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In the following sentence, what I needed to do was to paraphrase the experience by "his or her number of working years". Please someone tell me whether it is acceptable or not.


The predominant reason for this is someone’s decision making power highly rely on his or her number of working years.

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dileepaThe predominant reason for this is that someone’s decision making power highly rely relies on his or her number of working years.

Here we go again!

dileepawhat I needed to do was to paraphrase the "experience" by "his or her number of working years"

I assume you originally had

... relies on experience.

My question is why you needed to paraphrase that. It's much better as "experience" than as all those "his or her ..." words.

CJ

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dileepahis or her

While this is possible, it's wordy. Using their would be enough.

Thank you very much for the answer. In fact the main reason that I needed to paraphrase "experience" was due to the fact that I've already used that word a few times in the essay that I was writing. Therefore, I thought it would be better if I paraphrase that word in order to reduce the word repetition.

Thank you very much for the answer.

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