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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

Why might this be the case?

Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Louise Glickman once said: ‘The best investment on Earth is Earth’. The quote implies the importance of the land’s ownership and the imperative of owning a real house instead of paying an amount of money for an apartment every month. This trend traces its root from the Vietnamese cultural belief which is considered a good phenomenon. The point of this writer’s view does not agree.

Vietnamese traditional society believes that home is where everything comes from. A majority form of family in Vietnam is extended family, including more than two generations living under the same roof. Ergo, a house plays a role as a ground for all of the members coming back from the outside to gather and express their love. A classic case is that in Tet holiday, which is a conventional festival in Vietnam, people who work from other cities or even countries having a strong desire for their families since the missing home.

Many people argue that we are in the period of transforming, leading to the convincing of old traditions’ replacement. A small group of young minds expressed that there would be nothing matters whether owning a house or hiring an apartment. The crucial part depends on everyone's heart. If the love spent on your family is big enough, nothing can beat it up. This thought really does affect my mind.

A significant group of elderly considered this new thought could destroy such beautiful conventional belief and assimilating Vietnamese people into those ‘white guys’. Adversely, I myself find living in a rental house is normal. The benign defeats its negative since there could be huge money for your saving account unless you possessed such a big ‘building’.

Insist, this writer firmly believes in the role of family and there are a variety of ways to express that love to your family. Buying a house does not make you look better.

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Louise Glickman once said: ‘The best investment on Earth is Earth’. The quote implies demonstrates the importance of the land’s ownership (wrong expression. Land does not own anything. The quote does not mention any houses. Someone can own a house without owning land..) and the imperative of owning a real (Are some houses imaginary?) house instead of paying rent an amount of money for an apartment every month. This trend (wrong word. A trend is something that is going up continuously or going down continuously. You have not mentioned any trend.. ..) traces its roots from the Vietnamese cultural belief which is considered a good phenomenon. (wrong expression. I do not know what you mean. Beliefs are not phenomena. A phenomenon is usually a natural occurrence that cannot be explained. )The point of this writer’s view does not agree. (That makes no sense. Do not refer to yourself as "this writer." Are you disagreeing with Vietnamese cultural beliefs?

You must answer the essay prompt in the first paragraph if you want a good score. The essay prompt is:

Why might this be the case?

Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

You did not clearly address either of these questions.

For example:

The tradition and respect for owning your own home is very strong in some countries, especially Vietnam. (This statement addresses the first prompt.)

In my opinion, this is a bad situation because homes are unaffordable for most families. (This addresses the second prompt.)


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You have a good understanding of vocabulary and grammar. But your essay will not get a good score because you are not focused on the topic. Your points are not clear. There are many sentences which do not make sense. You are trying too hard to write at a level that is higher than your skills, and this nearly always fails.



Vietnamese traditional society believes that home is the center of everything. where everything comes from. A majority The most frequent form of a family in Vietnam is the extended family, including with more than two generations living under the same roof. Ergo, a house plays a role as a place ground for all of the family members coming back from the outside to gather and express their love. A classic case is that in during the Tet holiday, which is a conventional very popular festival in Vietnam, people who work in from other cities or even countries having a strong desire to return home to be with for their families since the missing home.

(That makes no sense. It also is off-topic. You did not write any point about owning or renting a home. Be sure to focus directly on the topic. IF you write about something else, you will not get a good score.)

Many people argue that we are in the period of transforming, leading to the conviction that old traditions should be abandoned. / people being convinced that they should give up their old traditions. the convincing of old traditions’ replacement. (wrong expression Traditions cannot be convinced. ) A small group of young people believe that they can own or rent a house and it does not matter which. minds expressed (wrong tense. ) that there would be nothing matters whether owning a house or hiring an apartment. (That makes no sense.) The crucial part depends on everyone's heart. If the love spent on your family is big enough, nothing can beat it up. (wrong expression. "beat up" means to fight with someone physically and injure them. I do not understand your point.. The topic is buying or renting a house, not family relations. ) This thought really does affect my mind. (Off-topic.)

A significant group of elderly considered (wrong tense) this new thought could destroy such beautiful conventional belief and assimilating Vietnamese people into those ‘white guys’. (I do not understand your point. ) Adversely, I myself find living in a rental house is normal. (Do not write your opinions in the body paragraphs. Put your opinion in the thesis statement, in the first paragraph. Use the body paragraphs to present your arguments for that opinion.) The benign defeats its negative (wrong expression - I do not understand your point.) since there could be huge money (wrong expression) for your saving account unless you possessed such a big ‘building’.

(I do not understand your point. )

Insist, (wrong expression - ungrammatical) this writer I firmly believes in the role of family (off-topic. It is about owning a house, not the role of the family.) and there are a variety of ways to express that love to your family. Buying a house does not make you look better.


Comments  

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

Why might this be the case?

Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Louise Glickman once said: ‘The best investment on Earth is Earth’. The quote implies the importance of the land’s ownership and the imperative of owning a real house instead of paying an amount of money for an apartment every month. This trend traces its root from the Vietnamese cultural belief which is considered a good phenomenon. The point of this writer’s view does not agree.

Vietnamese traditional society believes that home is where everything comes from. A majority form of family in Vietnam is extended family, including more than two generations living under the same roof. Ergo, a house plays a role as a ground for all of the members coming back from the outside to gather and express their love. A classic case is that in Tet holiday, which is a conventional festival in Vietnam, people who work from other cities or even countries having a strong desire for their families since the missing home.

Many people argue that we are in the period of transforming, leading to the convincing of old traditions’ replacement. A small group of young minds expressed that there would be nothing matters whether owning a house or hiring an apartment. The crucial part depends on everyone's heart. If the love spent on your family is big enough, nothing can beat it up. This thought really does affect my mind.

A significant group of elderly considered this new thought could destroy such beautiful conventional belief and assimilating Vietnamese people into those ‘white guys’. Adversely, I myself find living in a rental house is normal. The benign defeats its negative since there could be huge money for your saving account unless you possessed such a big ‘building’.

Insist, this writer firmly believes in the role of family and there are a variety of ways to express that love to your family. Buying a house does not make you look better.

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.
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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

Why might this be the case?

Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Louise Glickman once said: ‘The best investment on Earth is Earth’. The quote implies the importance of the land’s ownership and the imperative of owning a real house instead of paying an amount of money for an apartment every month. This trend traces its root from the Vietnamese cultural belief which is considered a good phenomenon. The point of this writer’s view does not agree.

Vietnamese traditional society believes that home is where everything comes from. A majority form of family in Vietnam is extended family, including more than two generations living under the same roof. Ergo, a house plays a role as a ground for all of the members coming back from the outside to gather and express their love. A classic case is that in Tet holiday, which is a conventional festival in Vietnam, people who work from other cities or even countries having a strong desire for their families since the missing home.

Many people argue that we are in the period of transforming, leading to the convincing of old traditions’ replacement. A small group of young minds expressed that there would be nothing matters whether owning a house or hiring an apartment. The crucial part depends on everyone's heart. If the love spent on your family is big enough, nothing can beat it up. This thought really does affect my mind.

A significant group of elderly considered this new thought could destroy such beautiful conventional belief and assimilating Vietnamese people into those ‘white guys’. Adversely, I myself find living in a rental house is normal. The benign defeats its negative since there could be huge money for your saving account unless you possessed such a big ‘building’.

Insist, this writer firmly believes in the role of family and there are a variety of ways to express that love to your family. Buying a house does not make you look better.

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.
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 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.