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Hi I need to change these informal sentences' style into academic style. What I mean by this is applying nominalisation, dogmatic style, and getting rid of the colloquial words and phrasal verbs.

1.In my opinion, Chile has the worst human rights records in the world.

2. Now I am going to present the advanteges and disadvantages of....

3. It seems to me that there are three main advantages of....

4. In my view there are some benefits to be gained from....

5. Children who use drugs are often left out in the dark.

6. They were bewildered by the results.

7. Organ transplantation is just not effective.

8. Patients should not be treated like this at all.

9. Globalisation can only lead to the downfall of mankind.

10.There are different kinds of business, private, public, non-profit.....

Any help will be greatly appreciated,

Baker
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Hi,

I need to change these informal sentences' style into academic style. What I mean by this is applying nominalisation, dogmatic style, and getting rid of the colloquial words and phrasal verbs.

Please don't think that complexity for its own sake is a good idea. That's not true.

There is nothing wrong with being simple and direct. It's an excellent way to write.

Here are some suggestions.

1.In my opinion, Chile has the worst human rights records in the world.

There is nothing wrong with saying 'In my opinion', 'In my view', 'It seems to me'.

But you could remove these phrases if you want to be more forceful.

2. Now I am going to present the advanteges and disadvantages of..

3. It seems to me that there are three main advantages of..

4. In my view there are some benefits to be gained from..

5. Children who use drugs are often left out in the dark.

I don't know what you mean by 'out in the dark'.

6. They were bewildered by the results.

7. Organ transplantation is just not effective.

8. Patients should not be treated like this at all.

9. Globalisation can only lead to the downfall of mankind.

10.There are different kinds of businesses, for example private, public, and non-profit..

Best wishes, Clive
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bakeros, I have sympathy for your assignment, but I can't endorse it.

Direct writing is so much preferable to indirect writing.

In your organ donation example, the original is superior to the rewrite.

If someone said my writing read like an academic wrote it, I'd be insulted.
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Comments  
Hi Clive, thank you for your help. Well, these sentences actually have not been written by me:) I just must paraphrase them. For example,

Organ transplantation is just not effective- The effectiveness of organ transplantation is very low. I do not know if it is correct to write that effectiveness is low, but I created this sentece that show what the task should more or less look like:)

cheers,
i created this sentence to show*
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