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I wrote the following sentence while I was writing an essay. However, my instinct says that this sentence is wordy. Therefore, I would really appreciate it if someone could assist me in reducing the number of words in the following sentence. Furthermore, please let me know some tips that I need to take into account in order to avoid wordy sentences if possible.


Furthermore, despite the fact that the received wisdom is that it is an individual's responsibility to look after their vulnerable parents, there might be a certain number of situations in which they could not afford it.

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dileepaFurthermore, please let me know some tips that I need to take into account in order to avoid wordy sentences if possible.

I find that the tight word or character limits found in some online forms, e.g. in some "comments" fields, do wonders. Something that I might have taken 200 words to express can actually be done in 100 or less. Perhaps you could self-impose a word limit that is some fraction of your wordy version, and challenge yourself to get the word count down to that.

dileepaFurthermore, despite the fact that the received wisdom is that it is an individual's responsibility to look after their vulnerable parents, there might be a certain number of situations in which they could not afford it.

The main thing to tackle is "despite the fact that the received wisdom is that it is". To start with, see if you can think of one word that could replace "despite the fact that".

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Thank you very much for the answer. Actually, this is a part of one of my essays and I already used "though" in the above of that essay. That's why I didn't wanted to use that again just to reduce word duplication. Therefore, I wrote the sentence in two alternative ways. However, I'm not precisely sure about the second one. If the following sentences are correct and make sense, please let me know what are the other parts that I could improve in the sentence.


Furthermore, though the received wisdom is that it is an individual's responsibility to look after their vulnerable parents, there might be a certain number of situations in which they could not afford it.


Furthermore, despite the received wisdom that it is an individual's responsibility to look after their vulnerable parents, there might be a certain number of situations in which they could not afford it.

Another word that you can use for variety instead of "though" is "while".

dileepaFurthermore, though the received wisdom is that it is an individual's responsibility to look after their vulnerable parents, there might be a certain number of situations in which they could not afford it.
Furthermore, despite the received wisdom that it is an individual's responsibility to look after their vulnerable parents, there might be a certain number of situations in which they could not afford it.

These are both reasonably tolerable. I would personally try to avoid singular "their" in formal writing, but opinions may vary. There is plenty of scope to cut out more verbiage, e.g. like this:

Furthermore, though received wisdom says that individuals should look after their vulnerable parents, sometimes they may not be able to afford to do this.

Thank you very much for the answer.


Please let me know whether the the following sentence is acceptable?


Furthermore, while received wisdom says that individuals should look after their vulnerable parents, sometimes they may not be able to afford to do this.


Moreover, there is no any article that is followed by "received wisdom" in the above sentence. In fact, I cannot understand that. Therefore, I would be really grateful, if you could let me know why you haven't used any article before "received wisdom".

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dileepaPlease let me know whether the the following sentence is acceptable?
Furthermore, while received wisdom says that individuals should look after their vulnerable parents, sometimes they may not be able to afford to do this.

Yes.

dileepaMoreover, there is no any article that is followed by "received wisdom" in the above sentence. In fact, I cannot understand that. Therefore, I would be really grateful, if you could let me know why you haven't used any article before "received wisdom".

"received wisdom" is a set phrase that is used with and without the definite article ("wisdom" is uncountable). I don't think that it is fully predictable from language rules whether the set phrase in itself should or should not have a definite article, or whether, as is in fact the case, both forms are used. It is just "what people say". An article may be triggered by another element, such as a modifier; for example, we probably say "the received wisdom of ~" because the "of ~" phrase makes it specific. Probably the choice between article and no article may also be influenced by more subtle "feel" of a particular context. In your context it reads slightly better to me without the article, though the article is not actually wrong, and opinions may vary.

Thank you very much for the answer.