bar chart compares some type of housing interested by British people of the survey in 2009. (That makes no sense. It is ungrammatical. It is also not what is on this bar chart. You did not mention the three cities. You did not mention the four types of housing.)

This paragraph describes the bar chart.

A survey was conducted in 2009 in three cities in the UK, Liverpool, London and Manchester, asking residents which of four types of housing (apartments, terraced houses, detached houses and semi-detached houses) they liked the best. The bar chart plots the percentage of people in each city that chose each type.

You must observe on this chart that each person who participated in the survey picked only one of the four. So the one choice is their favorite of the four, or what they liked best.




Most of people in Liverpool was (wrong verb form) attracted to the apartments. While semi-detached houses were preferred by interviewers in both London and Manchester. (Fragment, not a sentence) Almost UK people (There are tall people, short people, rich people and smart people, but there is not such thing as "almost" people. An "almost person" might be a mix of some animal and a human.) pay little attention to terraced houses.

The percentage of people fascinated (poor word choice) with apartments was highest.,about 60%.But the opposite was true for the figures (wrong word) of semi-detached houses, just around 20%. The proportion for semi-detached houses in London and Manchester were equal, below 40% (imprecise) but apartments in the former (unnatural) were more interested (wrong expression. Apartments are not interested in anything, are they?) than in the latter, at about 29% and 19%.

The numbers (wrong word There are no numbers - such as 23,574 or 9,351 - on this chart.) of people liked detached houses in Manchester (ungrammatical - You cannot use a main clause - "people liked detached houses in Manchester." - as the object of a preposition.) was around 35%,which was about 10% and 20% higher than in comparison (ungrammatical) with that of London and Liverpool respectively. Meanwhile, not many people preferred terranced houses in UK, about 19% in London and above 10% (18% is above 10% and so is 45%. "above 10%" is not precise.) in Manchester. Only 9% of the people in Liverpool took to (poor word choice) this type of housing.


If you would like a sample, you may ask for one.
You need to practice writing complex sentences.