Your essay starts out like you're doing an essay on the economy. I had no idea it was a motivation letter until the second sentence of the second paragraph.

I think you need to restructure the essay. Start by saying that you'd like to study economics at the Univeristy of X for a number of reasons. Then say why you think the field is a good field, then the part about why that univerity in particular, and then your plans for the future. It's not that different from what you have, but at least it starts out making it clear what you're writing. Also, don't mention what your family thinks - universities want to know what motivates their students, not what motivates their parents.

Your plans for the future is the weakest paragraph. You'll need to pay more attention to grammar in that one.

Do you want to try again?
i will rewrite this part. Thanks a lot!