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Hello!!

Someone is going to go in for his 'master of finance and control' a course offered in the university. In the application form a student wanting to stufy the above subject is required to write 10 lines about why he is inerested in the course.

I have written it below. Can someone make better?

"In this world of trde and commerce and breakneck competition one can not afford ignore finance related fields. Everyone needs to have a basic knowledge about the way financial matters of commercial instututions are dealt with. And those, who have an interest in the field, must be trained to meet the challenges which are likely to come in such fields. Since I have always been interested in finance related fields I think this course can provide me a wealth of information on the way the system works. A basic idea on the subject will prove insufficient at a proffesssional level. Proper training by highly qualified and experienced faculty is highly essential in this field since the field demand special skills. After reading the prospectus of 'Utkal University' which provides such a course that aims at increasing the managerial competence I find myself greatly inclined to go in for this course."

Thank you in advance for taking the pain to rephrase this
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The following words and phases need repair or replacement, Bubu:

trde
competition (needs a comma)
afford ignore
finance related (needs a hyphen)
those, who (no comma)
field, must (no comma)
finance related fields (needs hyphen and comma)
A basic idea on (should be plural; wrong preposition)
proffesssional (did you proofread this letter?)
highly qualified and experienced faculty is highly essential (needs article, second highly should be deleted-- 'essential' is non-gradable)
field demand
University' (needs comma)
the managerial (no article)
competence (needs comma)
I find myself greatly inclined to go in (too smug; 'go in' is slang)
Comments  
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In this world of trade, commerce and breakneck competition, one cannot afford to ignore finance-related fields. Everyone should have a basic knowledge about dealing with financial matters of commercial institutions. Those who have an interest in the field must be trained to meet the challenges which are likely to come in such fields. Since I have always been interested in finance-related fields, I think this course can provide me with a wealth of information about the way the system works. A basic idea on the subject will prove insufficient at a professional level. Proper training by highly qualified and experienced faculty is extremely important, since the field demands special skills. After reading the prospectus of 'Utkal University' which provides a course that aims at increasing managerial competence, I find myself greatly inclined to take this course.
release letter
i shall be grateful if you could release the lease document RP/30/5 used as collateral at your bank in the name Mr cook,
i hope this request will be considered as soon as possible,
Thanks

yours faithfully

Mr cook

997.00

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